Category: Horror Movies (Page 92 of 96)

“The Birds”: Now with 200% more explosions!

In yet another sign of the coming apocalypse, Cinematical has announced that Michael Bay intends to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s classic, “The Birds.”

Naomi Watts is rumored to be under consideration for the role originated by Tippi Hedren, and while Watts is more than capable of handling the job, we still can’t help wondering two things:

1. Which executive producer is going to tackle Bay’s inevitable question about “How do we get all these damn birds out of the movie?” and

2. What convoluted plot device (not to mention prickly negotiations with the ASPCA) will Bay employ in order to arrive at the film’s inevitable climactic moment involving thousands of birds falling from the sky while simultaneously exploding into glorious, blazing, feathered fireballs?

We’ve seen Hitchcock, Mr. Bay…and you, sir, are no Hitchcock.

Beauty and the Beast: Monsters and their Molls

Every year, when October rolls around, we here at Bullz-Eye start scrambling to come up with a Halloween-themed feature. Last year, we put together a list of our top-15 horror movies, and, sure, we could’ve done that again, but what would’ve been the point? Were there really any releases within the last year that would’ve changed our list? Granted, “The Descent” was creepy…but not top-15-of-all-time creepy. So we started thinking of other aspects of Halloween, and we kept coming back to the idea of doing something on monsters. But as we looked at our list of monsters, we – and by “we,” I mean the wife of one of our editors (hi, Jenn!) – noticed an interesting trend: Behind every good monster is a woman. Sometimes she loves him, sometimes she doesn’t…but if she doesn’t, well, hey, he’s a monster; that’s not going to stop him from loving her. So with that premise in mind, we’re presenting a list of our favorite monstrous men (and beasts) and their lovely ladies.

Here’s a sample…

Jason Voorhees and his Mother: The first love of a man’s life is invariably his mother, and unless you develop an Oedipus complex, that’s pretty normal. Too bad “normal” is about the last adjective you’d use to describe either Jason Voorhees or his mother, Pamela. If you’re a dedicated viewer of the “Friday the 13th” film series, you already know that Mrs. Voorhees had her problems; she was already suffering from schizophrenia before she gave birth to a hydrocephalic child…and when she thought he’d drowned off the shores of Camp Crystal Lake, well, that really sent her over the edge. Nine murders later — each done in Jason’s name, of course — Pamela got her just desserts in the form of decapitation; to be fair, though, it came courtesy of the machete she’d been wielding against an innocent girl only moments before. Jason – who, funnily enough, wasn’t actually dead after all (whoopsie!) – paid tribute to his late mother by taking both her head and her body to his shack in the woods, where he built a very lovely shrine/corpse storage area in her memory. It’s just what Pamela would have wanted. – WH

You can check out the entire list here.

Eddie Murphy, glutton for punishment


“Kill my agent. C-I-L-L my agent.”

Cinematical has announced that Eddie Murphy is set to star in a new science fiction comedy:

“Starship Dave” tells the story of a crew of miniature, human-looking aliens who are seeking a way to save their doomed planet. Murphy will play — wait for it — Dave, the human spacecraft they travel in an as well as the ship’s captain.

So, basically, we’re talking “Innerspace” meets “The Adventures of Pluto Nash,” here…not exactly a recipe for the resounding success that Murphy’s career could use right about now.

And, to be honest, we might perhaps have a wee soft spot for that 1987 flick starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short and Meg Ryan…but something tells us that won’t be nearly enough to keep “Starship Dave” from flaming out in spectacular fashion.

“Saw III”: torture chic goes too far?

I love the “Saw” movies in spite of myself. They tap into the true nature of horror in that it’s more about what they suggest than what they show, and that is why they are so repulsively exhilarating.

Well, for the first two movies, anyway.

I just received this clip of what is presumably the opening scene of “Saw III,” and it is without a doubt the most gruesome thing I’ve seen in years, even worse than the vile “Hostel.” But you tell me, are the “Saw” movies just kinky thrills, or have these torture chic movies officially crossed the line between entertainment and snuff? Watch the clip, if you dare, and tell me your thoughts.

Thursday the 19th doesn’t have the same ring to it…

…but if you missed the debut of the Starz network’s new documentary, “Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film,” on Friday the 13th, fear not: it’s being re-run at least three times during this month: 10/19, 10/29, and…what a shock…on Halloween.

If you enjoy the whole slasher genre, it’s really a fantastic look at a ton of different films…and, unlike so many of the more simplistic specials on VH-1, E!, or even Bravo, this digs really deep into the horror archives. It’s not just all about “Friday the 13th,” “Halloween,” and “Nightmare on Elm Street” (although, of course, it covers those films in detail), taking pains to detail some of the lesser classics – I wasn’t really familiar with “Happy Birthday to Me” or “Maniac,” and not only do I not remember “Terror Train,” but I was shocked to discover that Jamie Lee Curtis was the star of it – along with the blatant rip-offs and cheap flicks that came out in attempts to score a few bucks while the trend was hot. There’s considerable discussion about public outcry over the films, particularly when the Christmas-themed slasher flick, “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” emerged. The film concludes with a discussion about the revival of the slasher genre and how, unlike the old days, the new slasher flicks invariably have some major star attached to them. There are a ton of interviews, from stars (Betsy Palmer a.k.a. Mrs. Voorhees) to directors (Wes Craven, John Carpenter) to special-effects guys like Tom Savini; Rob Zombie also chimes in. Catch it if you can…but, seriously, if you don’t dig gore, stay far, far away.

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