Poor Teri Hatcher. First Ryan Seacrest and now this. Hatcher suffered an eye injury when a light bulb exploded near it on the set of “Desperate Housewives.”
“Glass lodged in my right eye and proceeded to scratch my cornea,” sez Teri. Yeah. Is it just me or is Hatcher just one of the luckiest actresses ever? Anyone who can survive “Lois & Clark” and those Radio Shack commercials has to have someone silently humping a horseshoe for her somewhere.
The voice of the caped canine crimefighter will be none other than…Jason Lee.
And this is one of the best-remembered shows of the ’80s…if only as the perfect example of the decade’s excess: “Dynasty.”
The biggest names in the cast are all really getting up there in age – Linda Evans (Krystle Carrington) is 63, Joan Collins (Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan, to be precise) is 72, and family patriarch John Forsythe (Blake Carrington) is 88 – but all of them turned out for the soon-to-be-aired program, Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar, airing on May 2nd on CBS…which will feel a bit odd, since the original series was on ABC.
Collins clearly still maintains the same demeanor that the tabloids always said she had back then. During the taping of the special, she was heard to say, “Can I ask everyone behind the camera to be absolutely still?” (Later, she clarified, “Even if someone puts their hand in their pocket, it distracts me.”)
But in case you think the gathering of the show’s stars was something the actors and actresses did out of the kindness of their heart, think again; Gordon Thomson, who played Adam, originally turned down the offer to appear because of the low salary he was being offered…but then, I dunno, I guess he realized that the amount was easily comparable to the time he’d be off the schedule at Taco Bell and then figured, “What the hell.” (To be fair, Thomson will be appearing in this summer’s “Poseidon”…but, still, it’s not like he’s really working that much these days that he should be so greedy…or, then, maybe that’s why he is.)
…even if you have dried twigs in your uterus.
I don’t even know what that means…but, apparently, Adam Chase – a writer on “Friends” – was involved in discussions with fellow show scribes Andrew Reich and Greg Malins on that very topic (apparently in regards to how, as a result of her skinniness, she was probably “barren”).
Or, at least, that’s what Amaani Lyle, a former assistant on the series, said they said in a sexual harrassment lawsuit she filed, one which was thrown out of court because the California State Supreme Court declared that, basically, trashy talk was just part of the lifestyle of a bunch of sitcom writers.
Thanks to the Smoking Gun, you can check out some of the suit. Some of my personal favorite comments…and I’m sure you’ll have your own once you read this paperwork…are:
*Greg Malins had a little dirty coloring book that would allow a person to make the pictures anatomically correct, and would take a copy of the “Friends” script cover and blacken out letters to make it say “penis.” (Dude, Greg Malins seems like a guy you’d totally like to hang out and have a beer with.)
*Adam Chase said that he likes to get right to sex and “how he was all about the f*cking.” Oh, yeah, and he also said he could have “f*cked” Jennifer Aniston. Right, dude, I totally believe you.
After reading this, I think you, too, will agree that Ms. Lyle’s previous jobs apparently all took place at the YWCA or possibly in a comment, because it sounds to me like the guys on the “Friends” writing staff were, uh, talking guy talk. That’s what guys do. No wonder it was thrown out. I can’t believe it made it all the way up to the big boys in the State Supreme Court.
Our advice: maintain a workplace “permeated with the use of alcohol, pornographic videos and parties inviting open and notorious sexual activity.”
What’s that? You say it worked, and – totally coincidentally – that’s the exact phrase they used in the document you were served with? Hey, don’t thank us…
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