…but now that Robin Williams has entered rehab for alcoholism, the question that remains unanswered is, how many drinks did it take for him to think that it was a good idea?”
Here’s a hint: we think he signed the contract several shots after he dressed himself for this photo:
Sit tight, American GIs overseas: Lindsay Lohan’s got your back. Or at least, so she says:
“I’ve been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long,” Lohan, 20, tells Elle magazine in its September issue, after she was asked if she had any big plans for next year. “Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous.”
She continues, “I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It’s so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who’s basically a pinup, which is what I’ve always aspired to be.”
Ahhh, good old Lindsay. None of that empowered feminist bullshit for her: “Make me a sex kitten, and do it now!” Kinda puts your heart right up there in your throat, doesn’t it, picturing a little freckle-faced eight-year-old Lindsay already dreaming of whale tails and push-up bras? It’s good for girls to have dreams.
Speaking of which, Lindsay may be well on her way to accomplishing this particular dream. James Robinson, the Morgan Creek Productions CEO who recently lambasted Lindsay for her shoddy attendance record while filming “Georgia Rule,” would no doubt be more than happy to purchase a one-way ticket to Baghdad for Lindsay. All she’s gotta do is ask.
In a quote that is certain to keep her phone from ringing for the next several months, Paris Hilton claims to have only ever had sex with two men in her life, and has pledged to remain celibate for an entire year:
Hilton, 25, says, “I’m not having sex for a year. I’ve decided. … I’ll kiss, but nothing else.”
For that matter, the star reveals that she’s only ever had sex with two men in her entire life. “The reason so many of my relationships don’t work is guys are like, ‘Hey what’s going on? It’s been like four months and I’m only getting a kiss here,’ ” she says.
When it comes to chastity, says Hilton, “I feel good about it. I like the way guys go crazy when they can’t have sex with you.”
Yeah, we’re pretty sure the guys dig that, too…
So, you be the judge: In making these outrageous statements, is Paris:
a) Lying through her teeth, in a belated attempt to clean up her reputation;
b) Indulging in an ill-advised bout of optimism, selective memory loss and/or wishful thinking; or
c) Demonstrating her confusion between the words “celibate” and “celebrate,” and failing to clarify that she only ever has sex with two men at the same time…in which case her phone will in fact begin ringing off the hook.
Aligning himself firmly with the anti-Mel-Gibson camp, former Saturday Night Live star Rob Schneider has taken out a full-page ad in “Variety” condemning Gibson for his anti-Semitic comments and pledging never to work with Gibson in the future, even if Gibson were to “offer [him] the lead role in ‘Passion of the Christ 2.’”
Of course, Schneider’s comments presuppose that Gibson ever had any intention of working with him on any movie projects of any kind at any point in the future…which seems an iffy prospect at best, given their respective resumes.
In fact, when informed of Schneider’s printed attack in “Variety,” Gibson responded, “Rob who?”
“Road House” and “Dirty Dancing” star Patrick Swayze has leapt to the aid of embattled DUI sugar-tit fetishist Mel Gibson, calling him a “wonderful human being” who simply did something stupid:
Swayze, 53, downplayed his friend’s drunken outburst, telling GMTV that “people say stupid things when they happen to have a few, and especially if you don’t drink any more, or have limited your drinking for a long time and all of a sudden you decide to have one too many with the boys – you are stupid.”
Swayze, who is starring in the West End production of “Guys and Dolls,” said the incident certainly would not end Gibson’s career.
“When you are a pit bull, and you love what you do and you are going to continue to grow, that talent will find its way out,” Swayze said.
Following the subsequent outrage from the American Pit Bull Owners Association, who decried Swayze’s unnecessary and unwarranted denigration of their favorite breed of dog, Swayze retracted his comments and reached out to the pit-bull-owning community for forgiveness.
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