…but I watched the premiere episode of “Gone Country” and got pulled in. And we’re talking the “hook, line, and sinker” kind of “pulled in,” the kind that has you popped into the control panel on your TiVo to set up a season pass.
Actually, I guess it’s not that surprising. When it comes right down to it, I tend to be a sucker for any show which features celebrities in a significant capacity, as long as it meets three caveats:
1. The premise has to be an interesting one.
2. The execution of the premise has to be done with a certain amount of humor.
3. I have to actually give a flying flip about the show’s celebrities.
“Gone Country ” meets all three criteria handily. The show takes six disparate musical artists, sticks them in a house together, and has them all go through a rigorous reinvention into the country lifestyle, culminating with one of them getting to release a country single produced by host John Rich (of Big & Rich fame). It’s an idea which – based on the first episode, at least – seems set to pay off far more handsomely than, say, MTV’s craptastic “Celebrity Rap Superstars.” But, then, this series comes from the same people who brought you “The Surreal Life” (like you didn’t already notice some similarities between that show and this one), so it’s already got a considerable leg up.
The artists who’ve signed up for this endeavor are Julio Iglesias, Jr., Carnie Wilson (of Wilson Phillips fame), Diana DeGarmo (“American Idol”), Maureen McCormick (known predominantly for playing Marcia on “The Brady Bunch”), Sis’Qo (who isn’t just about “The Thong Song,” goddammit), Dee Snider (of Twisted Sister), and…wait for it…Bobby Brown. And believe me, the rest of the cast is just as shocked to see Bobby arrive as you were to read his name, but mark my words: no matter how he places in the competition, he’ll come out of this show smelling a damned sight sweeter than Whitney Houston. Savvy move, sir. Very savvy, indeed.
I really don’t know anything about John Rich, but when I saw him arrive at his home – known as the Plowboy Mansion – by helicopter, then to see him disembark from the vehicle whilst wearing a pimp-daddy fur coat, I thought, “Jesus H. Christmas, this guy has got to be a complete asshole.” But, no, he turned out to be a downright sweet guy, talking up the contestants, making them feel comfortable about being in the competition and cheering them on…even despite Dee Snider saying outright that he hates country music. (Rich’s after-the-fact reaction: “I thought, ‘Are you an idiot?'”)
On first assessment, I’m leaning toward thinking that Dee could take this competition, if only because he could be spotting strolling around the place, strumming his guitar and singing country-inspired songs about mundane things like finding the coffee. (The man’s a hardcore caffeine addict, by the way.) I know, it seems like Diana would be a lock, since she’s already proven on “AI” that she can bounce from genre to genre when the need arises, but, still, she’s right up with Maureen for having the least experience as a professional singer. Speaking of Maureen, Dee suggests at one point that she might need to be medicated, and you can see why; she’s enthusiastic to a fault, raving about everything from the snacks to the bedsheets, and bursts into tears from sheer happiness at one point. But she quickly forms a nicotine-related bond with Bobby, resulting in a surprising friendship from the word “go.” Julio doesn’t make much of an impression, so quiet is he, which makes Carnie his polar opposite, as it often feels as though she’s uncomfortable with the concept of silence. And Sis’Qo…? Well, he’s personable enough, but he’s got a hard road ahead of him to not be “the ‘Thong Song’ dude.”
“Gone Country” is silly fun, but there’s one point toward the end where you can actually kind of empathize with the contestants. The producers have gone through and asked people on the street in Nashville their thoughts about the possibility of these various artists trying their hand at country…and they’re fucking brutal. Some of the cast try to laugh off the comments, but it’s still gotta hurt to hear someone say, “Oh, no, they’re going to be AWFUL!”
Car wreck TV? No, it’s a level above that. If you’re a music fan, there’s something interesting about the idea of watching people test their abilities, find their strengths and weaknesses, and see what they can come up with. I ain’t saying I’m gonna buy the single from whoever wins this thing, but I’ll be there to find out who takes home the glory.
