Category: External TV (Page 318 of 419)

Scare of the Day: “Count Dracula”

Heaven (or Hell) knows that the Gothic horror tale of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” has been told about a zillion times over the years, often with considerable liberties taken with both the novel as well as its titular character; in fact, it’s been changed so many times over the years that one might get the idea that doing an adaptation that’s more or less faithful to the Stoker text isn’t worth doing. In 1977, however, the ever-diligent BBC produced a version – entitled “Count Dracula” – that, in addition to being one of the most precise transitions from novel to screen, is a pretty damned good viewing experience all around.

Here, the Count is played by Louis Jordan, who, even with credits on his lengthy resume which range from “Gigi” to “Octopussy,” will always be most fondly remembered by this writer for his villainous turn in “Swamp Thing” (and, to a decidedly lesser extent, “The Return of Swamp Thing”). Your mileage may vary as to your opinions on how he plays the role of Dracula, but I was entertained by the vaguely smug manner in which he reacted to those persons reacting to him. Other actors of note who appear in the production are Frank Finlay (he played Porthos in a trio of “Musketeers” films) as Professor Van Helsing, and Judi Bowker (she was Princess Andromeda in “Clash of the Titans”) as Mina Westenra.

The production bounces back and forth between film and video, like most BBC productions, but given that there’s decidedly no shortage of real castles in the UK, it looks quite authentic more often than not. Director Philip Saville (“Mandela,” “Metroland”) opts to utilize a film-negative effect when Count Dracula is feeding, with an additional amount of red around the eyes; it looks a mite cheesy nowadays, but not in, say, a mid-’70s “Doctor Who” way. (In other words, you see what he was going for and learn to accept it pretty quickly.) There are some surprisingly disconcerting moments throughout the proceedings, the most notable of the bunch being when the Brides of Dracula are clearly shown to be feeding on the blood of a baby; apparently, the scene was excised from various rebroadcasts over the years, but it’s intact on this DVD release. It’s also an inexpensive but effectively creepy moment when we see Dracula crawling down the wall of his castle, a scene which apparently had never been included in an adaptation of the novel before.

Given that it is an impressively faithful adaptation of the Stoker novel, “Count Dracula” can get a bit slow at times, but all told, I’d personally pick this over Francis Ford Coppolla’s version.

Friday Night Lights: “The Last Days of Summer”

When last we left them, the Dillon Panthers had won state and Coach Taylor was considering a move to Austin to coach for TMU. I thought that last season’s finale was buttoned up a little too cleanly with the Panthers winning the state championship; it might have been better had the team fallen short in their quest for the title, but that decision might have had something to do with the tenuous footing that the series was on last season.

NBC decided to move the show to Fridays, which an interesting marketing ploy, but one has to wonder, aren’t the people that would be most likely to watch a show about high school football out watching high school football on Friday nights? Friday isn’t a very good night for television, but let’s hope that the word of mouth surrounding the series gives it a much-needed boost in the ratings.

Anyway, Coach Taylor decided to take the TMU job and his absence is causing Julie to act out. She’s flirting with “the Swede” at the pool and it’s causing tension in her relationship with Matt. She called Matt “perfect” yet she’s concerned about how easily they could turn into her parents. “There has to be more than this,” she said. I thought Coach had some great advice for Matt after he found out that his daughter was flirting with the Swede: “Don’t just stand by and let it happen.”

Meanwhile, Tami wasn’t nearly as sassy as usual, but that probably has to do with the fact that she just gave birth and she’s having a tough time dealing with her husband being gone for months at a time. She made her own bed, however, by putting her foot down and deciding to stay in Dillon instead of moving to Austin with Eric. That’s good for us though; if the Taylors had moved, there really wouldn’t be a show.

The episode’s most dramatic moments stemmed from the surprising Landry/Tyra/stalker storyline. The same guy attacked her last season, but the whole series of incidents in the premiere sort of came out of nowhere. Anyway, Landry’s unrequited love is charming and it looks like the two will have a strong connection going forward, for better or for worse.

One of the great things about “Friday Night Lights” is the realism in the conversations between the different teenagers on the show. This isn’t “Dawson’s Creek,” where the kids talk like college professors. These high schoolers talk like high schoolers; they stammer and step on each other’s words, just like real kids do. I could listen to Matt and Landry philosophize all day. The whole “WWRD” (What Would Riggins Do?) bit was hilarious.

Speaking of Riggins, he’s been up to no good all summer, boozing it up and sleeping around. He had a great line when the newly religious Lyla asked him what he’s been doing recently. He replied, “I had a three-way with the Stratton sisters.” There appears to be a Lyla/Riggins storyline brewing – it looks like Lyla might have her newfound faith tested by her attraction to Tim.

Lyla also had a great line when she said a prayer before dinner – “And please let other people at this table have the strength to realize that a mother of three should not be wearing skinny jeans.”

Going forward, it looks like conflict abounds. Coach Taylor will struggle with his decision to leave Dillon, Matt’s jealousy of Smash’s increasing profile could cause issues between the two while Riggins clearly has a personality conflict with the new coach. “Friday Night Lights” is great because the characters are so distinct and they each have their own crap to deal with. Moreover, it’s a small town, so everything intertwines eventually.

The big question is, when and how will Coach Taylor return to Dillon for good? Is this something that’s going to happen mid-season, or will he coach for TMU for an entire year?

Scare of the Day: “Ice Spiders”

As God is my witness, I don’t know how anyone could screw up any film with a description like this one:

“At a secret mountain-top government lab, a visionary scientist breeds giant spiders in order to use their super-strong silk to make lightweight body armor and new weapons. Suddenly, the aggressive spiders escape, invading a nearby ski resort and embarking on a killing spree among the guests and staff. Now, it’s up to the mad scientist’s colleague and a former star skier to take control of the chaos…before the entire resort is leveled!

There’s only one word for this premise: GENIUS.

Unfortunately, if there’s any sort of Giant Spiders Union, then I’d recommend that a designated representative from the organization hightail it over to Sony to protest the God-awful acting in “Ice Spiders.” While I realize that you come to expect a certain level of badness in any Sci-Fi Channel original film, it’s so bad here that, for the first 40 minutes of the movie, I was convinced that there hadn’t been such a waste of giant spiders in a feature-length film since…well, truth be told, I think you’d have to go all the way back to the 1975 Alan Hale, Jr. vehicle, “The Giant Spider Invasion.” (If you’ve never seen it, surf immediately over to the online store of your choice and place an order for “The ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ Collection, Volume 10” right this minute.)

I was never a “Melrose Place” devotee, but I’m led to understand that it’s a vaguely big deal that “Ice Spiders” manages to reunite three of the series’ stars: Thomas Calabro (Dr. Michael Mancini), Patrick Muldoon (Richard Hart), and Vanessa Williams (Rhonda Blair). Calabro does well enough as the leader of the commando unit that’s trying to stop the spiders, but Williams is completely out of her element as a geneticist, and Muldoon turns in such an absolutely awful performance as a former championship skier that you can’t even believe that he’s a professional actor.

Giant spiders and “Melrose Place” fans won’t be the only ones let down by this film. Anyone who spots the DreadCentral.com blurb on the front cover of the DVD and thinks to themselves, “Wow, I didn’t even know I wanted to see a see a film that’s a cross between ‘Eight Legged Freaks’ and ‘Hot Dog: The Movie,’ but now I realize that my life won’t be complete until I do,” should get ready for profound disappointment. This is in no way a comedy. Like 99% of all Sci-Fi Channel original movies, “Ice Spiders” takes itself way more seriously than its budget or performances can stand. It’s a movie about giant spiders, people. There’s only one person in the film who seems to know how to treat the material, and that’s David Millbern, who plays the role of a not-evil-just-misguided scientist like he’s doing a Will Arnett impression, and his delivery is right on the money.

To be fair, the skittering of the obviously-CGI spiders makes for fun viewing, and when our eight-legged friends have the run of the film, you remember that, yes, there was once potential for this movie. Okay, so a film directed by the man who brought you “Mansquito” and “Killer Rats” was never going to be as good as the premise of “Ice Spiders” deserved.

But, dammit, I had such hopes…

By the way, in lieu of a trailer, here’s a clip from the TV Guide Channel where they do an Action Figure Reenactment of a scene from the film. It’s more entertaining than the film itself, but mostly because they repeatedly display that they don’t know a single thing about the movie by inaccurately referring to Vanessa Williams as being the former Miss America and the co-star of “Ugly Betty” when, in fact, it’s the other Vanessa Williams who’s in this:

Second Episode Spectacular!

Wow, y’know, I didn’t realize this whole Scare of the Day feature would keep me quite as busy as it has; I’ve only just had the chance to play a little catch-up and watch the second episodes of a couple of this season’s new shows. Here are my thoughts on a couple of the series and how they’re doing…

Reaper – Episode 2 started off with a little too much in the way of shenanigans from the poor man’s Jack Black (my buddy Jim Washington feels certain that that’s how poor Tyler Labine is gonna get labeled, and it’s hard to argue based on the way they portray his character, Sock, during the first quarter of the show this week), but, thankfully, things got back on track once Sam finally got around to starting the hunt for his latest soul. I was disappointed with the way Sam’s mom’s mood changed so dramatically from the pilot and got more upbeat, since it seemed like the darkness pervading her could make for more drama, but the soul recovery was just as enjoyable this time as last, and, of course, Ray Wise continues his reign of awesomeness. In short, I’m still digging it and continue to look forward to more.

Dirty Sexy Money – I think it’s more of a guilty pleasure, but I’m digging this show just as much now as I did in the pilot. It’s got that nighttime soap feel even as it clearly wants to poke fun as the character types that are its primary focus. I particularly enjoyed the beginning sequence which clarified the profound differences between the lives of Nick George and Tripp Darling (the characters played by Peter Krause and Donald Sutherland, respectively). It seems as though it could get a little old if it’s gonna be a weekly occurrence that Nick’s wife is gonna keep harping on about the fact that “this isn’t part of your job description” and “your dad wasted his life on these people, don’t you waste yours as well,” but what can I say? It’s fun watching the obvious parodies of the Hilton siblings, I’m curious to see where they take the storyline of Patrick and his transsexual “mistress,” and, thankfully, they’re clearly steering the mystery of who killed Nick’s dad away from the family. (I was already fearing that that had the potential to be a dead end for the series.) It’s over the top at times to be sure, but with Bryan Singer as a producer for the show, at least you can be confident that it’s over the top with a wink at the audience.

Bionic Woman – I may have watched the whole episode, but I mentally tuned out at the moment Jaime’s sister called her and asked her where her Tenacious D t-shirt was. Remember what I said about how the sister felt less like a character and more like a demographic-satisfying creation? At this point, I couldn’t feel more confident about that declaration. Otherwise, even with the addition of Isaiah Washington to the mix, Episode 2 was pretty shrug-worthy. Damn, I’m glad I started with the backpedaling when I did; otherwise, my face would be pretty damned red right about now.

Scare of the Day: “Poltergeist II: The Other Side” / “Poltergeist III”

I hadn’t really intended to focus on films that weren’t currently sitting in my “To Review” pile during the Scare of the Day feature, but given that last night found my wife and I attending a 25th-anniversary screening of “Poltergeist,” it seemed like an appropriate time to revisit that film’s two sequels, which were released as a 2-fer DVD a few years back.

I’ll go into this in more detail when I do a full review of the “Poltergeist” DVD reissue, but, for the purposes of this column, let me just say that, despite having seen the movie probably two dozen times over the course of the last two and a half decades, last night was the first time I’d ever seen the film in a theater. As such, it was the first time I’d really appreciated it as something other than just a string of scary moments and special effect sequences. Oh, it’s still a damned creepy film (even if the face-ripping scene seemed a lot creepier 25 years ago), but I’d never realized that it owes its effectiveness to the fact that it takes its time building an emotional core; by not feeling rushed, you’re given the opportunity to actually care for the characters…and that’s something neither of the film’s sequels allow for.

Given the success of the original film, it was pretty much a given that there’d be a sequel, and the good news was that Jobeth Williams (Diane), Craig T. Nelson (Steven), Heather O’Rourke (Carol Anne), Oliver Robins (Robbie), and Zelda Rubenstein (Tangina Barrons, medium at large) would all be returning for the flick. (Actress Dominique Dunne, who played Dana, was strangled to death by her boyfriend not long after the original film was released.) Although it’s great to see all of the old faces again, the bad news was that producer Steven Spielberg wasn’t constantly hanging around the set this time to help mold things into shape….and it shows.

Funnily enough, I remember really loving the film when it was first released, back in 1986. (Guaranteed, I was in the theater on opening weekend.) Looking at it now, though, it’s obvious that people were sitting on the sidelines, saying, “Okay, so what worked in the first film, and what’s the bare minimum that we can tweak it so that we can re-use it in the second film?” Perhaps that’s phrasing it a bit cynically, but, in particular, the moments of playful romance between Steven and Diane and sibling bickering between Carol Anne and Robbie which were cute and natural in the original feel utterly forced here.

The Freeling family has left Costa Verde and moved in with Diane’s mother (Geraldine Fitzgerald), but that ultimately only serves as a plot device, so that we can meet Carol Anne’s grandma, have her die, and then have Carol Anne use her gifts to speak with her from beyond the grave, and Grandma’s death occurs so abruptly – albeit quietly, no doubt because a lot of kids watched “Poltergeist” on HBO and had their allowance all ready to spend on the sequel – that there’s no virtually no emotional heft to it. There’s a subplot involving an Indian mystic (Will Sampson), but he’s all cliche, so, again, he feels like a plot device, too.

In fact, there’s only one character in this film who succeeds, and that’s why he’s the only thing you remember about this film…and why he’s over at the right, even as you read this line, screaming, “You’re gonna die in hell! All of you! You are gonna die!

Yeah, the Freeling family really had it bad. Not only was their house built on top of a cemetery, but the cemetery was built on top of a massive underground cavern that, in the 1800s, became the final resting place of a Utopian cult led by Rev. Henry Kane (Julian Beck). Kane had assured his followers that the world was going to end, so he buried both them and himself in the cavern to wait for it; unfortunately, his prophecy didn’t come to pass, and everyone died screaming in the bowels of the earth, trying desperately to claw their way out. Being little more than a bunch of lemmings, however, Kane’s followers still clung to his every move, and the whole bunch of them were still trying to find their way to the afterlife…and it seems that only a little blond-haired angel named Carol Anne can help them.

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