Category: Movie Comedies (Page 183 of 195)

Box Office Roundup: Triumph of the Will

December 18, 2006 /

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) The Pursuit of Happyness: $27 million (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Bill, finally gets to play one of his first two picks, and it’s a doozy, easily putting away the much higher ranked “Charlotte’s Web,” much to my surprise. (Pssst: “Charlotte” is the far better movie. Pass it on.)
2) Eragon: $23.4 million (Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Another huge surprise. The “movie event of the year” is the textbook definition of fun-bad. But that didn’t seem to bother the elves, dwarves and hobbits one bit.
3) Charlotte’s Web: $12 million (Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
Stunning. How did this not wipe the floor with everyone else at the multiplexes? Perhaps this is the audience rebelling to the news that Dakota Fanning is considering a role where her character is raped. Surely, for someone so pure to commit an act so vile, even for a movie, is the first sign of the Apocalypse.
4) Happy Feet: $8.5 million, $149.4 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Perhaps my joke about Reel Times’ stay in second place was a tad premature. He now has a $25 million lead over Punch and Pie.
5) The Holiday: $8.2 million, $25.3 million to date (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
After two months of boy junk, the women, it appears, are fighting back.
6) Apocalypto: $7.7 million, $27.9 million to date (David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
Don’t feel sorry for Mel Gibson. The movie will ultimately make money and as long as his movies do that, Mel will never, ever hurt for work.
7) Blood Diamond: $6.2 million, $18.3 million to date (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to see a movie starring two of the most beautiful people on the planet, either.
8) Casino Royale: $5.7 million, $137.5 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
TSSU still holds a commanding lead, but with one movie left (“The Good Shepherd”), expect it to dwindle.
9) The Nativity Story: $4.7 million, $23 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Insert your own joke here. Because I don’t have one.
10) Unaccompanied Minors: $3.6 million, $10.2 million to date (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
The Chicago Sun-Times gave this zero stars. Clearly, that writer was not subjected to the junk (ahem, “Home of the Brave”) that we had been subjected to prior to seeing this movie.

Current standings:
1) TSSU Productions: $250.1 million
2) Reel Times Pictures $197.7 million
3) Punch and Pie Pictures: $172.6 million
4) Scary Clown Studios: $132.2 million
5) Seven Strangers Productions: $121.1 million
6) Nights and Weekends: $97.3 million
7) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $35.1 million
8) What’s All This, Then?: $5 million

Coming this week: What’s All This, Then? tries to get out of the cellar with “Rocky Balboa” (Wednesday) and “Night at the Museum” (Friday), though he’s not encouraged by the fact that neither movie is particularly good. Scary Clown releases “Letters from Iwo Jima,” though would like to see the studio ramp up the promotional efforts a little bit. Shirley releases the much-anticipated “Dreamgirls,” while NightsandWeekends hangs on for dear life with the sports drama “We Are Marshall.” On Christmas, it’s Dueling Medskers: Scary Clown releases “Children of Men” and Punch and Pie releases “Black Christmas” (which Scary Clown dropped in exchange for “Turistas.” Whoops.)

Action Movies, External Movies, Movie Comedies, Movie Dramas, Movies, News

Box Office Roundup: Nation’s bloodlust for death of Lord and savior far greater than its bloodlust for death of pagan foreigners

December 11, 2006 /

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Apocalypto: $14.1 million (owner: David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
Jack Black was mildly disappointed that his movie finished second to Crazy Mel’s Mayan Adventure, but when he heard that the lead character executed a perfect Power Slide in a primitive rock-off of sorts, all was forgiven.
2) The Holiday: $13.5 million (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
I’m not sure which is more surprising: that this under-promoted rom-com did so well, or that Box Office Mojo is listing the movie’s budget as a staggering $85 million. When your biggest name is Jude Law, there is no reason in the world your movie should cost $85 million without a bazillion special effects.
3) Happy Feet: $12.7 million, $137.7 million to date (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
Enjoy the view from second place, Mark. It ain’t gonna last.
4) Casino Royale: $8.8 million, $128.8 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
James Bond gives Texas Hold ‘Em a brief stay of execution.
5) Blood Diamond: $8.5 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Ow. A $100 million movie starring the King of the World and the Prettiest Oscar Winner Ever lays a big ole egg. Kristin’s second round pick looks to be an even bigger bust than her first round pick (“Flushed Away”). Uh oh.
6) Unaccompanied Minors: $6.2 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Okay, so it’s sitting at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes right now. But after seeing “Home of the Brave” earlier in the week, this movie was a godsend.
7) Déjà Vu: $6 million, $53 million to date (owner: David Medsker Scary Clown Studios)
Man, I need to create some machine that enables me to go back in time over and over in order to convince people that they’ve never seen this movie and must therefore pay to see it again.
8) The Nativity Story: $5.5 million, $15.7 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
The studio couldn’t have been thrilled when the news broke that star Keisha Castle-Hughes, who plays Mary, is pregnant…by her 19-year-old boyfriend (that’s statutory rape here in America, for those keeping score at home).
9) Deck the Halls: $3.9 million, $30 million to date (Deb Medsker: Punch and Pie Pictures)
Nothing will get you thinking like a movie executive faster than the skill of underestimating the intelligence of the moviegoing public.
10) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause: $3.3 million, $77.2 million to date (owner: Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Maybe not the $130 million-plus flick JZ was looking for, but it’s still $40 million up on “Stranger than Fiction.”
11) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan: $2.5 million, $120.6 million to date (owner: Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
I’m starting the backlash here: the movie was funny, but it wasn’t that funny, people.
12) Stranger than Fiction: $1.5 million, $39 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
The truly strange part is that I thought this high-brow dramedy would be worthy of a first round pick. Should have taken a lesson from my wife and her “Deck the Halls” philosophy.
13) Turistas: $1.3 million, $5.8 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
Hey, it was a waiver wire pickup, it could have been worse. But if it’s outgrossed by “Black Christmas” (which was picked up by Punch and Pie, a.k.a. my wife), well, then I have to eat a big ol’ pile of fool.

Conspicuously absent from the projections:
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. Gone after one week? Brutal.
Flushed Away. No rodent this smart deserves this kind of treatment.
Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny. Why this movie wasn’t released in early ’07, I’ll never know.
The Fountain. Okay, maybe not conspicuously absent, since it deliberately takes people’s minds (and patience) and gives them a good thrashing.
Bobby. Wouldn’t you think that the Democrats’ victory in the mid-term elections would change the movie’s fortunes a little?

Current standings (previous week’s standings):
1) TSSU Productions: $239.8 million (1)
2) Reel Times Pictures $167 million (3)
3) Punch and Pie Pictures: $155.2 million (2)
4) Scary Clown Studios: $112.2 million (5)
5) Seven Strangers Productions: $93.9 million (4)
6) Nights and Weekends: $82.4 million (6)
7) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $7.7 million (7)
8) What’s All This, Then?: $3.8 million (8)

Coming this week: Six currently owned movies open wide (Don’t Call Me Shirley, wisely, dropped “Home of the Brave,” after hearing the scathing advance word). Reel Times opens “Breaking and Entering,” Seven Strangers goes for the “LOTR” crowd with “Eragon” (though the fact that it’s screening on Thursday night has to be disconcerting), and TSSU releases its last movie of the season, “The Good Shepherd.” Don’t Call Me Shirley, in a big to get out of the cellar, drops its top two picks in the draft, “Dreamgirls” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” while Punch and Pie makes a power play for the pole position with “Charlotte’s Web,” which boasts box-office goddess Dakota Fanning.

Action Movies, Actors, Actresses, External Movies, Horror Movies, Movie Comedies, Movie Dramas, Movies, News

Holiday Movies Bad Enough To Make You Hate Christmas

November 30, 2006 /

During the holiday season, there’s nothing like grabbing a mug of hot cider or a glass of eggnog, sitting down on the couch, turning on the TV, and watching one of the many classic Christmas movies. Man, there are some classics out there: “It’s A Wonderful Life,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “White Christmas,” “A Christmas Story,” and, of course, “Ernest Saves Christmas.”

What’s that? You don’t consider “Ernest Saves Christmas” to be a classic? Okay, good. We were really just using that as a gauge, to make sure you that you know the difference between a good holiday movie and a really, really bad holiday movie.

If you’ve already got that cider or eggnog handy, be sure it’s heavily spiked as you enter into our list of 15 flicks that, while they may have started with good intentions, turned out so terrible that they’d turn the sweetest guy in the world into Ebenezer Scrooge.

An example:

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure

It’s not exactly breaking news that films coming out under the “National Lampoon” name tend to be excruciating viewing experiences; it’s been that way ever since they started going the straight-to-video route (and, arguably, about five years before that). Still, it’s one thing when they put out awful standalone films, but when you start tarnishing the reputation of a Chevy Chase franchise, you’ve gone too damned far! We’re not saying that Randy Quaid’s portrayal of Eddie Johnson isn’t funny; we’re just saying that Cousin Eddie’s a character that cannot – nay, should not – be given his own film, especially when it’s as bad as this one is. The premise is straight out of a later, less-funny “Simpsons” episode, with Eddie getting bitten by a chimpanzee who’s better at his job than he is, and getting a tropical vacation from his employers to avoid a possible lawsuit. It’s notable that Dana Barron plays Audrey Griswold, making it the first time any actress has ever played the role twice; it also answers the question, “Which of the actresses to formerly play Audrey Griswold needs work the most?” Audrey’s dad may not be in the film, but Eddie still manages to drag his cousin Clark down, anyway. After all, “Christmas Vacation” was pretty much the last funny film Chevy Chase did, and now, it’s forever going to be associated with this travesty. – WH

Check out the rest of the list here.

External Movies, Movie Comedies, Movie DVDs, Movies

Box Office Roundup: James Bond kidnapped by “several small, well-dressed men,” whereabouts unknown

November 20, 2006 /

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

Did James Bond just get beaten by a bunch of penguins? Sean Connery would have sent Antarctica plummeting into the sea before suffering such an indignity.

1) Happy Feet: $42.3 million (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
A monster first step out of the gate for Reel Times, surprisingly taking the top slot from the hyped-to-the-heavens “Casino Royale.”
2) Casino Royale: $40.6 million (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
Um, wow. Didn’t see this coming. Was it due to a long running time and therefore fewer screenings? Or was it because, like most Bond movies, it just wasn’t that good?
3) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan: $14.4 million, $90.5 million to date (owner: Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
We’re skeptical to the claims of authenticity to the stories about kids flinging poo at cars after seeing “Borat,” but if I had to choose between that and those children becoming racist, misogynist, drunk jackasses, a little flying poo doesn’t seem so bad.
4) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause: $8.2 million, $51.6 million to date (owner: Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Tim Allen hangs in there just long enough to get blown out of the theaters when the Christmas season is officially under way.
5) Flushed Away: $6.8 million, $48.8 million to date (owner: Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
The power of singing slugs, that’s all we can say.
6) Stranger than Fiction: $6.6 million, $22.9 million to date (owner: David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
That’s good, people. Send a loud and clear message to Will Farrell – or, more importantly, his agent – that says we only want to see Farrell make a complete fool of himself onscreen. Heaven help us. Scary Clown’s first pick is a disastrous one, even if the movie’s way better than you think.
7) Babel: $2.9 million, $12 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
Sleeper pick of the draft so far.
8) Saw III: $2.8 million, $74.6 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
If a girl wants to take her back to her house and show you her “rack,” run like the wind.
14) The Return: $1.7 million, $6.8 million to date (owner: Bill Clark, A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
The biggest disappointment of the season so far, though it has unlikely company…
15) A Good Year: $1.6 million, $6.4 million to date (Nights and Weekends)
We blame the Benny Hill bit for thoroughly confusing everyone as to what kind of movie this was trying to be. But anyone who wants to put Abbie Cornish in their next movie has our blessing.

Gone from the list: Harsh Times. (TSSU). Hmmm, maybe “Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror” was the way to go after all…

Current standings:
1) TSSU Productions: $130.6 million
2) Punch and Pie Pictures: $90.8 million
3) Nights and Weekends: $55.2 million
4) Seven Strangers Productions: $51.6 million
5) Reel Times Pictures: $42.3 million
6) Scary Clown Studios: $22.9 million
7) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $6.8 million
8) What’s All This, Then?: $390,000 (“Fast Food Nation,” limited release)

Next week: Scary Clown unleashes its best weapon in “Déjà Vu,” Punch and Pie release “Deck the Halls,” TSSU opens “Bobby” in wide release, and Seven Strangers cover both ends of the intelligence spectrum with “Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny” and “The Fountain.” The web site projects that “The Fountain” will make $48 million. Not a chance.

Action Movies, External Movies, Movie Comedies, Movie Dramas, Movies, News

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