1) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: $54.9 million (second week, $201 million to date)
Poised to shatter the box office performances of the three previous “Potter” movies, we were stumped as to why “Goblet” was doing so much better than the others. Then it hit us; the other “Potter” movies were really good, and no one likes those kinds of movies.
2) Walk the Line: $19.7 million (second week, $54.7 million to date)
Shortly before his death, Johnny Cash meets a wigged out Joaquin Phoenix, knows the look of a man headed to rehab when he sees it, and says, “Yep, he’ll do.”
3) Yours, Mine and Ours: $17.4 million (opened Wednesday, $24.5 million to date)
We received a pass to see this, but gave it to our friend Wendi. She hasn’t spoken to us since.
4) Chicken Little: $12.4 million (fourth week, $118.2 million to date)
Pixar steps back for a moment, stretches its arms, leans into the ear of “partner” Disney, and whispers, “Time to put the rubber ball back in your mouth.”
5) Rent: $10.7 million (opened Wednesday, $18 million to date)
“Laugh along with the common people, laughing along even though they’re laughing at you, and the stupid things that you do, because you think that poor is cool.”
Category: Movies (Page 495 of 498)
…and this morning’s film du jour comes courtesy of TBS: “Three to Tango,” starring Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell. It’s pretty much a paint-by-numbers, simple-case-of-misunderstanding romantic comedy, one of those deals where the entire thing would come to a screeching halt if only Matthew Perry’s character only said, “I’m not gay.” He doesn’t, of course, until the grand finale…which plays out exactly as you’d think it would. The thing is, Neve Campbell is so damned cute that she keeps you watching the flick just to watch her. Also, Bob Balaban and John McGinley are in the movie, two guys who guarantee at least a few laughs.
Oh, crap. “Three to Tango” is over and “The Birdcage” is coming on. Time to flip over to TNT and watch “Twister”…
While I’m waiting on my copy of “Heavy Metal Parking Lot” to arrive, I got to thinking about some of the other it’s-funny-’cause-it’s-true documentaries I’ve seen over the years…and here’s one that’s an absolute classic. I think the concept has been used in a couple of sitcoms, but this is reality…and it’s hilarious.
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The kiddies may get a kick out of ’em, but 3-D flicks such as “Shark Boy And Lava Girl” just don’t work much magic on a normal-sized TV screen. Unless, of course, you’re sitting five inches away from the screen with nothing to distract you, 3-D just doesn’t work too well when you’re in your living room surrounded by furniture, toys, empty pizza boxes, and the rest. Surely this is something that works to a much greater effect on a widescreen box. And even then, I’m not sure. Truly, the thrill of 3-D is being hit with those images on a giant screen in the dark theatre.
I will say that my fave 3-D feature is “The Mask,” a godawful b-movie horror romp that seems like it was half-written on some bad acid. The story sucks, and the non 3-D bits are rather dull, but boy when that movie demands , “PUT THE MASK ON NOW,” you’re really whisked away to some surreal crap that scared the bejesus out of me the first time I ever saw it as a kid on TV (the local McDonald’s was handing out the 3-D glasses as advertised in the local newsrag if I recall correctly). I have a copy of it with glasses on an old Rhino-issued VHS tape with Elvira hosting. By the way, is it OK if I never found her sexy in the least bit?
There are just too many films released these days… especially bad ones… especially during the holiday season, and this year isn’t any different. This weekend’s films got an early jump on the box office by opening in theaters the Wednesday before Turkey Day, a pointless move considering that all of the new releases are still going to get trounced by “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire.” Still, if you’re looking for something new to check out this weekend, you’ll have plenty of choices with three comedies and two dramas opening nationwide. The films with the best chances of making a lasting impression have to be the politically charged “Syriana” and the musical “Rent” – based on the Tony-award-winning Broadway act – but “The Ice Harvest” may just interest enough people to land a spot in the Top 3. And if you still haven’t seen “Jarhead” or “Walk the Line,” this may be the perfect chance to do so before December’s killer line-up.
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