…isn’t love, sweet love.
It’s a 50-foot Michael Jackson robot. With lasers for eyes. On the Las Vegas strip.
Category: News (Page 298 of 401)
Rapper Snoop Dogg has been denied a British visa, which in turn has wreaked havoc upon his plans for a European tour. According to a representative for Snoop, the rapper is “mystified at the decision” and hopes the British government will reconsider.
Hmmm: mystified, huh? Let us help clear things up for you, Snoop. Remember that time you were arrested at John Wayne Airport for trying to carry a collapsible baton on board a plane? Not smart. Oh, and also? That time you were arrested at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank on suspicion of carrying marijuana AND a handgun? Yeah, the British tend to frown on that, too. I know, they’re hopelessly uptight, but what can you do? It’s their country, and you have to respect their cultural differences. Racist bastards.
Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:
1) TMNT: $25.5 million (owner: Kevin Carr, But I Liked ‘Lady in the Water’)
In one weekend, Kevin’s second pick outgrossed his first pick (“Daddy’s Little Girls”). He’s still not getting out of the bottom half of the standings, though.
2) 300: $20.5 million, $162.4 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Someone cut this movie to the tune of “It’s Raining Men.” Yep, that makes sense.
3) Shooter: $14.5 million (David Medsker, Republicans for Voldemort)
Once again, we nominate Pablo Francisco to do all voice work for Danny Glover from now on.
4) Wild Hogs: $14.3 million, $123.8 million to date (owner: Kristin Dreyer Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
This certainly takes the sting out of the performance of “Hannibal Rising,” plus she has “Meet the Robinsons” dropping next week. Look out, Mark.
5) The Last Mimzy: $10.2 million (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
As last-round picks go, this is a steal. As snappy one-liners go, we’re completely stumped.
6) Premonition: $10.1 million, $32.1 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Don’t laugh; this movie has nearly doubled its budget in two weeks.
7) The Hills Have Eyes 2: $10 million (Jason Zingale, Se7en Strangers)
America, it appears, is not nearly as excited about mutant rape as Hollywood would like you to believe.
8) Reign Over Me: $8 million, $58.2 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Hot girl walks into a dentist’s office, says she wants to blow him. Is this a 9/11 drama, or a porno?
9) Pride: $4 million (Bill Clark, 300 Should Have Tanked)
Bill has been going on and on all season about how “Pride” was going to make huge bank. We all just smiled politely.
10) Dead Silence: $3.4 million, $13.2 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
You mean “From the writer and director of ‘Saw’” isn’t enough to sell a movie? What kind of world do we live in? A better one than we lived in two years ago, if you ask us.
Standings so far:
1) Reel Times: $237.5 million
2) What’s All This, Then: $176.5 million
3) Nights and Weekends: $151.5 million
4) Republicans for Voldemort: $97.8 million
5) But I Liked ‘Lady in the Water’: $84.2 million
6) ‘300’ Should Have Tanked: $77.7 million
7) Punch and Pie Pictures: $66.6 million
8) Se7en Strangers Productions: $54.4 million
This week: Two first-round picks square off as “Meet the Robinsons” takes on “Blades of Glory.” The crime thriller “The Lookout” hopes to get some of the crumbs. Also, we get to see “Grindhouse” on Tuesday, awwww yeah.
To the legions of fans who are kept up nights wondering what ever happened to those nice girls who worked at that brewery in Milwaukee, rest easy: TV Land has announced its intention to shoot a “loosely scripted” pilot featuring original “Laverne & Shirley” stars Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams living together in Marshall’s home.
Since the project is just at the pilot stage, no word has been received yet on whether the two old friends will be barged in on periodically by wacky neighbors Leonard “Lenny” Kosnowski (Michael McKean) and Andrew “Squiggy” Squiggmann (David L. Lander). Also unknown is whether Penny will be required to sew large cursive “P’s” onto every outfit she owns, in order to mirror her character Laverne’s original fashion quirk.
The most important question remaining to be answered, however, is this: What of Carmine “the Big Ragu” Ragusa (Eddie Mekka)?
Poor Dina Lohan. Let’s all take a moment of silence now to respect her statements that she isn’t a “party mom.” “Whoever said that, my ex-husband or whatever, I’m not the party mom!” Fantastic.
Still, Dina wants you to know this about her famous offspring Lindsay:
“Yeah, she trusts my judgment. She’s in such a whirlwind; she’s in a tornado. I mean, we’re talking serious earthquake, you know?”
“Lindsay had to fall and get up,” she says. “I knew it was coming. I told her, but finally she was like, `Mommy, I had to do it myself.'”
Like, wow man. At least we know she’s now safely binging on Red Bull and not cocaine or whatever it was she allegedly wasn’t abusing.
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