Category: Movie DVD Quicktakes (Page 28 of 41)

Day of the Dead

First Look Studios is one crafty little company. Attempting to piggyback on the success of Zack Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead,” the indie label greenlit a remake of George A. Romero’s third zombie flick, “Day of the Dead,” and even went so far as to cast Ving Rhames in a supporting role. It was all done in the hope that fans would believe the film was a follow-up to the 2004 remake of “Dawn,” and since it’s a pretty shady move on their part, I have no problem spoiling the fact that Rhames (playing a completely different character) dies within the first 20 minutes. The rest of the film is spent following a group of soldiers (led by Mena Suvari and Nick Cannon) around a small Colorado town trying to escape a virus outbreak that has turned certain people into flesh-eating zombies. Passed around like a bad cold, the new virus angle may sound like an interesting twist to a familiar tale, but it’s actually much worse. Somehow, this outbreak is only affecting one city, and though some victims turn into zombies after being bitten, others don’t. WTF? As for the zombies themselves, director Steve Miner has decided to stick with the newer, faster versions, but in order to produce their superhuman speed, he resorts to amateurish tricks like speeding up the tape. It’s all pretty lame stuff, and though an action sequence midway through offers gory headshots aplenty, it’s the only shining moment in a poorly made cash grab more than deserving of the direct-to-video treatment.

Click to buy “Day of the Dead”

Sukiyaki Western Django

Director Takashi Miike is one strange dude, and that inherent weirdness is on full display in “Sukiyaki Western Django,” an unofficial remake of “A Fistful of Dollars” using a mostly Japanese cast speaking broken English. Set a few hundred years after the Genpei War, the movie takes place in a city called Utah-Nevada where two rival gangs – the Reds and the Whites – battle for control over a legendary treasure hidden somewhere in town. When a lone gunman arrives one day, the leaders of both clans try to woo him over to their side, only to discover that the nameless sharpshooter has plans of his own. Unfortunately, Miike’s homage to the Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns feels more like parody, and the choice to have his Japanese actors speak English (even though most of them are just sounding out the words phonetically) is just the start of the problems. The story jumps around so much that it’s difficult to keep the paper-thin story straight, the dialogue is incredibly lame, and there’s a surprising lack of action for a movie whose trailer was loaded with it. Additionally, most of the comedy injected into the story doesn’t work very well (namely a schizophrenic sheriff who comes off looking like Gollum from “Lord of the Rings”), and Quentin Tarantino delivers his worst onscreen performance since “Little Nicky.” “Sukiyaki Western Django” isn’t even half the film it could have been, and while many will expect something along the lines of a fun midnight movie, all you’ll find is a great idea gone to waste.

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Flaming Lips: Christmas on Mars

Flaming Lips is one of those bands where the idea of them is easier to love than the band itself, and their foray into moviemaking, “Christmas on Mars,” will serve as the definitive litmus test between Lips fans and Lips admirers. Shot mainly in black and white, the movie takes place on a futuristic Mars space station, where several members of the crew are losing either their minds or their faith. There is also a woman and a baby in a protective bubble, aliens with heads shaped like female genitalia, Lips singer Wayne Coyne as a non-speaking green alien who saves Christmas for Major Syrtis (Lips member Steven Drozd), and more ‘F’ bombs than John Malkovich’s character in “Burn After Reading.” It’s all very avant garde – or as Moe Szyslak would define it, weird for the sake of being weird – and if you can make heads or tails of any of it, you’re smarter than we are. It’s a given that the movie would be odd, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be entertaining at the same time. Fans of the band will surely declare this to be their new favorite Christmas movie. Everyone else should probably steer clear.

Click to buy “Christmas on Mars”

Harold

A confession: I know only too personally the joy of early onset male pattern baldness. In my case, it crept up just slowly enough for Minoxidil to preserve a few token sprouts. Still, my “early onset” was late twenties, how much more traumatic would it have been if I’d been in my early teens? That’s the predicament facing the title character of this mostly irritating comedy from SNL gagster turned writer-director T. Sean Shannon.

Shannon doesn’t seem to know whether he wants to make a wholesome and small-scale yet over-the-top teen-comedy a la “Napoleon Dynamite” or a more realistic coming of age tale. He might have done slightly better with the latter because, despite his background, the ratio of good to bad jokes is about 1 to 15, Moreover, as Harold, young Spencer Breslin (Abigail’s big brother) is asked to almost single-handedly carry the movie. The stocky Breslin at times seems to be channeling a young Paul Giamatti in the scenes where he’s supposed to be way-prematurely crochety (apparently, he’s internalized his baldness to some degree), but then lapses into Michael Cera-style deadpan once all the old-guy “Murder She Wrote”/”Matlock” jokes we’ve been hearing for months in regards to John McCain have been exhausted. Unfortunately, neither really works — but it’s clearly not his fault. More experienced costars Ally Sheedy as Harold’s mom and Cuba Gooding, Jr. as his school’s wacky-but-helpful janitor, are equally at sea. Even cameos by such comedy sure things as Fred Willard and Chris Parnell aren’t able to do a whole lot with this unsure, and sometimes downright agonizing, material. While not completely wretched — I laughed several times and things do pick-up slightly in the last reel – in the ranks of coming of age comedies, “Harold” doesn’t really rank at all.

Click to buy “Harold”

Futurama: Bender’s Game

For all the collective brain power that there is on the “Futurama” writing staff, you’d think that they would come up with better reference points for their recent straight-to-DVD movies. Their first movie, “Bender’s Big Score,” revolved around the Planet Express crew falling for email scams, and the latest movie, “Bender’s Game,” dedicates its third act to a parody of…”Lord of the Rings.” Really? Didn’t that ship sail about the time “The Fellowship of the Ring” hit theaters? The subplot involves Mom (the always entertaining Tress MacNeille) cornering the market on dark matter, which means there are a fair amount of poop jokes as well. And all of this would be fine if they were smart about it, but they seem to confuse complex with clever, resulting in another Byzantine story line that’s sorely lacking in the laughs department. One of the better jokes involves the orcs, which in this universe are Morks (yep, the Robin Williams alien), and even that is a severely dated reference. And they missed a golden opportunity to make the eye of Sauron to be Hypnotoad in disguise. Sigh.

Click to buy “Futurama: Bender’s Game”

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