Category: Movie DVD Quicktakes (Page 33 of 41)

Postal

August 25, 2008 / Jason Zingale

The last person that should be making political satires is Uwe Boll, a man that doesn’t even understand the concept of failure, let alone the lines that can and should be crossed in political incorrectness. Loosely based on the video game of the same name, “Postal” opens with the most inappropriate joke of the 21st Century: a view from within the World Trade Center as a plane crashes into it. That image alone is enough to guarantee an immediate boycott by most Americans, and it’s probably a good place to stop watching the film. In fact, even though the scene leading up to the crash is actually quite funny (two Islamic hijackers discuss the veracity of the 100 virgins theory, only to discover it’s not true), the rest of the movie is so amateurishly incoherent that the joke would have been better left to someone who could actually pull it off in good taste. Starring Zack Ward as the nameless protagonist, the movie follows the down-on-his-luck loser as he teams up with his cult leader uncle (Dave Foley) to rob a German-themed amusement park before Osama Bin Laden gets there first. One is looking to steal a shipment of hard-to-find plush dolls, while the other wants the vials of avian flu concealed within them. Can you guess which is which? It doesn’t really matter, since Boll is less concerned about a story than he is with jokes about Verne Troyer getting gang-raped by monkeys and Dave Foley showing his junk. You heard right, and that’s not even the worst of it. Just wait until he takes a dump with his junk still exposed…

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Blue City

August 18, 2008 / Will Harris

One of these days, I’m going to pull together a feature about the forgotten films of the Brat Pack, and when I do, you can count on “Blue City” meriting inclusion. It’s not that the flick necessarily deserves rediscovery, but it’s definitely an interesting curiosity of the mid-1980s, if only because of the parties involved: it stars Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, David Caruso, Scott Wilson, and Paul Winfield (Best Actor Oscar nominee for 1972’s “Sounder”), features a soundtrack by Ry Cooder, is based on a novel by Ross MacDonald, and features a script that was co-written by Lukas Heller (“The Dirty Dozen,” “Too Late the Hero,” “Monte Walsh”) and Walter Hill (“The Getaway,” “The Warriors,” “48 Hours”). Nelson stretches his acting range by playing a bad boy who returns home after a five-year absence to find that his father – the town’s mayor – has been murdered. The description on the back of the DVD box, which refers to Nelson as “a wisecracking hero who isn’t afraid to bust a few heads to get the information he needs,” reveals that this was just one of the many “Beverly Hills Cop” rip-offs which were hitting theaters at the time, and for all of the talent involved, it’s still no more than an average action film, with the biggest laugh coming not from Nelson’s purported wisecracks but, rather, from the idea that someone with Sheedy’s figure could be hired as a dancer at the local strip club…especially when she’s not even that great a dancer!

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The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior

August 16, 2008 / Jason Zingale

I’m not exactly sure anyone was clamoring for a follow-up to 2002’s “The Scorpion King,” but with the release of the third installment of the once-popular “Mummy” franchise in theaters, someone over at Universal clearly found it beneficial to dump this low-rent prequel onto DVD and Blu-ray at the same time. The story begins decades before the first film, where a young Mathayus has just witnessed the death of his father at the hands of a traitorous Arcadian named Sargon (UFC fighter Randy Couture). When he returns several years later after being sent away to train with the royal guard, Mathayus (Michael Copon) discovers that his land is now under Sargon’s rule. Determined to exact revenge, Mathayus embarks on a dangerous journey to the underworld to recover the only weapon capable of destroying his enemy. If you thought watching the spin-off of a sequel to a remake was bad enough, try watching the direct-to-DVD prequel to that same film. “The Scorpion King 2” is oozing with bad production values, even worse acting, and some of the dumbest dialogue you’ll hear all year. It’s like a shitty episode of “Young Hercules,” but with a villain that has cauliflower ear and knows mixed martial arts.

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Hitler: The Last Ten Days

August 15, 2008 / Will Harris

Say whatever awful things that you want about Adolf Hitler, because there’s little question that he deserves every sling and arrow that you want to throw in his direction, but you can’t say he wasn’t a fascinating individual. “Hitler: The Last Ten Days” is a film that wants to be just as fascinating, but it fails at least as often as it succeeds. The biggest ongoing problem is that, while Sir Alec Guinness unquestionably has the acting chops to pull off the role of the Fuhrer, his decision to stick with his own accent rather than a German one never fails to be distracting. (Don’t tell me it’s because he couldn’t do a German accent!) Setting aside the accent, Guinness’s performance is solid, both in his ferocious outbursts as well as his chilling calm, such as when he makes the suggestion that the Hitler Youth be sent to the front lines. Ennio de Concini selected a slightly strange tone for the film, however, going for humor in the oddest moments. For instance, when Hitler marries Eva Braun (Doris Kunstmann), the officiant nervously asks Hitler, as required by the text, “Are you Aryan?” Later, after Hitler and Braun commit suicide, the first thing the Fuhrer’s subordinates do is light up cigarettes, since Hitler didn’t allow smoking. Granted, these things are based on fact, but the inherent darkness of the events are inappropriately lightened up at times, such as when de Concini chooses to have the post-suicide smoke-fest scored to cheery, upbeat music, almost as if to say, “Hey, Hitler’s dead! Time to party!” “Hitler: The Last Ten Days” is worth seeing, but if you want a film about Hitler with a tone that more accurately matches the subject matter, better you should pick up Oliver Hirschbiegel’s “Downfall.”

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Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert

August 14, 2008 / Jason Zingale

Say what you will about the phenomenon that is Hannah Montana, but it’s no different from the many other musical acts that preceded her. People are quick to forget just how fanatical female teenagers can get – whether it’s Elvis Presley, The Beatles, New Kids on the Block, ‘N Sync, or even Britney Spears – and though much was made about Miley Cyrus and her Disney-bred alter ego’s “Best of Both Worlds” tour being sold out within minutes, it’s certainly not the first time that it’s happened. That didn’t stop desperate dads from doing whatever it took to score tickets (including running a 50-meter dash in high heels for a radio contest, as documented in the film), but it also didn’t make getting them any easier. Thankfully, Disney not only recognized that thousands of teeny boppers would miss out on the big event, but that they could actually turn a healthy profit by releasing the concert in theaters.

As far as concert films go, “Best of Both Worlds” is typical fare. Most of the movie is spent watching Miley perform, but occasionally, the audience is treated to a sneak peek backstage or a behind-the-scenes look at rehearsals. And guess what? It’s not that bad. The 3D version of the concert is less exciting than it sounds (just when you begin to feel like part of the crowd, a scene not filmed in 3D pulls you right back out), but it’s still a nice addition to the set. Plus, while Miley’s music isn’t exactly the stuff of Grammys, what she lacks in quality material, she more than makes up for with an energetic performance. The same goes for the Jonas Brothers (this generation’s equivalent of Hanson), who stop by to give Miley a breather midway through. Both are key players in this new wave of tween-ertainment, and while you might not understand what all the fuss is about, when all is said and done, you’ll at least respect it.

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