Category: Movie DVD Quicktakes (Page 32 of 41)

The Foot Fist Way

September 8, 2008 /

The first 30 minutes of “The Foot Fist Way” are as intolerable as anything released in the last ten years. The rest of this mercifully short movie is slightly more tolerable, yet remarkably unfunny for a comedy. Tae Kwan Do instructor Fred Simmons (Danny McBride) is the most socially retarded, immature bag of douche you will ever run across. His miserable whore of a wife (Mary Jane Bostic) eventually becomes fed up with his petty mind games and leaves him, and the only way Fred can set things right with the blow to his ego is to meet up with his hero, Tae Kwan Do master and B-movie action star Chuck “The Truck” Wallace (Ben Best), who turns out to be a drunken, lecherous jackass. The biggest laughs involve a student with anger issues knocking a senior citizen student unconscious, and Fred pounding the eight-year-old son of a man Fred suspects was having an affair with his wife. The movie clearly thinks Fred’s obliviousness to everything around him is funny – take, for example, his belief that he had a fling with a student that never actually happened – but it’s really just sad. It’s one thing to make your lead character an anti-hero, but Fred isn’t an anti-hero; he’s a loser, and there is no bigger waste of time for us than watching a loser act like a loser. That Will Ferrell and Adam McKay thought this movie was funny isn’t just puzzling; it’s disturbing.

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The Fall

September 5, 2008 /

Anyone who has seen director Tarsem Singh’s first film, “The Cell,” knows how visually stunning his movies are, but that’s nothing when compared to his latest picture, an orgy of bright reds and blues that looks like it’s been ripped straight from the pages of a comic book. Four years in the making, “The Fall” takes place in 1920 Los Angeles where a Hollywood stuntman named Roy (Lee Pace) has been hospitalized following a near-fatal accident on set. His back may be broken, but his heart is completely shattered when he learns that his lover has left him for another man. To help pass the time, Ray strikes up a friendship with a little girl named Alexandria (Catinca Untaru) – who, curiously enough, has also incurred an injury from a fall – and tells her the epic tale of Governor Odious and the five warriors who have vowed to defeat him. What Alexandria doesn’t realize, however, is that Ray has an ulterior motive – namely, to use the story as a means of tricking her into helping him commit suicide.

The Fall

Reminiscent of “Pan’s Labyrinth” in its blending of reality and fantasy, “The Fall” aims to take things one step further by reimagining the people in Alexandria’s life as characters in the story, à la “The Wizard of Oz.” Unfortunately, the film doesn’t flow quite as well as Guillermo del Toro’s adult fairytale, and it’s probably a result of its piecemeal construction. This affects both the story’s tonal consistency and the pacing, which makes the movie feel about twice as long as it really is. Still, it’s hard to deny that Tarsem has created something special, even if it isn’t as great as it could’ve been. The visuals are a treat as usual and the chemistry between his two stars is extraordinary considering the age gap and the fact that this is Untaru’s first-ever acting gig. In the end, it might be a little too weird for most moviegoers, but if you like your films colorful and offbeat (think Cirque du Soleil as directed by Terry Gilliam), “The Fall” may be right up your alley.

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The Promotion

September 4, 2008 /

If you were to compile a list of the most disappointing films of the year, “The Promotion” would sit pretty far at the top. Written and directed by Steven Conrad (perhaps best known for penning “The Pursuit of Happyness”), the film stars Seann William Scott as Doug, the assistant manager of a major supermarket in Chicago. When the opening of a new location prompts Doug to apply for the coveted manager position, he’s considered a shoo-in by his boss (Fred Armisen) – that is, until fellow assistant manager Richard (John C. Reilly) decides to compete for the job as well. But instead of proving to the board executives (led by Gil Bellows) why they’re the best candidate, Doug and Richard engage in a juvenile squabble that threatens to ruin both of their chances. Unfortunately, none of it is very funny, and Conrad is entirely to blame. The script just doesn’t make the most of its ingenious setup. As the narrator of the film, you’d think Doug was the main protagonist, but then the focus shifts to Richard, and you’re left to wonder who it is you’re supposed to be rooting for. With the exception of a funny cameo by Jason Bateman as the coordinator of a company retreat, “The Promotion” is a complete bore. It had the potential to flourish as the grocery store equivalent of “Office Space,” but instead, it only feels like a slightly better rendition of “Employee of the Month.”

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Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow

September 3, 2008 /

For anyone that loved Marvel’s on-again-off-again “What If?” series, you’ll probably enjoy their latest direct-to-DVD film, “Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow.” It plays out in much the same way, and in this alternate reality, the Avengers have fallen victim to Ultron. Tony Stark, the supergroup’s only surviving member, has taken it upon himself to raise the children of his former colleagues – James (son of Captain American and Black Widow), Torunn (daughter of Thor), Azari (son of Black Panther), and Pym (son of Giant Man and Wasp) – but when Ultron returns 13 years later to finish the fight, the young teens must fill their parents’ shoes in order to save the world. Despite the fact that this sounds more like a Saturday morning cartoon than something comic book fans would be interested in, “Next Avengers” is actually one of studios best animated films to date. The idea that all these superheroes would leave behind children to take over for them is an interesting concept, and the addition of an elderly Tony Stark/Iron Man and Bruce Banner/Hulk (who’s living in seclusion in the Savage Land) helps to give the project a little validity. Here’s hoping Marvel’s animated division continues cranking out these cool one-shots, because it’s only a matter of time before a “Marvel Zombies” film becomes a reality.

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How To Rob A Bank

September 2, 2008 /

“How To Rob A Bank” seems like it should be way more exciting than it actually is. It should be a gripping drama about a guy named Jinx (Nick Stahl) who starts his day battling with his bank over withdrawal fees and accidentally finds himself caught up in a bank robbery and locked in a vault with a sexy tech expert (Erika Christensen). Instead, we get a film full of almost nothing but people making phone calls to each other, and although it only lasts for 81 minutes, it still somehow manages to feel as though it drags on forever. Terry Crews (“Everybody Hates Chris”) remains mostly stoic throughout the flick, with Gavin Rossdale – yes, that’s right: the dude who used to be in Bush but who’s now better known for being married to Gwen Stefani – offering a more than serviceable job as one of the robbers, even if it’s only because British accents almost always make dialogue sound better than it actually is. So how do you rob a bank? If every would-be bank robber had to watch this movie in order to discover the secret, then the number of thefts within our nation’s financial institutions surely would plummet.

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