Category: News (Page 377 of 401)

Doherty arrested again

March 1, 2006 / Deb Medsker

Dammit, if USA Today is going to run headlines like the one above, they owe us all a good juicy story about Shannen Doherty getting into a drunken catfight with Paris Hilton over some greasy Eurotrash shipping heir, or possibly shoplifting seven cases of Evian from Costco in order to wash her hair in it, or running over a small child and then suing him for dinging up her Bentley with his skull.

Instead, the article is about some loser guy named Pete, from some obscure band, whose only real claim to fame is that he once dated raging coke fiend Kate Moss.

Pfffff. Whatever. We want our Shannen Doherty catfight coverage, and we want it now.

Gossip, News

Michael Douglas: Greed not so good, after all

February 28, 2006 / Deb Medsker

Turns out greed is only good when you’re chewing up scenery in an Oscar-winning performance. When you’re a company that misleads famous cradle-robbing actors into thinking they are promoting educational videos when in actuality you plan to use the footage to shill for infomercials, however… greed is very, very bad.

Actors, News

If you strip for her, she won’t strip for you

February 28, 2006 / Jason Thompson

There was a time when I enjoyed looking at Tyra Banks like any other dude. Notice I said looking at. Ever since her leap to TV stardom on “America’s Next Top Model” and “The Tyra Banks Show,” I can’t enjoy this woman anymore. Every time she opens her mouth, it’s just a reason to quickly change the channel. Fans of her talk show, though, will be thrilled to know that Tyra recently became a stripper for one of the show’s upcoming episodes. Of course, she’s not giving it all up as she has to keep her modicum of dignity that she always bandies about. Sez Tyra,

“When I found out the majority of business is from males from married homes, I wanted to go inside the minds of the men who frequent these clubs. I wanted to see and hear why they went. And the only way to do that was to go undercover and see for myself.”

I can tell you why they go. A)They love naked women. B)They love boobies. C)They’re dudes!

Honestly, I’ve never been to a strip club myself, probably because at the time my pals were going to them, I was still living down in TN and the clubs down there…oh my. I like my gals to have all their teeth.

News

Vote Quimby…er, Blagojevich

February 27, 2006 / Deb Medsker

Further cementing his uncanny resemblance to clueless Springfield Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich apparently believes Jon Stewart is one of our nation’s leading serious newscasters. Right up there with Kent Brockman and, oh, maybe Jiminy Glick, we’re guessing.

The Land of Lincoln’s proud governor agreed to do an interview with “The Daily Show” without realizing the program deals in political satire, and was puzzled to be asked whether he was “the gay governor” and encouraged to address the issue of contraception by pretending to be “a hot 17-year-old.” Isn’t there at least an intern on the governor’s team who could have lent him a clue about the nature of Stewart’s show?

Here’s a hint for next time, Diamond Rod B: if the program airs on a network called “Comedy Central,” there’s a very good chance that it is not a legitimate news broadcast. Just FYI.

News, TV

Box Office Roundup: Church folks comin’

February 27, 2006 / David Medsker

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion: $30.2 million (first week)
Who needs advance word of mouth from critics (this was not screened for us) when you have the power of the pulpit?
2) Eight Below: $15.7 million ($45 million, second week)
There was speculation that Paul Walker could have back-to-back movies at #1 at the box office. As you can see, not only did that not happen, it didn’t even come close to happening (“Running Scared,” $3 million, ninth place). Balance is restored in the universe.
3) The Pink Panther: $11.3 million ($61 million, third week)
Sure, Clive Owen’s cameo was good, but it wasn’t that good.
4) Date Movie: $9.2 million ($33.9 million, second week)
There’s a Latino wedding planner with a big butt. Ah? Ah? Ya keeping up with us…? Jesus.
5) Curious George: $10.1 million ($35.8 million, second week)
Only four months until “Cars,” kids. It can’t come quickly enough.