Category: Movies (Page 408 of 498)

Scare of the Day: “The Burning”

October 11, 2007 /

It’s no wonder “The Burning” got greenlit. I mean, c’mon, think about it: it’s 1981, and somebody offers you an uber-gory slasher film that takes place in a summer camp…? Hel-lo, “Friday the 13th”-sized box office! You know the studio execs’ eyeballs were turning into dollar signs and popping about six inches out of their sockets, like something straight out of a Tex Avery cartoon.

Well, clearly, the flick never hit the heights the Weinsteins might’ve hoped, which is a shame, since I’d like to think that, had it been a success, we’d’ve been the recipients of sequels with titles like “Still Burning After All These Years,” “The Burn Goes On,” “Once Bitten, Twice Burnt,” and…um, wait, hang on, I’ve got more. (Editor’s note: Actually, that’s quite enough, thanks.) But even without setting the box office on fire – and can I get a high-five for that one? – “The Burning” has still maintained a cult following over the years, resulting in this special-featured-laden DVD release, which includes audio commentary as well as a new retrospective documentary.

The opening minutes of “The Burning” set the stage for the rest of the film. A bunch of campers decide to get even with the camp’s particularly obnoxious caretaker nicknamed Cropsy – something to do with his omnipresent garden shears, apparently – by trying to scare the living shit out of him, so they place a skull candle on his nightstand while he’s sleeping, light it, then wake him abruptly. Unfortunately, he’s so scared that he knocks the candle onto his bed, sets his blanket and himself afire, and ends up going up in flames, running through the woods and jumping into the river to extinguish himself. Understandably, he’s a little bitter about this, especially when it turns out that the burns are so bad that he can’t even get skin grafts, so upon his release from the hospital, it’s off to extract revenge on the camp. He can’t even be bothered to find the campers responsible; it’s just, like, “Okay, anybody at the camp will do.”

You have to admire the restraint on the part of the folks at Fox for not making note anywhere on the DVD box that “The Burning” features Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens, and even a very young Jason Alexander amongst its cast…the latter with a full head of curly hair, no less. (If you’ve ever headed over to YouTube and watched Alexander extol the merits of McDonald’s McDLT…and if you haven’t, now’s your chance…this movie was filmed right around the same time, maybe even a few years earlier.) Stevens, who looks like he’s about 12 years old, even bares his buttocks for the camera, God love him, bending so far over that only careful camera positioning saves us from getting a good shot of his nut sac.

Wondering about the gore level? Well, there’s a really nasty scissor stab to the stomach immediately following the credits, but after that, there are more fake-outs than you can shake a sharp stick at. You needn’t worry, though: special effects master Tom Savini more than makes up for lost time during the last 45 minutes or so, particularly during the infamous “raft massacre” scene. But even with all the stabbing and the cutting and the “please, oh, God, please don’t,” there’s something rather…quaint about “The Burning.” Sure, it might’ve been…oh, shit, never mind, there ain’t no “might’ve been” about it: it is a “Friday the 13th” knock-off! And, yet, given all the dreck today that’s supposed to pass for horror, there’s something refreshing about a film that features a long, lingering shot on one of the female campers taking an extra-soapy shower. Damned refreshing. Oh, and then there’s the full-frontal skinny-dipping scene. Mmmmmmmm…

Sorry, where was I?

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Scare of the Day: “A Bucket of Blood”

October 10, 2007 /

Welcome back to the wonderful world of Roger Corman, where today we take a look at one of his greatest creative successes: 1959’s “A Bucket of Blood,” starring Dick Miller.

Walter (Miller) is a tad on the slow side, working as a bus boy in a beatnik club to make ends meet while forever dreaming of being an artist himself; he rents a room from an old woman, but he otherwise lives a solitary existence. A transitional moment occurs in his life, however, when his landlady’s cat accidentally gets caught in the apartment wall. Walter tries to help the cat escape by thrusting his knife into the wall to cut a hole in the plaster…but, unfortunately, his aim proves a bit too precise, and with his one, quick motion, he realizes that he’s stabbed the cat dead! (The dark humor of Walter’s horrified query after he hears the cat’s abrupt squawk – “You alright, Frankie?” – is straight out of a Farrelly Brothers movie…well, one of the earlier, funnier ones, anyway.)

Taking life’s lemons and making them into lemonade, Walter proceeds to wrap the kitty corpse in clay, knife and all, and is pleasantly surprised to find that his work is praised by the patrons of the club. Unfortunately, he impresses one woman so much that she gives him the gift that keeps on giving – that’s heroin, baby! – and the “transaction,” as it were, is witnessed by an undercover cop. Frantic to escape from the clutches of the law, Walter hits the cop over the head with a frying pan and, voila, he’s got a new piece of art on his hands: “Murdered Man.”

Beatnik #1: Hey, that’s a pretty far-out name for a statue!
Beatnik #2: I saw a statue once. It was called, “The Third Time Phyllis Saw Me, She Exploded.”
Beatnik #1: Man, what kind of a statue was that?
Beatnik #2: I don’t know, but it was made out of driftwood and dripped in fluoric acid. It was very wild.

And, yes, that really is dialogue from the film.

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Scare of the Day: “Premature Burial” / “X – The Man with X-Ray Eyes”

October 9, 2007 /

Trying to put together a definitive box set of Roger Corman films would be a fool’s errand. Between the number of different studios he’s worked for over the years and the sheer volume of the man’s work as a director and producer, there’s just no way you could ever put together anything that could truly be called a definitive representation of his career. Still, give MGM credit for taking a shot at it with The Roger Corman Collection; at best, it’s still only a mixture of good, great, and utter dreck…but, then, that’s Roger Corman in a nutshell, anyway.

For the purposes of our Scare of the Day feature, we’ll look at two of the eight films within the set today, then hit up one more tomorrow. Today, however, has been officially declared Ray Milland Day at Premium Hollywood, which means that we’ll be tackling 1962’s “Premature Burial” and 1963’s “X – The Man with X-Ray Eyes.”

“Premature Burial” is based on a short story by Edgar Allen Poe, an author whose works were regularly plundered by Corman for his films. I say “plundered,” but I’m really only kidding; in truth, modern audiences would probably be way less familiar with Poe’s work if it hadn’t been for Corman’s adaptations of “House of Usher,” “The Pit and the Pendulum,” “The Raven,” “The Masque of the Red Death,” and “The Tomb of Ligeia.” For that alone, he deserves praise, even if he hasn’t always been 100% on the mark when transitioning the stories into films.

In the case of “Premature Burial,” unfortunately, I can’t make a comparison between the two, having never read the original short story, but I will say that Corman succeeds in putting together a creepy tale of Guy Carrell, a man who’s convinced that he suffers from catalepsy. If you’re not familiar with that particular malady, here’s the scoop: it’s a condition characterized by muscular rigidity, fixity of posture and decreased sensitivity to pain…and in the days before medical technology really took off, it wasn’t too hard for someone in the midst of a cataleptic seizure to be declared dead.

Carrell is in the midst of a full-on obsession with his possible catalepsy, to the point where he even breaks off a relationship with Emily Gault (Hazel Court) because he feels he can’t give it his all. She convinces him to give her a chance, however, and they end up married…if not necessarily happily. Carrell is sure that his father was buried alive while in the midst of a seizure, and to avoid any possibility of such a thing happening to him, he designs a crypt for himself that’s equal parts Rube Goldberg and Dr. Frink from “The Simpsons.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. Eventually, Emily convinces her husband to have his father’s remains exhumed, so he can see once and for all that it was a legitimate, peaceful death…and not to spoil it for you, but, um, that screen shot is of Carrell’s dad, and I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t look like a smile on his face. “Premature Burial” is an enjoyable Gothic horror flick, and while it’s gotten some rather unfair complaints over the years because Milland took the lead rather than Corman’s usual Poe go-to man, Vincent Price, there’s no question than our man Ray plays the role with all the intensity it requires.

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Actors, Actresses, External Entertainment, External Movie DVDs, External Movies, Horror Movies, Movie Dramas, Movie DVDs, Movies, Reviews, Scare of the Day

Scare of the Day: “Count Dracula”

October 7, 2007 /

Heaven (or Hell) knows that the Gothic horror tale of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” has been told about a zillion times over the years, often with considerable liberties taken with both the novel as well as its titular character; in fact, it’s been changed so many times over the years that one might get the idea that doing an adaptation that’s more or less faithful to the Stoker text isn’t worth doing. In 1977, however, the ever-diligent BBC produced a version – entitled “Count Dracula” – that, in addition to being one of the most precise transitions from novel to screen, is a pretty damned good viewing experience all around.

Here, the Count is played by Louis Jordan, who, even with credits on his lengthy resume which range from “Gigi” to “Octopussy,” will always be most fondly remembered by this writer for his villainous turn in “Swamp Thing” (and, to a decidedly lesser extent, “The Return of Swamp Thing”). Your mileage may vary as to your opinions on how he plays the role of Dracula, but I was entertained by the vaguely smug manner in which he reacted to those persons reacting to him. Other actors of note who appear in the production are Frank Finlay (he played Porthos in a trio of “Musketeers” films) as Professor Van Helsing, and Judi Bowker (she was Princess Andromeda in “Clash of the Titans”) as Mina Westenra.

The production bounces back and forth between film and video, like most BBC productions, but given that there’s decidedly no shortage of real castles in the UK, it looks quite authentic more often than not. Director Philip Saville (“Mandela,” “Metroland”) opts to utilize a film-negative effect when Count Dracula is feeding, with an additional amount of red around the eyes; it looks a mite cheesy nowadays, but not in, say, a mid-’70s “Doctor Who” way. (In other words, you see what he was going for and learn to accept it pretty quickly.) There are some surprisingly disconcerting moments throughout the proceedings, the most notable of the bunch being when the Brides of Dracula are clearly shown to be feeding on the blood of a baby; apparently, the scene was excised from various rebroadcasts over the years, but it’s intact on this DVD release. It’s also an inexpensive but effectively creepy moment when we see Dracula crawling down the wall of his castle, a scene which apparently had never been included in an adaptation of the novel before.

Given that it is an impressively faithful adaptation of the Stoker novel, “Count Dracula” can get a bit slow at times, but all told, I’d personally pick this over Francis Ford Coppolla’s version.

Actors, Actresses, External Entertainment, External Movie DVDs, External Movies, External TV, Horror Movies, Movies, Reviews, Scare of the Day, TV, TV Dramas, TV DVDs, TV Sci-Fi

Scare of the Day: “Ice Spiders”

October 6, 2007 /

As God is my witness, I don’t know how anyone could screw up any film with a description like this one:

“At a secret mountain-top government lab, a visionary scientist breeds giant spiders in order to use their super-strong silk to make lightweight body armor and new weapons. Suddenly, the aggressive spiders escape, invading a nearby ski resort and embarking on a killing spree among the guests and staff. Now, it’s up to the mad scientist’s colleague and a former star skier to take control of the chaos…before the entire resort is leveled!”

There’s only one word for this premise: GENIUS.

Unfortunately, if there’s any sort of Giant Spiders Union, then I’d recommend that a designated representative from the organization hightail it over to Sony to protest the God-awful acting in “Ice Spiders.” While I realize that you come to expect a certain level of badness in any Sci-Fi Channel original film, it’s so bad here that, for the first 40 minutes of the movie, I was convinced that there hadn’t been such a waste of giant spiders in a feature-length film since…well, truth be told, I think you’d have to go all the way back to the 1975 Alan Hale, Jr. vehicle, “The Giant Spider Invasion.” (If you’ve never seen it, surf immediately over to the online store of your choice and place an order for “The ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ Collection, Volume 10” right this minute.)

I was never a “Melrose Place” devotee, but I’m led to understand that it’s a vaguely big deal that “Ice Spiders” manages to reunite three of the series’ stars: Thomas Calabro (Dr. Michael Mancini), Patrick Muldoon (Richard Hart), and Vanessa Williams (Rhonda Blair). Calabro does well enough as the leader of the commando unit that’s trying to stop the spiders, but Williams is completely out of her element as a geneticist, and Muldoon turns in such an absolutely awful performance as a former championship skier that you can’t even believe that he’s a professional actor.

Giant spiders and “Melrose Place” fans won’t be the only ones let down by this film. Anyone who spots the DreadCentral.com blurb on the front cover of the DVD and thinks to themselves, “Wow, I didn’t even know I wanted to see a see a film that’s a cross between ‘Eight Legged Freaks’ and ‘Hot Dog: The Movie,’ but now I realize that my life won’t be complete until I do,” should get ready for profound disappointment. This is in no way a comedy. Like 99% of all Sci-Fi Channel original movies, “Ice Spiders” takes itself way more seriously than its budget or performances can stand. It’s a movie about giant spiders, people. There’s only one person in the film who seems to know how to treat the material, and that’s David Millbern, who plays the role of a not-evil-just-misguided scientist like he’s doing a Will Arnett impression, and his delivery is right on the money.

To be fair, the skittering of the obviously-CGI spiders makes for fun viewing, and when our eight-legged friends have the run of the film, you remember that, yes, there was once potential for this movie. Okay, so a film directed by the man who brought you “Mansquito” and “Killer Rats” was never going to be as good as the premise of “Ice Spiders” deserved.

But, dammit, I had such hopes…

By the way, in lieu of a trailer, here’s a clip from the TV Guide Channel where they do an Action Figure Reenactment of a scene from the film. It’s more entertaining than the film itself, but mostly because they repeatedly display that they don’t know a single thing about the movie by inaccurately referring to Vanessa Williams as being the former Miss America and the co-star of “Ugly Betty” when, in fact, it’s the other Vanessa Williams who’s in this:

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