Category: Actresses (Page 219 of 258)

Box Office Roundup: Nation’s bloodlust for death of Lord and savior far greater than its bloodlust for death of pagan foreigners

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Apocalypto: $14.1 million (owner: David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
Jack Black was mildly disappointed that his movie finished second to Crazy Mel’s Mayan Adventure, but when he heard that the lead character executed a perfect Power Slide in a primitive rock-off of sorts, all was forgiven.
2) The Holiday: $13.5 million (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
I’m not sure which is more surprising: that this under-promoted rom-com did so well, or that Box Office Mojo is listing the movie’s budget as a staggering $85 million. When your biggest name is Jude Law, there is no reason in the world your movie should cost $85 million without a bazillion special effects.
3) Happy Feet: $12.7 million, $137.7 million to date (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
Enjoy the view from second place, Mark. It ain’t gonna last.
4) Casino Royale: $8.8 million, $128.8 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
James Bond gives Texas Hold ‘Em a brief stay of execution.
5) Blood Diamond: $8.5 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Ow. A $100 million movie starring the King of the World and the Prettiest Oscar Winner Ever lays a big ole egg. Kristin’s second round pick looks to be an even bigger bust than her first round pick (“Flushed Away”). Uh oh.
6) Unaccompanied Minors: $6.2 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Okay, so it’s sitting at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes right now. But after seeing “Home of the Brave” earlier in the week, this movie was a godsend.
7) Déjà Vu: $6 million, $53 million to date (owner: David Medsker Scary Clown Studios)
Man, I need to create some machine that enables me to go back in time over and over in order to convince people that they’ve never seen this movie and must therefore pay to see it again.
8) The Nativity Story: $5.5 million, $15.7 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
The studio couldn’t have been thrilled when the news broke that star Keisha Castle-Hughes, who plays Mary, is pregnant…by her 19-year-old boyfriend (that’s statutory rape here in America, for those keeping score at home).
9) Deck the Halls: $3.9 million, $30 million to date (Deb Medsker: Punch and Pie Pictures)
Nothing will get you thinking like a movie executive faster than the skill of underestimating the intelligence of the moviegoing public.
10) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause: $3.3 million, $77.2 million to date (owner: Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Maybe not the $130 million-plus flick JZ was looking for, but it’s still $40 million up on “Stranger than Fiction.”
11) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan: $2.5 million, $120.6 million to date (owner: Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
I’m starting the backlash here: the movie was funny, but it wasn’t that funny, people.
12) Stranger than Fiction: $1.5 million, $39 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
The truly strange part is that I thought this high-brow dramedy would be worthy of a first round pick. Should have taken a lesson from my wife and her “Deck the Halls” philosophy.
13) Turistas: $1.3 million, $5.8 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
Hey, it was a waiver wire pickup, it could have been worse. But if it’s outgrossed by “Black Christmas” (which was picked up by Punch and Pie, a.k.a. my wife), well, then I have to eat a big ol’ pile of fool.

Conspicuously absent from the projections:
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. Gone after one week? Brutal.
Flushed Away. No rodent this smart deserves this kind of treatment.
Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny. Why this movie wasn’t released in early ’07, I’ll never know.
The Fountain. Okay, maybe not conspicuously absent, since it deliberately takes people’s minds (and patience) and gives them a good thrashing.
Bobby. Wouldn’t you think that the Democrats’ victory in the mid-term elections would change the movie’s fortunes a little?

Current standings (previous week’s standings):
1) TSSU Productions: $239.8 million (1)
2) Reel Times Pictures $167 million (3)
3) Punch and Pie Pictures: $155.2 million (2)
4) Scary Clown Studios: $112.2 million (5)
5) Seven Strangers Productions: $93.9 million (4)
6) Nights and Weekends: $82.4 million (6)
7) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $7.7 million (7)
8) What’s All This, Then?: $3.8 million (8)

Coming this week: Six currently owned movies open wide (Don’t Call Me Shirley, wisely, dropped “Home of the Brave,” after hearing the scathing advance word). Reel Times opens “Breaking and Entering,” Seven Strangers goes for the “LOTR” crowd with “Eragon” (though the fact that it’s screening on Thursday night has to be disconcerting), and TSSU releases its last movie of the season, “The Good Shepherd.” Don’t Call Me Shirley, in a big to get out of the cellar, drops its top two picks in the draft, “Dreamgirls” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” while Punch and Pie makes a power play for the pole position with “Charlotte’s Web,” which boasts box-office goddess Dakota Fanning.

Product placement at its finest

They have a product. Her need for that product couldn’t possibly be more apparent. And so, behind the scenes, a lucrative deal was clearly struck between a lingerie company and a fallen pop idol.

The result? This quote from Britney Spears, apologizing for frightening small children with her recent, omnipresent crotch shots, and implying (though not promising) that it won’t happen again:

“Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria’s Secrets’ new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me.”

Subtle, isn’t it? That’s how good product placement works: they slip that brand name right in there nice and casual-like, in a context that makes sense…so that no one in the audience takes the time to stop and wonder why Britney Spears is mentioning a major consumer retailer in her public pronouncements just in time for the holidays.

Tori Spelling, mender of fences

Since the only item in her father’s estate left to Tori Spelling was apparently “the shaft,” the former Donna Martin is on the lookout for new revenue streams. She’s already got a reality show lined up with the Oxygen Network, and now she’s working on a memoir:

Among the topics she plans to cover in the book are plastic surgery (“I basically want to lay it out in my terms”), past relationships (“I want to clear up that I was never in a physically abusive relationship, but verbal abuse is just as detrimental”), and her treatment in her father’s last will and testament.

Tori indicated that she hopes the book doesn’t cause more damage within her already fractured family…and then went on to say that she had not yet actually discussed the book with her relatives. In other words, she planned to let them find out about it via the press.

Yep, that’s always a smart strategy for resolving tension among family members: talk to them through the media rather than in person or on the phone. Seems to be working out just fine for Jon Voight and his daughter.

Informed of Tori’s plan to publish what will undoubtedly be a tremendously unflattering tell-all, her estranged mother Candy replied, “Tori can write?”

Billboard Music Awards: Now with fewer bimbos!

Both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have canceled their scheduled appearances at Monday night’s Billboard Music Awards, according to multiple reports. Though the nightclub-hopping duo were originally scheduled to co-host the event, those plans were changed when Britney abruptly pulled out of her commitment without giving a reason. A few days later, Paris changed her mind as well:

The hotel heiress canceled an appearance at next week’s Billboard Music Awards because she didn’t like the jokes written for her, according to a spokesman.

“It is my understanding that some satirical references ridiculed some of her peers,” her spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said in a statement. “Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarrassing about people she knows.”

Uh, yeah. Because when I think Paris Hilton, I think “classy, considerate dame who has no interest in mocking, snubbing, or otherwise seeking to humiliate her peers.” She is instead much more interested in performing every known sex act — as well as several newly invented ones — with her peers’ boyfriends, relatives, and family pets.

Borat make romance explosion in Pamela Anderson marriage

Shocking friends, relatives, and celebrity gawkers alike, white trash soulmates Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock have filed for divorce. Though the pair seemed a match made in heaven — what with their mutual interests in rock music, monosyllabic words, and Pamela’s breasts — their union turned rocky as a result of Pam’s recent appearance in comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Borat” movie.

According to the New York Post, Kid (real name: Bob Richie) blew up at Pam during a private screening of the film at a studio exec’s home. Rather than having a sense of humor about the movie, Richie took exception to his wife’s appearance in it —particularly during the scene involving a certain well-known sex tape:

Her friend tells Page Six, “Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, ‘You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?’ – in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing.

Ironically, by capturing the buxom blonde in his wedding sack, Borat seems to have set her free. Anderson’s statements regarding the breakup mention her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s “male insecurity and major anger issues,” and a friend mentions that “Pam is just very happy to not be in the same house with so much passive-aggressive hostility in it.”

In response to the news of Pamela’s imminent split, Borat is reportedly outfitting a cage for his intended with a built-in swing and stripper pole, so she’ll feel right at home.

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