Category: TV Action (Page 141 of 145)

“24,” Hour 7: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So why aren’t they searching the women for weapons, exactly?

February 7, 2006 / David Medsker

Any frequent viewer of “24” that didn’t see the ending to this week’s episode coming down Broadway needs to pull the plug, because they, to quote lost comedian Jeff Marder, are just taking up space. The second I saw Nubile Russian Girl (her name doesn’t show up on IMDb, nor does the “24” home page give it up) “dressed,” I knew that she was bad news. Buffybot made a reference to everything turning out fine, and I said, I shit you not, “Well, until she kills her captor, anyway.” I didn’t actually say ‘her captor,’ I said his character’s name, but I have since forgotten his character’s name, and his name isn’t showing up on IMDb either. Thankfully Buffybot, being the smart one of the two of us, remembered him from “Alias,” and in a quick search, I discovered that his real name is Patrick Bauchau.

Still, the signs were there for all to see. The episode was wrapping up, and they were thisclose to nabbing the terrorists with the only connection they had. Of COURSE she was going to shoot and kill Patrick Bauchau. And sure enough, she did. Not a bad shot for a 15-year-old who likely never handled a firearm in her life. Still, we’ve seen too many episodes end like this, and it’s starting to get, as you can see, predictable. I’m not saying they must stop doing such things, but how about shaking things up a little bit at the top of the hour? Samwise Gamgee’s mugging, now that was a pleasant surprise, especially since he gave a sweetheart deal to a super bad guy in order to get off the phone and meet his sister in “need.” Now, I will say that the mugging is a surprise, but the whole supervisor-with-a-liability angle isn’t. Buchanan had Dessler, Erin Driscoll had her crazy/suicidal daughter, and Jack had, well, Kim. Man, what I wouldn’t give for Ryan Chappelle to be back in charge again. Pity he’s dead.

Also, in the You’ve Got To Be Freaking Kidding Me department, if a guy with an eastern European accent walks into my shop, and asks me if I can make precision cuts on a whole bunch of mysterious canisters, I would probably call Buffybot and tell her that I love her very much, but I am not coming come from work today or any other day. Still, our lovable lunk of a cutter does what he’s told, because Mr. Yellow Tie (now known as Ivan Erwich, until I give him a new nickname) gives him “his word” that he will let him go. Of course, cutter dude winds up dead. Even if I couldn’t make the call to Buffybot, it would be hard to die without saying goodbye, but how good is the word of a man who instantly pulls out a gun in an attempt to coerce you into cutting open containers of nerve gas? Nope, the dude is up to no good if he’s looking for the kindness of strangers. Take one for your country, and die with dignity. He obviously needs your skills more than he’d cared to admit, if he’s pulling out his gun in the first five seconds.

Kim Bauer’s name pops up on the episode breakdown for this week, but she shows up in name only, thus lending credence to my whole bear trap/hostage situation theory. But even more puzzling than that is the “suicide” of Walt Cummings. Mighty convenient for Novick to suggest hiding the whole Cummings thing under the rug from the public for the time being, and then to be the one who produces Cummings’ corpse to the president, right outside the president’s office. Novick has always been a standup guy, but it would be interesting to see a darker side to him appear, if for no other reason than to have him killed a few episodes from now. Yep, I’m all about the killing. It just makes for better television, is all. Nothing personal against Jack, or Mike, or Kim, or Audrey, or any of the others. It’s just that TV shows show much more respect for their audiences when they treat all of their characters equally, and show a willingness to whack someone that is seemingly off limits.

I secretly hoped that Jack would be killed in the season premiere. That obviously didn’t happen, and now I’m starting to wonder if that was because President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk didn’t get a chance to sell Bauer’s ass to the Chinese first. For every second that Jack spends in the open, the greater the risk he takes of the Chinese knowing that he faked his death, which will wind up in Bauer getting water torture until his dying days. That, obviously, is a risk that President Chicken Little is willing to take. Make a will, Jack, and soon.

24, TV, TV Action

Bullz-Eye.com’s TV Power Rankings

February 7, 2006 / Jason Zingale

Six months doesn’t seem like a long period of time, but man, what a difference it makes in the life of a television show. Where some shows gloriously rode off into the sunset (“Six Feet Under”), and others suddenly and mysteriously vanished from our TV screens (“Chappelle’s Show”), still others simply eroded from within (“Desperate Housewives”), making room for a whole new bunch of upstarts that sport everything from TV’s greatest mustache to full frontal nudity, appointment viewing if ever there was such a thing.

And so, we snuck away from our TiVos just long enough to assemble an updated list of our favorite shows. Six newbies found their way into our latest TV Power Rankings, led by NBC’s Thursday-night tandem of “The Office” and “My Name Is Earl.” Meanwhile, HBO once again litters our rankings despite the loss of staff favorite “Six Feet Under,” but it’s Jack Bauer who once again reigns supreme.

Here’s a glimpse of the top three:

1. 24 – We see dead people, and it’s a beautiful thing. We’ll be the first to admit that last season’s finale was not the show’s finest, um, hour, but they sure as hell made up for it in the first four hours of this season. Both David Palmer and Michelle Dessler where whacked within seconds of each other, and while you can argue that Dessler was disposable, the killing of Palmer, the most likable character on the show, was ballsy. The stakes seem to have been raised all around this season, with none of the former seasons’ bait-and-switch plot devices in sight. President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk Logan is turning into an interesting foil for all concerned. He seems to want to do the right thing, but as Walt the Weasel has shown, Logan can be very easily seduced into doing evil deeds, so long as he comes out looking good in the eyes of the public.

Of course, it looks as though Kim Bauer (the fetching Elisha Cuthbert) is returning just long enough to get stuck in a bear trap while being held hostage in a Kwik-E-Mart, but here’s hoping that the producers have better plans for her this time around…like having her killed. You think Jack has suffered enough? Take away his daughter too, and see how mental he goes. Now that would make a great show even better.

2. The Office – I’ll be the first one to admit that I wasn’t very keen on the idea of NBC remaking the classic BBC series “The Office,” and even more so after an average first season run of only six episodes. Things can change quite rapidly, however, and it hasn’t taken very long for the comedy series to climb to the top of the television rankings, or to get shuffled into the coveted Must See Thursday night spot. This is a direct reflection of the show’s brilliant writing team, who have managed to create a unique show they can call their own, and the amazing ensemble cast, without whom the series would not have survived.

Taking place in a small Philadelphia-based paper company, “The Office” is very much a show about the day-to-day grievances that make working in an office comparable to living underneath Satan’s armpit. The office manager, Michael Scott (Steve Carell), is obsessed with everyone being his friend, while Assistant to the Regional Manager Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) is the strangest person you’ll ever meet. These two characters alone are enough reason to watch this show, but perhaps the most intriguing element of the series is the secret office crush between nice guy Jim (John Krasinksi) and girl-next-door secretary Pam (Jenna Fischer), a relationship that the BBC series played out perfectly, and one that the NBC version will no doubt do as well. And while the rest of the characters that make up “The Office” aren’t exactly pertinent to the main story at hand, they’re the funniest group of nobodies on television today.

3. Scrubs – The fall TV season officially began in September, but when “Scrubs” wasn’t on NBC’s upcoming schedule, many thought that the series had gotten the axe. Was the show’s less-than-impressive ratings finally proving too depressing for the network, or had Zach Braff’s instant film success gone to his head? Neither, actually. In fact, the show was very much alive and in production, and by January, “Scrubs” returned in full form. After last season left many fans dreading Elliot’s (Sarah Chalke) decision to leave Sacred Heart for a fellowship at another hospital, it took only two episodes before it was clear that she would return, and return she did. Meanwhile, J.D. (Braff) continues his reign as one of television’s funniest characters, a title that would be impossible to hold if it wasn’t for Braff’s complete disregard for making a fool of himself.

In just one short month on the air, the series has delivered more classic cutaways (including ninja surgeons), hilarious guest stars (like Jason Bateman), and a hundredth episode that was perhaps the best of the entire series, a “Wizard of Oz”-themed half-hour who’s multi-layered jokes required multiple viewings. Oh, and Mandy Moore (Braff’s real life girlfriend) is set to guest star as J.D.’s girlfriend in upcoming episodes; we saw what Moore did for a little show called “Entourage” last season. “Scrubs” is still one of the funniest comedies on television, and while it may not get the same love as other NBC shows (see above), its loyal fan base remains.

Click here for the rest of the Winter 2006 edition.

Entourage, TV, TV Action, TV Comedies, TV Dramas

Pick one: the chicken or the weasel

February 1, 2006 / David Medsker

In an act of shameless cross-promotion, I am pleased to be the first to inform the world that Bullz-Eye’s upcoming TV Power Rankings poll, that taste-making barometer that can literally make or break a television show these days, has “24” in the driver’s seat, once again. By the end of last season, “24” was in danger of giving the honor away, what with the whole fraidy-cat decision not to kill anyone, combined with President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk’s endless concern over how history would view his presidency.

This year, however, they have wasted no time in whacking people and giving up the true intentions of all concerned. Which brings me to this question: did anyone think that Walt the Weasel would give himself up so easily and, well, so honestly? The funny thing is that you want to say that it is merely a script device that led Walt to confess to Logan that he was working “with” some Russian baddies in order to strengthen America’s stance on terrorism, but in truth I really believe that Walt was naïve enough to think he was in control of the situation, and that President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk was indeed gullible enough to go along with whatever Walt the Weasel whispered in his ear, since Brawwwwwwk’s legacy mattered more to him than anything else, including his wife.

Still, you have to stop and pause at the whole ‘my wife is nuts’ angle. Granted, I’m lucky in that regard, in that my wife, Buffybot, is in fact way smarter, funnier, and far less nuts than I will ever be, but still, no husband would ever, ever, EVER put his wife away like that, especially the president of the United States. For a guy that is supremely worried about his perception, he sure as hell wouldn’t send his wife to the loony bin solely at the behest of his most trusted advisor. I mean, come on, man, is your thirtysomething, most trusted advisor actually making decisions about the well being of your wife of thirtysomething years? No, of course he’s not.

One astute reader brought up the question about Walt’s cell phone not being monitored by the feds while he was calling the Russian baddies, and that idea came back to roost big time. We have the US government pulling a phone call between First Lady Marty Logan (who is my favorite new character this season, bar none) and former president David Palmer, and yet, they’re not able to catch any of the phone calls Walt makes to his Russian “friends”? Even worse, the Russians are able to tap Mike Novick’s phone, but no one on the government side is either a) capable of doing the same, or b) aware that someone else is listening in, hours after a former President was killed? Come on, people. We’re the United States. We invented sneaky. There is no way that the cell phone of any government employee isn’t tapped, wired, monitored, or emitting some kind of suicide frequency when it’s convenient for us.

But back to the main point: the very fact that Walt the Weasel has been taken off the map so quickly makes me even more sure of my Oliver Stone-esque theory about Wayne Palmer. I know that the previews for this week wanted to suggest that Some Dark Haired Guy That We All Know is going to pop out from behind the couch, but after looking at the couch about a hundred times, I’m pretty sure it’s no one that we know at this point in the series. Not even Tony Almeida, whose melon has the closest match to what they showed in the previews for next week, could possibly be the bad guy. He’s still in intensive care. Who else could it be? Audrey Raines’ ex-husband Paul? He’s dead. Edgar? Not as much hair as the “bad guy,” and a much bigger melon, never mind the fact that he apparently ate Chloe in the offseason. I guess we’ll all just have to tune in to next week, and wait for them to jerk our chains like they always do…though they’re getting much better at jerking chains than they were a couple years ago, and if that means taking the life President Palmer, then, well, I guess certain sacrifices indeed have to be made. We’ll still tune in, won’t we?

Yes, we will.

24, TV Action

Hiding in plain sight

January 24, 2006 / David Medsker

The second that I heard Resident White House Weasel Walt Cummings say to Resident Terrorist Weasel, “It’s okay, I have someone on the inside,” Buffybot and I instantly thought, “Naaaaaah, it can’t be Spenser For Hire.” (Curiously enough, he even spells his name the same way, thus making the nickname perfect.) That’s too easy, we thought. And the producers of “24” were clearly banking on that, because almost instantly, Spenser For Hire turned out to be the bad guy. Or so we thought.

Actually, I have to give the producers props; it was a clever way to make Spenser For Hire a bad guy without actually making him a bad guy, since he thought he was working for Internal Affairs and didn’t know he was actually aiding and abetting a terrorist cell. But now that we’re talking about that terrorist cell…

…does it seem like the endgame has absolutely nothing to do with hurting the US? There was that line about Mother Russia being sorry they ever did such and such. Are they really just using the US as a middleman to traffic in nerve gas? Oh, the irony. Pretty frightening thought, if you choose to think about it. But it’s only Hour Five, so there is still lots and lots of time for this story to twist and crawl, twist and crawl, twist and crawl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl-awl Bang! (All six of the English Beat fans out there just laughed their asses off, and the rest of you just felt sorry for me, admit it.)

The most maddening part so far is that Mike Novick, who normally knows treachery when he sees it, clearly thinks Walt is on the up and up, because he continues to involve Walt in every confidential discussion he has with the President. Maybe he has to; I’m not that up on my Oval Office chain-of-command stuff. But if “The West Wing” has taught me anything, it’s that every White House staff member eventually has their time to talk to the president in private. The way that Walt seems to be at all places at all times is just a little too convenient. Novick would have to know about Walt’s blackmailing of Evelyn somehow, someway. And, as one rather astute new watcher of “24” had noticed, is Walt really taking calls from some terrorist organization on his cell phone? Wouldn’t those calls be monitored? I’m going to assume so, which is why I am going to give Walt the benefit of the doubt, and presume that he has a Good cell phone and an Evil cell phone, and they both look exactly the same. We’ll see if there soon comes a point where he has to answer both of them at the same time.

But never mind that: Jack Bauer is still alive. Won’t the Chinese be calling for his head any second now? After all, the President told them Bauer was dead. How long is it before President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwck puts his legacy ahead of national security, especially when his wife is “nuts,” and hands Bauer over on a platter with the Wisconsin meats and cheeses I mentioned a couple weeks ago? After all, that would feed into Walt’s plans perfectly, yes? I would venture to say that he’s banking on his Commander in Chief to do just that.

After questioning Spenser For Hire for about 30 seconds, Jack almost instantly caught on that Walt was the mole, which means that there are at least two or three twists along the way. And that, selfishly, lends credence to my far-fetched Wayne Palmer theory. I’m telling you, that boy is up to no good. I don’t care if he was a good guy on “Buffy”; he has ulterior motives now. IMDb has the cast listings for the entire season online now, but I won’t look at them out of sequence, and anyone who posts a spoiler will be deleted. Well, except for the spoilers that I’ve already posted, that is.

24, TV, TV Action

Welcome to “24,” my little hobbits

January 17, 2006 / David Medsker

Fans of ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption” will recognize that as a frequent introduction from ringleader Tony Kornheiser, but during the third and fourth hours of “24,” it took on a whole new meaning. Samwise Gamgee himself popped into the office, the textbook definition of proper etiquette and effective management speak even as he’s emasculating the first in command and, consequently, saving everyone’s asses.

But in the most frustrating way imaginable. Hands up: was there anyone who didn’t know precisely what Jack meant when he said “I’m in a flanker two position” the first time he said it, never mind the second time? Any terrorist worth his salt is putting a bullet in Jack’s brain the nanosecond he’s finished saying, “I repeat: I’m in a flanker two position,” or at the very least whacking him in the back of the head with the butt of his gun. But no, Jack said it a third time, and the terrorists still didn’t figure out that it was code. And it was that third time that allowed Samwise Gamgee to save the day, and make Buchanan & Co. look like idiots. Come on: you think none of the people who worked with Jack remembered the previous protocols for an agent under duress?

That small incident aside, the episode had plenty of thrilling moments. We learned that there are no depths that are beneath Walt, including drugging the First Lady. We also learned that, to take a line from Steve Carrell’s speech at the Golden Globes, President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwwk should remember that his wife’s life is no less important than his own, though it’s clear that he doesn’t think that’s at all the case. A couple of people were killed during the hostage standoff, but one of the surviving hostages, inexplicably, received a key card from the lead gunman. Of course, he escaped by episode’s end.

Carl Spackler left an email for me saying that he totally thought that the cop in riot gear that corralled Diane and Derek after the standoff was a Russian spook (though not that Russian spook), and I think it’s too early to rule that out, since we didn’t see what happened to Diane and Derek afterwards. All I know is that when I saw that container full of canisters, I immediately yelled, “Nerve gas!” I may be totally wrong about which ones were the bad guys in previous seasons, but for whatever reason, I know nerve gas when I see it. Maybe it’s that copy of “The Rock” I have on VHS that I haven’t watched in 10 years.

And speaking of bad guys…

Some have asked me who my dark horse candidates for This Year’s Villain could be. I think I’m ready to tell you my main suspect, though keep in mind that I have nowhere near enough information to back this up. But I think it would make for one hell of a twist at season’s end, especially since he didn’t show up this week: I think the bad guy is Wayne Palmer.

Here’s the way I see it: Wayne’s brother, the first black President in United States history, was forced to resign in disgrace during the worst season of “24,” not that the American public that supposedly voted Palmer into office took that whole worst-season thing into consideration. Bauer lied to President Palmer about his undercover operations with two Mexican drug dealers during that season, and as a result put Palmer in an awkward position involving a bomb that that spread a plague-like virus all over Los Angeles. Still, David Palmer trusts Bauer to resolve an issue with the Chinese embassy in the fourth season, but Bauer fails Palmer again, and embarrasses new President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk, who instantly calls for Bauer’s head. So Wayne sets a plan in motion that martyrs his brother, thus making President Palmer a hero, and he frames Bauer, whom he secretly blames for his brother’s entire downfall, for the whole thing.

Wayne Palmer, just a couple years ago, was Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. Now, he’s nothing. David won’t talk to his brother about what’s bothering him right before he’s assassinated, but that’s because he knows that Wayne is going to have him killed, and David even goes so far as to stand in front of the window in order to make sure that everything goes according to plan. Look for a secret tape of President Palmer to surface midseason, revealing clues to the day’s events.

I know what your next question is. Why didn’t Wayne turn Jack over to the Feds while he had the chance in the premiere, while Jack was in Wayne’s apartment? I think Wayne was trying to deflect blame, that if Jack came sniffing too close to the source, it would look suspicious. So he feeds Jack a credible but ultimately useless piece of information that gets him out in the open, in the hopes that, if the Feds don’t kill him, the Russians or the Chinese will. As for the question of why Palmer didn’t just call Novick with any talk of national security, it’s because he knew that the Oval Office had been compromised, which meant that not even the faithful Novick could protect or help him, and so he fell back on the emotionally unstable First Lady for assistance.

Yes, it’s absurdly early to make such bold predictions, but there it is. And in the odd coincidence that I am indeed correct, I have left instructions with Buffybot for what to do in the event of my untimely death. And, in the event that she’s the one responsible for my untimely death, well, then I’m toast. Nice knowing you all.

These government conspiracy shows are fun, but they’re not good for you.