…American Idol host Ryan Seacrest was recently spotted sucking face with Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher:
Could this be another “let’s put those gay rumors to rest once and for all” publicity stunt (Tom Cruise, we’re looking in your direction)…or is Ryan just a poor, misunderstood metrosexual with an unfortunate addiction to hair-care products?
Only time will tell.
Veering dangerously close to a “Will & Grace”-style special guest star overdose, the creators of “Desperate Housewives” follow up their recent Carol Burnett announcement (not to mention recent appearances by Adrian Pasdar, Jane Lynch and Wallace Shawn) with news that former “My So-Called Life” teen heartthrob Jared Leto will appear in a four-episode arc as a sexy grocery-store worker who catches Gabrielle’s eye.
Well, since Leto is pushing thirty-five these days, at least we can assume that Gabby’s days as a statutory rapist are behind her for good. And who knows? With his last decent movie role (in “Requiem for a Dream;” rent it on a night when you won’t mind suffering a little Post Traumatic Stress Disorder afterwards) six long years behind him, maybe Leto is testing the water for a return to series TV, if the right project comes along. After all, it’s a far cushier gig than playing bitch to both Colin Farrell and Oliver Stone in the same movie.
Of course, Leto is already getting great press for the yet-to-be-released flick “Chapter 27,” in which he followed the George Clooney/Robert De Niro “Eating for Oscars” diet, so I wouldn’t hold my breath looking for Leto to turn up as Joey Tribbiani’s kooky new roommate. Plus, if that whole acting thing doesn’t work out, he’s always got his career as a so-called rock star, as founding member of 30 Seconds to Mars.
Dammit, Jordan Catalano, why must you keep on breaking our hearts?
In what is certain to be delightful scenery-chewing fun, Carol Burnett has signed on to play the Evil Stepmother of America’s favorite high-strung alcoholic widow, Bree Van de Kamp.
So poor Bree had Miss Hannigan for a stepmother growing up. No wonder she’s not right in the head. “You’ll stay up til this dump shiiiiiiiines…like the top of the Chrysler Building!”
It’s a hard-knock life, indeed. No one cares for you a smidge, ’til you’ve spit-polished the fridge.
Should be fun to watch, regardless of the show’s uneven tone this season.
Perhaps brushing up his Ryan Seacrest credentials in case Wisteria Lane decides to off yet another of its residents just in time for spring sweeps, hunky faux plumber James Denton will be hosting the Miss America Pageant on CMT this weekend.
Let’s see, Eva Longoria was recently hawking Chrysler’s new concept car at the North American International Auto Show, Denton is slumming on a cable-TV beauty contest, Nicolette Sheridan hooks up with an old flame to console herself over her many supposed award snubs…and meanwhile, Felicity Huffman just won a Golden Globe for Best Actress to place next to her Emmy on the mantle at home, and is practically guaranteed an Oscar nomination.
Which of these things is not like the others?
Could it be? After straying woefully from the path of righteousness, could the quality-impaired writers of “Desperate Housewives” actually be veering close to getting back on track?
Maybe. Sunday’s episode suggests they may be on to something. Don’t hold your breath just yet…but there might actually be some life left in the old dames.
Not that the episode was stellar; far from it, actually. A Jaded Cliffs Notes summary of the plot would read as follows:
Gabrielle and Carlos storyline: Stupid and boring, as usual
Susan storyline: Stupid as usual, but less boring than Gabby and Carlos
Bree storyline: Less stupid than Gabby or Susan, but significantly more boring
Edie storyline: What Edie storyline?
Applewhite storyline: Not particularly boring, but exceedingly stupid
Lynette storyline: Somewhat stupid at first, but not at all boring–and dripping with future potential
Felicia storyline: Felicia’s back?! Where have you been, Bebe, my delightfully devilish vixen?
The last five minutes of the episode redeemed the earlier fifty-five, with the knockout one-two punch of Tom’s refusal to let Lynette literally emasculate him, and Bebe’s unexpected presence as the new nurse for dearly departed Deirdre’s ailing father, administering Lord knows what to the man indirectly responsible for the murder of her sister Martha.
Tom’s unhappy in his marriage. He should be: Lynette’s behavior has been abominable all season. She’s been out dancing in bars while Tom’s home with the kids, and she even faked a kidnapping of her own children to point out Tom’s shortcomings as a caretaker. He’s had enough, and neither Tom nor Lynette knows what to do about it. At last, some real drama on Wisteria Lane, with not a contrivance in sight. Should be fun to watch.
And that Bebe…you’ve just got to keep an eye on her. She won’t let you do anything else. Even if she did, I wouldn’t advise it.
© 2026 Premium Hollywood
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑