For those “Battlestar Galactica” fans that weren’t paying attention, the Sci-Fi channel premiered the two-hour event, “Razor,” last Saturday night. If you missed it, you can check it out on DVD when it hits the shelves on December 4th.
With Christmas approaching and the writers’ strike just now starting to affect new programming, there’s never been a better time for newbies interested in getting into “Battlestar Galactica” to finally make the plunge. The first three seasons are out on DVD and the fourth season (starting in March) will be the show’s last, so you know the creators are going to have the freedom to end the series properly.
**SPOILER ALERT**
When I first heard about “Razor,” I thought it was going to focus completely on the Pegasus crew under Admiral Cain. This provided plenty of story potential, but the creators decided to weave in two other timelines as well. The story jumped back and forth frequently between the Cain’s Pegasus and the time when Lee was in command of the ship and its crew (before the fleet settled on New Caprica). There was also a brief scene where a young William Adama made a gruesome discovery forty years earlier during the First Cylon War.
I figured that Kendra Shaw wasn’t long for the BG world considering we haven’t seen her in any subsequent episodes, so her little sacrifice at the end wasn’t all that surprising. Besides, it was a lot more effective the first time Bruce Willis did it in “Armageddon.” Regardless, her interaction with the old man (was that the hybrid?) on the ship revealed something big. He said:
“Cara Thrace will lead the human race to its end. She is the herald of the Apocalypse and the harbinger of death. They must not follow her.”
Considering Cara returned at the end of season three and promised to lead the fleet to Earth, his words are especially forboding. Of course, he’s the one that kept saying, “This has all happened before and will happen again,” so I don’t know what the point is of trying to dissuade the humans from following Cara. Kendra tried to warn Lee, but of course the Cylons scrambled the signal.
It was interesting to see the old school Cylons again. Apparently, they are only used in minor duty, and they aren’t as effective as their newer counterparts. It was also fascinating to see Gina’s backstory on the Pegasus. She went from being Cain’s lover to a rape and torture victim. It makes a little more sense now why Cain was so harsh with Gina. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
“Razor” certainly isn’t for the newbies, but it serves as a nice fix for those of us who can’t wait for the final season to begin.
Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an entire episode of “The George Lopez Show,” but after having watched this documentary, I think I’m gonna have to check it out; I don’t have any idea whether it’ll actually be funny or not, but just listening to the guy’s comments in “Brown is the New Green: George Lopez and the American Dream” makes me predisposed to liking him. (Mind you, I was already pretty much in that camp after I heard that he’d gotten into a physical altercation with Carlos Mencia over Mencia purportedly stealing some of his material, but, still, this really sealed the deal for me.)
“Brown is the New Green” focuses on Latinos as they’re perceived on the small screen, and while it probably won’t come as any surprise that they haven’t always had the best representatives on the American airwaves – for awhile, their big three were Jose Jiminez, Speedy Gonzales, and The Frito Bandito – it’s heartening to realize that they’re finally getting their due. Now, if you’re one of those folks who gets pissed off every time they reach a voicemail menu that says, “For English, press 1,” I’m sure you’re already seething mad at the mere thought of what this documentary discusses; in fact, some of you may have stopped reading altogether while you work out a diatribe for the comments section about how giving Latinos airtime to trumpet their culture is akin to setting Old Glory afire and watching her burn.
Well, hang onto your hat, muchacho, because you may be surprised to find that a lot of Latinos aren’t so remarkably different from John Smith, Average American.
For instance, when George Lopez was casting his TV show, many actors came in to audition and, when doing so, they’d put on a heavy Spanish accent. “George would say, ‘Brother, cool down, you don’t need to do that,'” said producer Bruce Helford, “and they’d say, ‘Oh, cool, thank you,’ and then they’d do it in perfect English, with no accent at all!” Lopez himself reveals that, while building the sets for his series, the network complained that the kitchen didn’t look like a Mexican kitchen. “They said, ‘There’s nothing here that indicates that a Mexican family lives here. There’s not a tortilla maker.’ I said, ‘My tortilla maker was my grandmother!'”
For the most part, the so-called “Latino audience” is something which, more often than not, the entertainment industry views as an advertising demographic rather than a group of individuals who are looking for their own brand of entertainment. There’s an ongoing battle between trying to portray real Latino life versus what producers think middle America can handle; one guy mentions how, from his experience, the average Latino family doesn’t always have a father present, but TV can’t hang with the idea of a fatherless family scenario, while Lopez speaks about how absolutely no-one in his family was supportive of his attempts to build an American TV career. The most interesting interview, at least for me, wasn’t with Lopez but, rather, with Bill Dana, the comedian who portrayed Jose Jimenez. He was hugely popular for many years, but he wasn’t actually Latino, and as the tide of public opinion turned, the popularity waned dramatically…like, to the point where, when he announced that he was retiring the character, he was stunned at the resulting cheers.
“Brown is the New Green” is another fine PBS production, providing an interesting, educational, and – ultimately – depressing look at how little love the Latino community gets on television. Sure, it’s nice that “Ugly Betty” is a success, but you can’t really call that a step forward when, in virtually the same breath, ABC canceled “The George Lopez Show” in favor of “Cavemen.” Still, when the doc ends with the revelation that Lopez earned $5 million from the show’s final season, $15 million from the series’ syndication deal, and $9 million from his stand-up shows that year, at least you can’t say that his chapter of the story hasn’t had a happy ending.
I’ve only ever been to New Orleans once in my life, and I wasn’t even there for 18 hours – I was on an Amtrak “See America” railpass, and the train stopped into Nawlins in late afternoon, then took off again at around 6:30 AM – but it still made an impression on me. Granted, I didn’t see much of the city, since the only places I went were from the train station to the French Quarter and back, but, still, I loved it, and I’ve wanted to go back ever since, so I was just as upset as anyone when the city was devastated as a result of Hurricane Katrina.
Watching “Big Easy to Big Empty,” the short but powerful documentary by reporter Greg Palast and producer Matt Pascerella, I’d like to tell you I was surprised at the anti-Bush slant to the coverage, but A) I wasn’t, and B) I’m not exactly pro-Bush myself, so I sure as hell wasn’t bothered by it, anyway. And, really, how can you help but paint an anti-Bush slant when it’s revealed that the White House knew full well that the levees of the city were destined to fail, yet they did nothing to have the problem fixed? Palast shows us a house which sat in the path of the flood waters, noting the number which has been painted on the front window in order to clarify how many bodies were pulled from the house. It’s horrifying.
We find out that the city’s evacuation planning was left up to IEM (Innovative Emergency Management), who were paid a half million dollars to create a plan, then didn’t. We see a field of FEMA trailers, where the residents are all but trapped for the time being, with access to bus rides to Wal-Mart but not much else in the way of transportation. We also find out that there’s an ongoing plot in New Orleans to rebuild the city as a sort of “Six Flags Over Louisiana,” where it’s non-stop alcohol down Bourbon Street and the streets are, shall we say, a little less dark than they were before the Ninth Ward was destroyed in the flooding; disturbingly, a portion of this plot includes leaving some residents locked out of their apartments, even though they were never affected by the flooding in the first place, just because it’s high-dollar real estate that could be better serving the city in forms other than low-rent housing.
Of course, let’s be realistic here: “Big Easy to Big Empty” feels about as biased as Michael Moore at his most pissed off. Palast comes off looking like a real bully at times, particularly when he invades the offices of IEM in search of answers, and there’s a certain feeling that he’s going for the most sensational interviews possible. Still, there’s no reason to believe that the facts he provides are anything less than accurate; this DVD was released through Disinfo.com, and they’re pretty good about offering the unpolished truths you won’t generally get elsewhere in the U.S. media.
In the end, we’re still left wondering exactly what’s going on down in the Big Easy…and, personally, I’m wondering if I’m quite as interested in giving them my tourism dollars as I thought I was.
“Ask and ye shall receive,” sayeth the good book, and after today, I certainly can’t argue.
Yesterday, I ended my review of “Buried Alive” by hoping that I’d be able to find something…anything…better to watch for today’s Scare of the Day. Lo and behold, this afternoon’s mail call brought just such an item: a copy of “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special,” courtesy of the fine folks at S’More Entertainment, and, people, this thing is awesome.
The show opens with Paul Lynde dressed in a Santa outfit, because…ho, ho, HO!…he’s gotten the holiday wrong! The gag continues with Lynde vanishing long enough to put on a full-body Easter Bunny costume, then reappearing to sing a verse of “My Funny Valentine” (which, thankfully, does not involve him wearing Cupid’s traditional attire). Eventually, however, his housekeeper, played by legendary Maxwell House spokeswoman Margaret Hamilton, buys him a clue; he wishes viewers everywhere a happy Halloween – adding, “Whoopie!” – and it’s off to the opening credits, where you won’t find a more definitively ‘70s list of guest stars without breaking out an episode of “The Love Boat.” Making appearances are…well, let’s not give away the whole game in the first inning.
Given that Halloween is a decidedly child-friendly holiday, it’s no surprise that Lynde only hesitates for about half a second before launching into a lyrically-tweaked version of “Kids,” his signature number from the Broadway musical, “Bye Bye Birdie.” While belting out the song, which includes hip new lines like, “There’s too much Alice Cooper / Not enough Alice Faye,” Lynde is being chased around by dancing young’uns; although they all team up for a chorus line of Rockettes-styled kicks toward the end, the conclusion finds Lynde tied up and thrown in a trash can, with the lid put on by none other than…Donnie and Marie! (They both flash their pearly whites at the camera and give the “OK” sign.)
From there, it’s off to the premise that keeps the rest of the show going. Lynde and Hamilton are off to visit her sister, but when they arrive, Lynde discovers that her sister is none other than Witchie-Poo (Billie Burke), and that his beloved housekeeper of the last 15 years is actually The Wicked Witch of the West. (For trivia buffs, it turns out that this particular appearance is officially the only time Hamilton deigned to put on the whole outfit, makeup and all, onscreen at any point after filming “The Wizard of Oz.”) Turns out that they’d like Lynde’s help in softening the image of witches, and they’re willing to offer him three wishes in return. He’s skeptical at first, which allows for guest appearances by Billy Barty and Betty White, but, eventually, he realizes that they’re serious about their offer.
So what’s his first wish…? He, uh, wants to be a trucker.
One magic wand wave later, and, God help us, Lynde is transformed into Big Red, a.k.a. the Rhinestone Trucker, so called because his driving outfit is a rhinestone-encrusted jumpsuit. (The front of the outfit is open clear down to the middle of his chest, revealing way more tufts of hair than anyone needed to see.) The CB radio jokes fly fast and furious for a few moments before settling into a storyline where we discover that Big Red and another trucker – played by Tim Conway – are both engaged to the same girl. If the CB jokes don’t nail down with some precision as to when this special was made, the actress who plays the girl does: it’s Roz Kelly, a.k.a. the long-legged, leather-clad Pinky Tuscadero on “Happy Days.” I mean, really, how long was the window where she was enough of a “name” to warrant a reference in the opening credits of a special like this one…? It can’t have been more than a year or two, tops. Anyway, the sketch ends up turning into a square-dance-styled number where Lynde, Conway, and Kelly sing and strut around a stage that’s dominated by two 18-wheelers. There’s a reason why they don’t make ‘em like this anymore, but, even so, you won’t be able to take your eyes off the screen.
Next up, it’s KISS! The performance of “Detroit Rock City” is clearly lip-synched, but, fuck it, who cares? It’s the classic foursome in all their glory, so it hardly matters. From there, Lynde wishes himself into the life of a rich sheik that kidnaps a woman – played by Florence Henderson – and tries to woo her to become his bride, in the process sneaking in jokes with punchlines involving “Laverne & Shirley” and “Baretta” (gee, y’think this originally aired on ABC?). Upon his return to the witches’ homestead, they made a request to go to “a real Hollywood disco,” and, shockingly, Lynde says he can make that happen. After a quick raiding of Liza Minnelli’s closet for just the right satin-encrusted jacket, Lynde takes the ladies to a haunted discothèque where…what luck!…Florence Henderson just happens to be performing a disco-fied version of “That Old Black Magic.”
AWESOME.
Perhaps sensing that viewers would be a little too riled up after Henderson’s number, the producers decided to bring the mood down a little. Cut to Peter Criss sitting at a piano in full make-up, offering a heartfelt rendition of “Beth.” Eventually, Criss’s bandmates emerge from the shadows and flank him, and after the song ends, Lynde and Hamilton join them to trade one-liners for a few minutes. (Lynde: “I can take one look at you four and tell you how you got your name and how you got your act: you had a fight, and your mothers told you to kiss and make-up!”) Soon, however, it’s time for Lynde to make his last wish, and he’s so smitten with the foursome that all he wants is for KISS to play another song! Say, guys, how about “King of the Nighttime World”? Done and done.
The show comes to its grand finale with the return of Roz Kelly, as she and Lynde duet on a god-awful song called “Disco Baby,” and all of the guest stars dance around the stage as Lynde hollers out, “I like that funky stuff!” Oh, wait, did I say all of the guest stars? Not true. Donnie and Marie never re-appear again (not too much of a surprise, since they weren’t mentioned in the credits to begin with), and the guys from KISS wisely ensconce themselves in the balcony, only looking down to frown at the shenanigans going on below. Paul Lynde closes by addressing the camera directly and offering his thanks to all the viewers, adding, “I hope that we were a howling success.”
Oh, yeah, I was howling all right…with laughter. As an artifact of the ’70s variety era, this is right up there with “The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.” It’s a must-see.
Heaven (or Hell) knows that the Gothic horror tale of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” has been told about a zillion times over the years, often with considerable liberties taken with both the novel as well as its titular character; in fact, it’s been changed so many times over the years that one might get the idea that doing an adaptation that’s more or less faithful to the Stoker text isn’t worth doing. In 1977, however, the ever-diligent BBC produced a version – entitled “Count Dracula” – that, in addition to being one of the most precise transitions from novel to screen, is a pretty damned good viewing experience all around.
Here, the Count is played by Louis Jordan, who, even with credits on his lengthy resume which range from “Gigi” to “Octopussy,” will always be most fondly remembered by this writer for his villainous turn in “Swamp Thing” (and, to a decidedly lesser extent, “The Return of Swamp Thing”). Your mileage may vary as to your opinions on how he plays the role of Dracula, but I was entertained by the vaguely smug manner in which he reacted to those persons reacting to him. Other actors of note who appear in the production are Frank Finlay (he played Porthos in a trio of “Musketeers” films) as Professor Van Helsing, and Judi Bowker (she was Princess Andromeda in “Clash of the Titans”) as Mina Westenra.
The production bounces back and forth between film and video, like most BBC productions, but given that there’s decidedly no shortage of real castles in the UK, it looks quite authentic more often than not. Director Philip Saville (“Mandela,” “Metroland”) opts to utilize a film-negative effect when Count Dracula is feeding, with an additional amount of red around the eyes; it looks a mite cheesy nowadays, but not in, say, a mid-’70s “Doctor Who” way. (In other words, you see what he was going for and learn to accept it pretty quickly.) There are some surprisingly disconcerting moments throughout the proceedings, the most notable of the bunch being when the Brides of Dracula are clearly shown to be feeding on the blood of a baby; apparently, the scene was excised from various rebroadcasts over the years, but it’s intact on this DVD release. It’s also an inexpensive but effectively creepy moment when we see Dracula crawling down the wall of his castle, a scene which apparently had never been included in an adaptation of the novel before.
Given that it is an impressively faithful adaptation of the Stoker novel, “Count Dracula” can get a bit slow at times, but all told, I’d personally pick this over Francis Ford Coppolla’s version.
