Category: External Movie DVDs (Page 63 of 74)

It’s no wonder “The Burning” got greenlit. I mean, c’mon, think about it: it’s 1981, and somebody offers you an uber-gory slasher film that takes place in a summer camp…? Hel-lo, “Friday the 13th”-sized box office! You know the studio execs’ eyeballs were turning into dollar signs and popping about six inches out of their sockets, like something straight out of a Tex Avery cartoon.

Well, clearly, the flick never hit the heights the Weinsteins might’ve hoped, which is a shame, since I’d like to think that, had it been a success, we’d’ve been the recipients of sequels with titles like “Still Burning After All These Years,” “The Burn Goes On,” “Once Bitten, Twice Burnt,” and…um, wait, hang on, I’ve got more. (Editor’s note: Actually, that’s quite enough, thanks.) But even without setting the box office on fire – and can I get a high-five for that one? – “The Burning” has still maintained a cult following over the years, resulting in this special-featured-laden DVD release, which includes audio commentary as well as a new retrospective documentary.

The opening minutes of “The Burning” set the stage for the rest of the film. A bunch of campers decide to get even with the camp’s particularly obnoxious caretaker nicknamed Cropsy – something to do with his omnipresent garden shears, apparently – by trying to scare the living shit out of him, so they place a skull candle on his nightstand while he’s sleeping, light it, then wake him abruptly. Unfortunately, he’s so scared that he knocks the candle onto his bed, sets his blanket and himself afire, and ends up going up in flames, running through the woods and jumping into the river to extinguish himself. Understandably, he’s a little bitter about this, especially when it turns out that the burns are so bad that he can’t even get skin grafts, so upon his release from the hospital, it’s off to extract revenge on the camp. He can’t even be bothered to find the campers responsible; it’s just, like, “Okay, anybody at the camp will do.”

You have to admire the restraint on the part of the folks at Fox for not making note anywhere on the DVD box that “The Burning” features Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens, and even a very young Jason Alexander amongst its cast…the latter with a full head of curly hair, no less. (If you’ve ever headed over to YouTube and watched Alexander extol the merits of McDonald’s McDLT…and if you haven’t, now’s your chance…this movie was filmed right around the same time, maybe even a few years earlier.) Stevens, who looks like he’s about 12 years old, even bares his buttocks for the camera, God love him, bending so far over that only careful camera positioning saves us from getting a good shot of his nut sac.

Wondering about the gore level? Well, there’s a really nasty scissor stab to the stomach immediately following the credits, but after that, there are more fake-outs than you can shake a sharp stick at. You needn’t worry, though: special effects master Tom Savini more than makes up for lost time during the last 45 minutes or so, particularly during the infamous “raft massacre” scene. But even with all the stabbing and the cutting and the “please, oh, God, please don’t,” there’s something rather…quaint about “The Burning.” Sure, it might’ve been…oh, shit, never mind, there ain’t no “might’ve been” about it: it is a “Friday the 13th” knock-off! And, yet, given all the dreck today that’s supposed to pass for horror, there’s something refreshing about a film that features a long, lingering shot on one of the female campers taking an extra-soapy shower. Damned refreshing. Oh, and then there’s the full-frontal skinny-dipping scene. Mmmmmmmm…

Sorry, where was I?

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Welcome back to the wonderful world of Roger Corman, where today we take a look at one of his greatest creative successes: 1959’s “A Bucket of Blood,” starring Dick Miller.

Walter (Miller) is a tad on the slow side, working as a bus boy in a beatnik club to make ends meet while forever dreaming of being an artist himself; he rents a room from an old woman, but he otherwise lives a solitary existence. A transitional moment occurs in his life, however, when his landlady’s cat accidentally gets caught in the apartment wall. Walter tries to help the cat escape by thrusting his knife into the wall to cut a hole in the plaster…but, unfortunately, his aim proves a bit too precise, and with his one, quick motion, he realizes that he’s stabbed the cat dead! (The dark humor of Walter’s horrified query after he hears the cat’s abrupt squawk – “You alright, Frankie?” – is straight out of a Farrelly Brothers movie…well, one of the earlier, funnier ones, anyway.)

Taking life’s lemons and making them into lemonade, Walter proceeds to wrap the kitty corpse in clay, knife and all, and is pleasantly surprised to find that his work is praised by the patrons of the club. Unfortunately, he impresses one woman so much that she gives him the gift that keeps on giving – that’s heroin, baby! – and the “transaction,” as it were, is witnessed by an undercover cop. Frantic to escape from the clutches of the law, Walter hits the cop over the head with a frying pan and, voila, he’s got a new piece of art on his hands: “Murdered Man.”

Beatnik #1: Hey, that’s a pretty far-out name for a statue!
Beatnik #2: I saw a statue once. It was called, “The Third Time Phyllis Saw Me, She Exploded.”
Beatnik #1: Man, what kind of a statue was that?
Beatnik #2: I don’t know, but it was made out of driftwood and dripped in fluoric acid. It was very wild.

And, yes, that really is dialogue from the film.

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