Category: Rome (Page 5 of 7)

Just when you thought the show had covered every area of sexual depravity, they throw some incest at you. That’s right, Octavian is back from boarding school and Servilia enlists his sister (and her lesbian lover) to seduce him once she discovers that he holds the secret to Caesar’s ailment. Octavian is a bright kid and after he and his sister get it on, he tells her that he’s suspicious of her motives. A servant witnesses the morally reprehensible act and blows the whistle by telling his master, Atia – pissing her off to no end. Octavia only went along with this plan because she thought her mother had killed her husband (she did) and after confronting her, her mother lies right to her face. Later, Atia arranges for Servilia to get carjacked, leaving her naked and wailing in the streets of Rome – not a pretty sight.

Meanwhile, Lucius comes thisclose to a dangerous confrontation with his old boss (over a slap to the face, of all things) before Caesar unknowingly saves the day by showing up at Lucius’ home and asking him to be his magistrate for a section of Rome. Lucius hesitates, but agrees and this sends Titus Pullo into a tailspin. The two most interesting relationships in the show are Titus’ friendship with Lucius and his budding romance with his slave girl. The latter is cranked up a notch when Titus ties one on and calls the girl out – literally. It’s tough to get a read on the girl; as the two start to get it on, she seems quite distant. I’m interested to see where this takes poor Titus – I think he’s in love.

It was all about Egypt in this episode, as Caesar took a small group of men to find out what happened to Pompey. The child king of Egypt is in a feud with his sister (none other than Cleopatra) and the king describes his relationship with her by saying, “I piss on her! I shit on her!” How’s that for a sibling rivalry? Once Caesar finds out that Pompey was beheaded he realizes that this boy ruling Egypt (for Rome) will not do and he sends out a couple of men – Lucius and Titus, of course – to find Cleopatra.

The two men find her and actually save her life before Cleo orders Lucius to have sex with her because she wants to give Caesar a child, saying that her “womb is between floods.” Colorful imagery aside, you have to like the reasoning – Cleo is a deceptive one, for sure. Having a conscience, Lucius can’t pull the trigger so he orders Titus to do it. As expected, the big fella has no problem sexing up the beautiful princess, and an angry Lucius ends up suffering from serious penis envy. When they return the princess to Alexandria, Cleo seduces Caesar and nine months later, Caesar has his first son – or so he thinks. Titus doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that he may have a son that will never know his true father, but that is a secret that he’ll have to take to his grave, or else face the consequences

After last season, many of the networks scrambled to capitalize on the success of “Lost,” but I wasn’t expecting any of the characters on “Rome” to end up stranded on a deserted island. Such was the case for our heroes, Lucius and Titus, who find themselves in dire straits after their ship sinks in a storm. I half expected a polar bear to charge out of the jungle, only there wasn’t any jungle, or any water for that matter. “This is where we die,” proclaims Lucius, who later figures out a way to use the corpses that washed up as part of a raft to get off the island. Like the Guinness guy says on those commercials – “Brilliant!”

Last week, I discussed Octavia’s budding relationship with Servilia, but I thought it would develop as more of a mother / daughter connection, with Servilia acting as a proper maternal figure that Octavia seems to so desperately want. But that’s not what we saw tonight. Regarding the lesbian love, I started to get suspicious when Octavia had to primp before seeing Servilia the first time and then more so after her strange reaction (post-masturbation scene) when Atia wanted her to visit Servilia the second time. There’s sort of a Melissa Etheridge / Portia De Rossi thing going on between these two. It should be good television when Atia finally finds out.

I felt a little cheated after all the buildup to the final battle between Pompey and Caesar. The battle consisted of a few close up strobe shots of soldiers fighting. I hate the strobe effect – it is a cheap way to try to add drama to a scene that should contain more, and it is usually a sign of a show going the way of the dodo, or at least being dropped from my viewing roster. I am going to give “Rome” a pass on this one, but if this is really their idea of a battle scene, we’re all in trouble. Nevertheless, we have no idea how Caesar overcame horrible odds to be victorious until Pompey draws it out in the dirt later in the show. That’s just what I want to see, a semicircle in the dirt.

I also wonder about the likelihood of Pompey arriving at the exact same spot on the coast where Lucius and Titus wash ashore. Talk about random. Caesar explains this convenient coincidence away in one of the final scenes by saying that our two heroes “have powerful gods on their side.” If you say so, Julius. If you ask me, it’s just uncharacteristically lazy writing.

And how about poor, poor Cicero? The guy wants out of politics and just wants to sleep, whether it’s a proper retirement or a permanent dirt nap. He and Brutus surrender to Caesar and the chief welcomes him with open arms. Cicero tries to beg for Caesar’s mercy, and seems to be trying to put himself out to pasture in the process, but Caesar won’t let him get a word in edgewise. An overused Michael Corleone quote comes to mind – “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”

The episode was saved by the final scene where Pompey lands in Egypt and is beheaded. Gruesome, violent, unnecessary – these are all words that come to mind. Man, I love HBO.