In a gig like ours, we get DVDs of all genres…and that includes stuff aimed at the family market. Sometimes, however, the aim is ever lower. Since some of our readers have nieces or nephews, little brother or sisters, cousins, or even kids of their own, we figured we’d do an occasional spotlight of the kid-vid releases that show up at our offices.
Gerald McBoing Boing Adventures, Vols. 1 & 2: Way back yonder in 1951, a cartoon called “Gerald McBoing Boing” – based on a story by Dr. Seuss about a boy who, when he opened his mouth, would only produce sound effects rather than words – won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short. It spawned three sequels as well as a brief stint as an animated TV series, although it proved to expensive to produce for more than a three-month run. In 2005, Cartoon Network attempted to build a block of animation for preschoolers (a la Nickelodeon’s “Nick Jr.”), and one of its matinee shows was a revival of Gerald’s show. Kids will love it, and it’s pretty entertaining for adults as well, especially if you enjoy the animated Dr. Seuss specials that used to air on CBS. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself yelling, “Sound check!” (It’s a recurring bit during the show, and it seems to pop up about every two minutes or so.)
Jay Jay the Jet Plane: Jay Jay’s Sensational Mystery: The title would lead you to believe that this is a full-length feature starring Jay Jay, but it’s not; it’s a collection of episodes from “Jay Jay’s Mysteries.” If you’re not familiar with the show, just imagine “Thomas the Tank Engine,” then imagine that instead of trains, it’s planes. This is actually better than “Thomas,” though, because the lessons expand into science, nature, and shapes…but the faces are still creepy as hell.
Tom and Jerry: Shiver Me Whiskers – Original Movie: The good news is that the voice talent on this full-length Tom and Jerry adventures is exemplary, including Kathy Najimy, Mark Hamill, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Wallace Shawn. The bad news is that, no matter how you slice it, this is still an 8-minute short that’s been stretched out to 71 minutes. Kudos to the animators for going after the original ’40s-era look of the most famous cat and mouse duo of all time, but if you want Tom and Jerry, stick to the classics.
Jakers! – Piggley Gets Into Trouble: If you’re an Anglophile and you’d prefer that your children start to appreciate the coolness of a British or Irish accent now, then steer your kids toward “Jakers!” It’s the adventures of Piggley Winks, an 8-year-old pig in Ireland. Imagine Babe the pig if he were computer-animated, and he and his barnyard buddies ran around on their hind legs like human beings. It’s kind of like that. The dialogue is consistently amusing, and it’s worth noting that Mel Brooks contributes the voice of Wiley the Sheep.
My Little Pony: The Runaway Rainbow: If you’re reading this out loud to your kids, you’ll want to put your hands over their ears. Have you done so? I hope so, because, man, this is a real piece of shit. This is the stuff they were parodying on “The Simpsons” with those “Happy Little Elves” specials Lisa loved so much. It’s also exactly what people are talking about when they bemoan programs that exist solely to hawk toys. I tried twice to get my daughter to sit down and watch this, but neither time was she interested…which was fine, because neither time could I stand to have it on for more than two or three minutes. It’s fucking terrible. Seriously. Stay far, far away from it at all cost.
The Little Mermaid: 2-Disc Special Edition: In a sense, this deserves its own full-length write-up on Bullz-Eye, but I just can’t bring myself to believe that the majority of our readership really wants to read 400+ words on “The Little Mermaid.” In truth, however, this ranks just under “Beauty and the Beast” for sheer watchability. There’s a lot of great music here – it DID win Best Song (“Under the Sea”) and Best Score at the ’89 Oscars – and the characters of Scuttle the Seagull (voiced by Buddy Hackett) and Sebastian the crab (Samuel E. Wright) are among Disney’s most memorable. The latter gets one of the film’s funniest lines when the title character, Ariel, falls in love with a human and goes after him, despite the crab’s best efforts to stop her. “You know what her father’ll say?” asks Sebastian. “I’ll tell you what her father’ll say! He’s gonna kill himself a crab, that’s what her father’ll say!” The bonus disc is, as ever with Disney’s special editions, chock full of extra stuff, like deleted scenes, a making-of featurette, and so forth…but, really, your kids are never gonna sit through Disc 2. They just want to see the movie.
