Category: Movies (Page 425 of 498)

A belated discussion about “An American Haunting” on DVD

My wife’s a bigger horror film fan than I am, so when I get in a flick from that particular genre in to review, she’s been known to go watch the DVD before I get around to it. In the case of “An American Haunting,” she started watching it…but she said that it started to get so scary that she decided she wanted to stop watching it until I could watch it with her.

Fair enough…except that I kept setting it aside, we both got busy, and, basically, we forgot about it…until this week.

So we finally watched it, and, yes, the film does have some scary moments. It doesn’t necessary scale the heights of horror greatness throughout its 90 minutes – when your film’s about a relatively young girl who’s haunted by a mysterious spirit, it’s hard to get past the inevitable similarities to “The Exorcist” – but it’s an enjoyable enough, good-looking horror flick, made more interesting by the fact that it’s a period piece (it takes place during the 1800s) and aided immeasurably by a solid cast that’s top-lined by Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek. Unfortunately, what’s painted as a ghost story throughout the majority of its run time suddenly changes gears dramatically at the end…and while I’m not looking to give it away, I’m guessing the conclusion will have you reacting in the same way my wife and I did: by asking, “Are you kidding me…?”

But, then, as a critic, my opinion doesn’t count for much, apparently (even though, mind you, it’s precisely the same as my wife, who isn’t a critic), based on a rant by the film’s writer / director, Courtney Solomon, on the DVD.

Solomon opts out of doing a proper commentary; he starts off doing an in-screen video commentary, but he quickly gets bored and, instead, decides to hop in his car and drive around to the various places involved in the film’s creation. After talking about all the online promotion done for the film and how it helped its box office peformance immeasurably, he starts talking about critics; he understands why they have to exist but that he doesn’t have to read what they have to say, that a director needs to know when he himself is happy with his work and not change it based on the opinions of others. Fair enough…but, then, he starts into an attack on the entire profession of film criticism that’s like a snowball rolling down a hill, growing in vicious intensity with each passing moment.

Dare you read the transcription?

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File under: Remakes we don’t need

Okay, pop quiz:

Which of these classic movies, each perfect in its own way, is currently undergoing a completely unnecessary remake, “re-imagining,” or revisiting of the original story in order to “update” the film for modern audiences?

A. “The Wizard of Oz”
B. “Poltergeist”
C. “The Untouchables”
D. “Se7en”

The answer?

Actually, it’s a trick question: remakes are currently in the works for both “The Wizard of Oz” and “Poltergeist,” while “The Untouchables” and “Se7en” are being subjected to ill-advised prequel treatments. Hollywood is officially out of ideas.

Box Office Roundup: Nicolas Cage’s soul fetches $11 more than Eddie Murphy’s

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Ghost Rider: $44.5 million (owner: Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the steal of the first round. Taken with the ninth pick of the draft (two spots after this week’s fifth place finisher), Nicolas Cage shows that his ham still has some legs. Wow, was that a bad joke. Oh well, the movie didn’t deserve a better one.
2) Bridge to Terabithia: $22.1 million (Bill Clark, Norbit Will Tank)
Disney didn’t even screen this one for critics (well, they screened it for Cincinnati, but Columbus was skipped), and they still took home a very handsome sum of money. The news surely bodes well for Nights and Weekends, who took “Meet the Robinsons” with the first pick overall.
3) Norbit: $16.8 million, $58.8 million to date (owner: David Medsker, Republicans for Voldemort)
A 51% drop-off from last week, meaning that every other person who saw this movie on opening weekend told someone they should see it. Hey, check out the oceans! Are they turning red?
4) Music & Lyrics: $14 million, $19.5 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Gosh, are the ‘80s over…again?
5) Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls: $12.1 million, $17.8 million to date (Kevin Carr, But I Liked Lady in the Water)
No fat suit, no cash cow.
6) Breach: $10.3 million (Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
Hey, Chris Cooper’s back! What do you mean, who?
7) Hannibal Rising: $5.4 million, $22.1 million to date (owner: Kristin Dreyer Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
To give you some perspective on just how spectacular a fall this is for the “Hannibal” franchise, the 2001 sequel “Hannibal” made $58 million its opening weekend. This “Hannibal” won’t come within sniffing distance of that in its entire run. In other news, sales of Chianti have plummeted.

This week: Another super-crowded weekend, led by Jim Carrey’s the-numbers-are-evil thriller “The Number 23,” Billy Bob Thornton’s “The Astronaut Farmer,” “Reno 911!: Miami” and “Amazing Grace, which we couldn’t tell you a thing about.

Rapid Fire Rejects, Volume XIII

Gymkata
This may just be one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen. World gymnastics champion Kurt Thomas stars in the cheesy 70’s action flick revolving around a deadly competition ineptly titled The Game. When Thomas’ character agrees to participate in the contest after learning of his father’s involvement, he must learn to master a new fighting style vital to his survival. Combining his gymnastics skills with karate, the art of gymkata is born. Oh yeah!

Flicka
Practically ripped from the pages of the Hallmark Movie-of-the-Week Guidebook, “Flicka” tells the coming-of-age tale of Katy McLaughlin, a 14-year-old girl who desperately wants to work on her family’s ranch, but is instead forced by her overbearing father (Tim McGraw) to finish school and attend college. When she discovers a black mustang up in the hills surrounding their home, Katy decides that she’s going to tame the wild animal by any means necessary. Based on the popular children’s novel, “My Friend Flicka,” as well as previous big screen (and small screen) adaptations, the family drama is brutally unoriginal and delivers the embarrassingly backward message that kids can do whatever they want because, well, your parents will give in eventually.

Facing the Giants
What better way to win than with the power of the Lord on your side? That’s right, it’s all about Jesus football in the direct-to-DVD flick “Facing the Giants” when the head coach of a failing Georgia private school team is taught a thing or two about faith. Filled with all the usual stereotypes you’d expect in a family sports drama – the star player leaves for a better team, the players are horrible students, and the new kid is given a chance to shine – “Facing the Giants” displays some of the worst acting I’ve seen in years. The film market has been flooded with football movies as of late, but not even I saw this coming.

Dead Mary
In this blatant rip-off of Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” series, a group of friends meet up for a weekend in the woods and accidentally summon the vengeful spirit of Dead Mary. Based on the old Bloody Mary game that we all played as a kid, “Dead Mary” is the most slow-going horror film in years. At a horribly paced 100 minutes, it takes well over an hour before anything remotely exciting happens, and even then it’s a bit lackluster. A poor showing from a genre film that you’d expect to excel in the direct-to-DVD market.

Hyperbole ahoy!

Not that we didn’t expect anyone and everyone to try and make a quick buck from Anna Nicole Smith’s death, but we really figured that most people would keep things in perspective when hyping their product…but MTI Video, who will be releasing Smith’s last film – “Illegal Aliens” – on DVD in May, apparently have no such intentions.

John James, the film’s executive producer, has declared it the Abbey Road of films for Anna Nicole fans,” adding that while, “at first look, ‘Illegal Aliens’ appears to be just another low budget sci-fi comedy poking fun at Hollywood’s big-budget flicks, now, with the passing of its star, you’ll find it replete with metaphors of her life.”

Oh, I bet. You can totally see them in the trailer…particularly when Anna Nicole offers the poignant query, “Why’s my poopy hole sore?”

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