When I saw “I Heart Huckabees” my first thought was that it should have been better. An existential comedy (written and directed by David O. Russell, who wrote “Flirting With Disaster” and “Three Kings”) featuring Jason Schwartzman, Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Jude Law, Mark Wahlberg and Naomi Watts. What’s not to like?
These two clips might shed some light as to why the movie just felt “off.” So here are two blowups – one by Russell and the other by Tomlin.
Wowsers.
All glory to elite Scientologist Tom Cruise
You can say many things about Tom Cruise (and Lord knows we already have)…but you can’t say he’s not persistent.
According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Cruise’s latest fixation concerns convincing future LA transplants David and Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham to convert to Scientology:
“Victoria is sick and tired of Tom being on her back about Scientology,” says the source. “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God. She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much. Not too long ago, Tom left 18 messages in one hour to get them to join the church.”
18 messages. In one hour. That works out to one message every three minutes and twenty seconds, in case you were curious. So apparently the other thing we can definitively say about Tom Cruise is that he’s not the least bit worried about looking, say, pushy…or desperate…or just plain batshit crazy.
May his confidence be an inspiration to us all. Or something.
To the legions of fans who are kept up nights wondering what ever happened to those nice girls who worked at that brewery in Milwaukee, rest easy: TV Land has announced its intention to shoot a “loosely scripted” pilot featuring original “Laverne & Shirley” stars Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams living together in Marshall’s home.
Since the project is just at the pilot stage, no word has been received yet on whether the two old friends will be barged in on periodically by wacky neighbors Leonard “Lenny” Kosnowski (Michael McKean) and Andrew “Squiggy” Squiggmann (David L. Lander). Also unknown is whether Penny will be required to sew large cursive “P’s” onto every outfit she owns, in order to mirror her character Laverne’s original fashion quirk.
The most important question remaining to be answered, however, is this: What of Carmine “the Big Ragu” Ragusa (Eddie Mekka)?
Poor Dina Lohan. Let’s all take a moment of silence now to respect her statements that she isn’t a “party mom.” “Whoever said that, my ex-husband or whatever, I’m not the party mom!” Fantastic.
Still, Dina wants you to know this about her famous offspring Lindsay:
“Yeah, she trusts my judgment. She’s in such a whirlwind; she’s in a tornado. I mean, we’re talking serious earthquake, you know?”
“Lindsay had to fall and get up,” she says. “I knew it was coming. I told her, but finally she was like, `Mommy, I had to do it myself.'”
Like, wow man. At least we know she’s now safely binging on Red Bull and not cocaine or whatever it was she allegedly wasn’t abusing.
Former “That 70’s Show” star Wilmer Valderrama, reputed first love of Lindsay Lohan, reportedly showed up at 2:30AM at a karaoke party Lindsay was attending in New York, and attempted to woo her back by serenading her with a Matchbox 20 tune.
Lohan did not respond positively to these overtures from the man who broke her heart just a few short years ago…though she was overheard mentioning to a friend that Fez might have had slightly better odds if he had chosen a song by a band that didn’t suck.
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