There really is a were-rabbit.

There really is a were-rabbit.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have done it again, somehow combining the lazy joke-writing of “Family Guy” with the recent events involving a Danish newspaper printing cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad. When news arrives that an upcoming “Family Guy” episode will not be aired because it features an image of Muhammad, Kyle rides his Big Wheel to Los Angeles to persuade the network to change its mind. Cartman, on the other hand, claims the episode is offensive, and that the network would be wise to listen to their “conscience.” But Cartman, of course, has a hidden agenda; he simply hates “Family Guy,” and will do anything to get the show taken off the air.
In the end, the “Family Guy” episode airs (the idea of their writing staff consisting of a bunch of manatees putting balls with words into a hoop sums up my feelings about the scattershot joke writing on “Family Guy” better than anything), after Kyle persuades the network executives not to give in to what is basically a terrorist threat. Kyle even tells Cartman that his plan to use fear to reach his goal is like terrorism. “Like terrorism? It is terrorism,” Cartman replies.
Now here’s where it gets really weird.
The “Family Guy” sequence that Parker and Stone created features a scene where Muhammad gives Peter Griffin a football…and the image of Muhammad was omitted by Comedy Central censors. (If you, like me, thought the censored bit was just a joke on Parker and Stone’s part, you were wrong.) This after Kyle tells the network executives, when it comes to satirizing religious beliefs, “Either it’s all okay, or none of it is. Do the right thing.” Talk about life imitating art imitating life.
There are some incredibly complex ideas at work here. The episode actually pokes fun at “South Park,” owning up to its preachy nature of late (the bleeding Virgin Mary episode, the Scientology-slamming “Trapped in the Closet,” this), but it also makes a very valid point that there should be no taboos when it comes to satire. Parker and Stone, to their credit, are equal opportunity offenders; name a minority or interest group, and they have taken aim at it. They ran a cartoon post-9/11 that featured Cartman and Osama bin Laden in a Warner Bros.-inspired sequence where Cartman is Bugs to Osama’s Elmer, humiliating him nonstop. Comedy Central had no problem airing that episode. What makes this one so different? Hell, Parker and Stone weren’t even making fun of Muhammad here. They merely had him hand Peter a football.
In the end, not only do Parker and Stone make fun of themselves and “Family Guy” – mostly “Family Guy” – but they inadvertently forced Comedy Central to make hypocrites of themselves by censoring the image that Parker and Stone had said should never be censored. The Christian groups, meanwhile, blame Parker and Stone for the whole Jesus-Bush-flag-poop sequence at the end, but they’re missing the point. Parker and Stone tried to treat everyone with equal scorn; Comedy Central, in the end, gave in to the perception that they were insensitive to the Muslim community, and in the process, the network showed how insensitive they were to everyone else. That is not Parker and Stone’s fault.
But wait, it gets even weirder.
In July 2001 (the date is obviously important to note), Comedy Central ran a “South Park” episode that depicted Muhammad…and nothing happened. No threats, no riots, nothing. How about that.
In another move which makes one suspicious of just how much brainwashing Tom Cruise is capable of performing on his fiancee, Cruise informed Diane Sawyer – in an interview which will appear on ABC’s “Primetime” tonight – that, although one can be both Catholic and a Scientologist, he and Katie will not be baptizing their child…even though Katie’s parents are devout Catholics.
Cruise says that the Holmeses “absolutely” approve of Scientology. No word as to whether that’s because of regular doses of psychotropic drugs…nor is there confirmation on the report that, when asked their opinion of Scientology, Katie’s parents replied, “We love it. It’s better than ‘Cats.'”
The 80’s teen queen will appear on television for the first time in four years in the May 1 episode of NBC’s “Medium.”

In the episode, Patricia Arquette’s psychic character has disturbing visions which suggest that Ringwald’s character is in grave danger. No word yet on whether that danger involves Ringwald leaning over lit birthday candles to kiss hunky Jake Ryan; attempting to apply lipstick using only her cleavage; or lending her panties to a geek.
Looks like Peter Segal, best known as the director of “Anger Management,” has signed on to direct the “Shazam!” movie for New Line.

Ah, yes, the Big Red Cheese. There’s a script floating around Hollywood for this flick that was written by William Goldman, the same guy who composed the brilliant “Princess Bride,” but studios have passed on that script in the past in favorite of a more wacky, comedic take. God willing, cooler heads will prevail and Goldman’s script will be the one filmed…
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