Category: External TV (Page 414 of 419)

Yes, I’m here to audition for “Word to Your Mother: The Vanilla Ice Story”

I felt like I was going to fall asleep halfway through tonight’s episode, Ari had very little screen time, and we haven’t seen Sloan now for at least two or three weeks…and yet, this was one of the season’s best episodes. Bar none.

I mean, come on, Vince hooks up with a chick he meets at a bookstore only to find out, while they’re naked in bed, that she’s getting married. But, hey, it’s cool because he’s on her “list.” You know, the “celebrities we’re allowed to bang” list that some people make with their significant others but very few actually have a chance to cash in on. Well this chick did and, I’m sorry, but that’s just fucking sweet. “Friends” did a list episode once upon a time but, even though Ross actually met one of his freebie celebs (Isabella Rossellini), you knew nothing would ever come of their lists. Not so on “Entourage,” though. For once, we get to see someone’s list in action, and the fact that we only found out about it after the fact made the payoff that much sweeter.

There is a lesson to be learned here, kids: If you live in L.A., you’d be wise to choose the names on your freebie list very carefully, because you never know when you’re going to bump into one of your choices at a bookstore. That and, while you may think you’re hot shit when you’re taking Sundance by storm or starring in your own summer blockbuster, you haven’t officially arrived until you’ve been listed by a soon-to-be-married hottie in the middle of the afternoon.

But that wasn’t the highlight of the episode. For the second week in a row, that honor goes to Johnny Drama. While his little brother was getting listed in one hotel room, Drama was getting Vanilla Iced in another hotel room. Watching that dude hang Drama over the balcony by his heels, a la Suge Knight, was priceless and will probably go down as one of the most memorable moments in the series’ history, especially since one of the guys recognized Drama from “Viking Quest.” Of course, the downside here is that Turtle’s career as a manager appears to be over before it really started but, hey, at least he got his $40,000, right?

Of course, the most significant development tonight was E stumbling upon what could turn into the signature role of Vince’s young career. For a while, that title seemed to be reserved for the lead in “Medellin” as Pablo Escobar, but playing Joey Ramone in “I Wanna Be Sedated” should jumpstart Vince’s suddenly cold career. The writing this season has been pretty damn good, despite some hiccups, and while the story stalled a bit early on (does anybody miss Dom?), they’ve set this up beautifully for a great final two episodes. Having Vince play Joey Ramone is a brilliant move, and doing it after he got booted from “Aquaman 2” and shutout of “Medellin” was even better. Maybe there’s an Oscar nod in Vince’s near future after all.

Thank God for the MTV Video Music Awards

If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t even realize that MTV still showed videos.

Okay, sorry, I always feel obliged to take a shot at the decidedly non-music-oriented programming of the network. Now that that’s out of the way, just in case you were losing sleep over the fact that the Video Music Awards are only three weeks away and MTV still hasn’t announced who’s going to be hosting the festivities, prepare to have your insomnia cured.

If you can’t be bothered to click on the above link, I’ll satisfy your curiosity. The host will be…this man:

Oh, no, wait, I’m sorry, that’s just my opinion of the Awards for the last decade or so…

Can you say “shameless plug”?

Wow. What an incredibly insignificant hour of television, but since there’s still two more weeks before the big season finale (plenty of time to wrap up all existing subplots and start a few new ones), Episode Ten is often considered a freebie for the writers to pretty much do whatever they want. HBO’s “Entourage” did the same this week with the pointless (but fun) Vegas trip, and “Rescue Me” follows suit with an entire hour dedicated to Tommy reminiscing about his job as a firefighter.

Nothing else exciting really happens. Sheila buys Tommy a new Cadillac pickup truck, only to get stolen from him within twenty minutes. Probie turns in his transfer form, only for Tommy to spread gay rumors to all the other firehouses. Janet and Tommy meet to talk about the baby, but no one knows whose it is. And Franco is given the boot by his girlfriend when her retarded brother gets loose on the town; an obvious ploy by the guy to “keep” his sister all to himself. Tommy also managed to guzzle $200 worth of whiskey without paying a single dime at the end of the episode. How? By telling war stories about his years with the FDNY, of course, not to mention a couple sob stories about 9/11 and a full disclosure of his personal problems. Oh, and in case you were wondering, “World Trade Center” opens tomorrow. What, you didn’t get a chance to see the special promo? Here it is again, just in case you missed it. Ugh.

Remedy for a damaged rep? Brawl at a stripper contest.

The demolition of Vince’s reputation continued this week, and man, was it fun to watch. With a company offering Vinnie $100,000 to “just attend their party” in Vegas, the boys head to Sin City for a wild weekend. Well, everyone except Drama, who tags along only so he can hook up with his favorite masseuse, Ken. With his pilot scheduled to begin filming soon, Drama insists that he needs a quiet, relaxing weekend with no distractions. On their way out of town, the boys convince Ari to join them (though he swears to his wife that he was kidnapped). The stage is officially set.

Speaking of stages, turns out Vince has to do more than just make an appearance at this party. Apparently, Turtle signed him up to be a judge for the “Queen of the Strip” beauty contest, which, we learn, is less a beauty contest and more a stripper contest. As Turtle points out, that would seem to be a good development, only E and Ari are worried that Vince sitting in on a stripper contest will only further damage his already wounded image. Fair point, but Vince can’t back out now…he already blew the money they gave him at the blackjack table, much to Ari’s chagrin, since he agreed to partner up with Vince for the weekend, splitting winnings (and losses) evenly.

A few scenes later, it’s worse, with Ari and Vince now down more than $200k apiece. There was no official Ari Moment this week because he spent most of the episode spittin’ fire at the tables, cursing out dealers and fellow players as he watched his cash get sucked down the drain with each hand. He even took a couple shots at Seth Green, who was in town with his own entourage and, whenever possible, ribbing E about Sloan. The guys assume that Seth’s been with Sloan, which gets E all riled up. Meanwhile, Drama’s getting exactly what he wanted out of his weekend: he’s loose, limber and feeling fine after an afternoon with Ken. He’s also sending poor confused Ken, an ex-NFL receiver, mixed signals, and when Ken winds up naked in Drama’s bed, Drama snaps, leaves the room and heads for the stripper contest. Just in time, as it turns out, because Seth won’t drop the Sloan issue and E snaps too, only when the shit hits the fan, an amped-up Drama is the one who throws the first punch, knocking one of Seth’s boys to the ground while Turtle takes another and Eric drops Seth. That ought to help repair Vinnie’s rep, huh?

Sorry for the fifth-grade plot summary this week, but there’s not much to analyze. It was definitely a fun episode to watch, but not a great one to blog about. The best scene had to be the final hand of blackjack, where Vince split 8s, splits again when he got an 8 on the first draw and, after drawing a 10 and a 9, doubles down on an 11 with his third 8. With $300k on the table, half of which is Ari’s, Vince is staring at an 18, 17 and (gulp) 14, all of which has Ari worked up beyond belief. The guy next to Vince (one of the Bobs from “Office Space”) splits his kings (huh?), which of course knocks Ari completely off his rocker (“Sir, you have to let him play his way,” the dealer says. “Well he’s playing like a fucking idiot,” Ari responds), but, no problem, the dealer still busts. Vince and Ari are back in the black and all is well.

The only lasting effect from this episode is, of course, the brawl with Seth Green’s crew. Will it actually make things worse for Vince, or will it blow over? I say it all blows over and this episode, while fun to watch, will essentially go down as a throwaway. With only three weeks left in the season, though, I wouldn’t expect many more throwaways.

We all fall down… again

Following two weeks of excellent, best-of worthy material, the writing team behind “Rescue Me” is going to have a helluva time outdoing themselves any time soon. Tonight’s episode is proof of that. After opening with a killer scene involving the Ladder 62 crew responding to an apartment fire (caused by a heat lamp burning the tenant’s marijuana plants) and watching Garrity and Probie get high off the fumes, the rest of the hour was littered with nothing more than a few slow-progressing subplots to help pass the time.

For one, Probie’s haphazard homosexual experiment is officially out of the bag, and while most of the guys aren’t exactly sure how to take it, Tommy feigns empathy in order to keep his crew together. It’s not going to be as easy as he thinks, however, with Franco taking the lieutenant’s exam and Lou contemplating moving down to Florida to work for his brother’s boating company. Also, now that Garrity is marrying Maggie, Tommy can’t stand hanging out with the guy because he constantly refers to him as his brother; even going so far as to change his firefighter trench coat to read “Gavin.” To counter this, Sheila pleads Tommy to quit and move away with her to a house on the beach, using her widow money from 9/11 as a means of income. Apparently, she’s managed to save up over $1 million (thank you, interest) just by letting the cash sit in the bank for five years.

This probably isn’t going to happen – since no firefighters means no show – but I’m still rooting for Sheila to win him over in the end. This might be a little easier now that Tommy’s discovered Janet is pregnant (courtesy of older brother Johnny), unless, of course, it’s his baby, which we all know is going to be the case. Oh well, at least the show had a few good weeks to deliver before the wheels on this train wreck were set into motion.

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