Category: Movie Comedies (Page 181 of 195)

“I’ll be right here, honey. Watching you. Always.”

Tom Cruise plans to accompany his beloved, heterosexual wife Katie Holmes on set every day during the shooting of her new movie, according to recent reports.

In what will be her first film after becoming a new mom, Holmes will appear with Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah in “Mad Money,” a comedy about three women planning to steal from the Federal Reserve.

Informed that her beloved, heterosexual, not-remotely-overprotective husband had already phoned studio producers to let them know that they would be blessed with his presence during every moment of every scene to be shot every single day, Katie replied that it’s “amazing” to have such a dedicated, devoted husband. Then, almost imperceptibly, she mouthed the words, “Help me.”

Box Office Roundup: Nicolas Cage’s soul fetches $11 more than Eddie Murphy’s

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Ghost Rider: $44.5 million (owner: Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the steal of the first round. Taken with the ninth pick of the draft (two spots after this week’s fifth place finisher), Nicolas Cage shows that his ham still has some legs. Wow, was that a bad joke. Oh well, the movie didn’t deserve a better one.
2) Bridge to Terabithia: $22.1 million (Bill Clark, Norbit Will Tank)
Disney didn’t even screen this one for critics (well, they screened it for Cincinnati, but Columbus was skipped), and they still took home a very handsome sum of money. The news surely bodes well for Nights and Weekends, who took “Meet the Robinsons” with the first pick overall.
3) Norbit: $16.8 million, $58.8 million to date (owner: David Medsker, Republicans for Voldemort)
A 51% drop-off from last week, meaning that every other person who saw this movie on opening weekend told someone they should see it. Hey, check out the oceans! Are they turning red?
4) Music & Lyrics: $14 million, $19.5 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Gosh, are the ‘80s over…again?
5) Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls: $12.1 million, $17.8 million to date (Kevin Carr, But I Liked Lady in the Water)
No fat suit, no cash cow.
6) Breach: $10.3 million (Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
Hey, Chris Cooper’s back! What do you mean, who?
7) Hannibal Rising: $5.4 million, $22.1 million to date (owner: Kristin Dreyer Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
To give you some perspective on just how spectacular a fall this is for the “Hannibal” franchise, the 2001 sequel “Hannibal” made $58 million its opening weekend. This “Hannibal” won’t come within sniffing distance of that in its entire run. In other news, sales of Chianti have plummeted.

This week: Another super-crowded weekend, led by Jim Carrey’s the-numbers-are-evil thriller “The Number 23,” Billy Bob Thornton’s “The Astronaut Farmer,” “Reno 911!: Miami” and “Amazing Grace, which we couldn’t tell you a thing about.

Box Office Roudup: Eddie Murphy sells soul for $33.7 million

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Norbit: $33.7 million (owner: David Medsker, Republicans for Voldemort)
Several league members came up to me after the screening and said, “I hope you’re proud of yourself.” Bill Clark’s new studio name, “Norbit Will Tank,” has been reduced to wishful thinking.
2) Hannibal Rising: $13.3 million (owner: Kristin Dreyer Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
At last, we learn the awful truth: the Nazis are to blame for Hannibal Lecter. Sweet Jesus.
3) Because I Said So: $9 million, $25.6 million to date (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Kristin claims that the Diane Keaton character is a lot like her mother. I wanted to hug her after she told me that. Poor, poor girl.
4) The Messengers: $7.2 million$24.7 million to date (owner: Kevin Carr, But I Liked ‘Lady in the Water’)
Kevin’s fifth-round pick has racked up a phenomenal amount of money. My fifth-round pick, “Balls of Fury,” was moved to September.
5) Night at the Museum: $5.7 million, $232.1 million to date
This might be the worst top five in movie history.

This week: Rom-com goddess Drew Barrymore drops “Music & Lyrics,” and Chris Cooper makes a welcome return in the spy thriller “Breach.”

Bullz-Eye.com’s Directors Hall of Fame

One of the most repeated show-business punchlines of all time involves someone rich, powerful or famous being praised for their myriad of achievements, only to respond by saying, “Well, yes, but what I really want to do is direct.” It’s such a cliché, in fact, that you really can’t help but laugh when you hear it…and, yet, the ability to direct a good film is not something that comes naturally, nor is something that one can necessarily learn, even if they’ve worked in front of the camera for decades. An exemplary director has to be able to look at a scene and sense what’s going to work and what isn’t. They need to have their own style, their own vision, and the ability to present that vision to an audience in such a manner that, upon leaving the theater, they’ll say, “Oh, you could totally tell that was one of their films.”

As such, Bullz-Eye’s inaugural inductees into the Directors Hall of Fame are…ah, but that would be too easy.

First, at least try to guess which five directors were included by reading the following quotes:

1. “Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to and I see another movie I want to make.”
2. “Because of the movies I make, people get nervous, because they think of me as difficult and angry. I am difficult and angry, but they don’t expect a sense of humor. And the only thing that gets me through is a sense of humor.”
3. “I am a typed director. If I made ‘Cinderella,’ the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.”
4. “People call me a perfectionist, but I’m not. I’m a rightist. I do something until it’s right, and then I move on to the next thing.”
5. “I don’t need a happy ending. I feel much happier coming out of a movie like ‘Sid and Nancy’ than I do ‘Ghost’ or something.”

If you’ve given up, click here…and when you’re done reading the histories of the various inductees, don’t forget to come back here to offer your praise, complaints, or anything in-between…

Box Office Roundup: The rumors of the horror genre’s demise were greatly exaggerated

Let the Winter Fantasy League (COFCA Death Squad) begin. Kevin Carr’s “But I Liked Lady in the Water’” steps in for TSSU Productions, and two studios change names.

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) The Messengers: $14.5 million (owner: Kevin Carr, But I Liked ‘Lady in the Water’)
Kevin’s fifth round pick beats Will Harris’ third round pick. Ouch. Both movies, however, deserve to be beaten senseless.
2) Because I Said So: $13 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Did Michael Lehmann really “direct” this, or did he just herd the women like cats and let them run rampant while he filmed them?
3) Epic Movie: $8.2 million
And just like that, we are one step closer to the future that “Idiocracy” predicts.
4) Night at the Museum: $6.7 million, $225.3 million to date
Sweet Jesus, people. Have you no shame?
5) Smokin’ Aces: $6.3 million, $24.9 million to date
Does a movie really have a moral center if the movie’s sole moral act was completely meaningless?

This week: Eddie Murphy resumes his assault on good taste by donning a fat suit for a quick buck in “Norbit,” while Universal tries to make some money on this whole torture thing by making the needless “Hannibal Rising.”

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