Category: Action Movies (Page 161 of 165)

“Commander Abrams, would you take the helm, please…?”

In what one can only presume is J.J. Abrams’ desire to fulfill a personal dream, the creator of “Alias” and “Lost” (and let’s not forget “Felicity” and “What About Brian?”) has signed on produce and co-write the new “Star Trek” flick

…and all I can say is, it’s about freakin’ time someone at Paramount got their head out of their arse and assigned someone to a “Trek” project who might actually successfully revive the franchise.

I mean, I’m a “Trek” fan from way back…ever since I saw “Who Mourns For Adonais?” (the episode where the crew of the Enterprise meet the god Apollo) at my cousin’s house in Roanoke, VA, when my age was still in single digits…but the last feature film, “Nemesis,” was crap. And it didn’t have to be, man. They had John Logan, the guy who wrote “The Aviator” and “Gladiator,” do the screenplay…but, then, director Stuart Baird decided to make it into an utterly lame action flick. Dude, it’s only a little about the action, and a lot about the characters.

Fortunately, Abrams and his “M:I 3” co-writers, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, are teaming up again to do the “Trek” script…but no-one seems sure what it’ll be about. Initial reports said the script “will center on the early days of seminal Trek characters James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and first outer space mission,” but that claim seems to have fallen by the wayside. (At the very least, it’s not mentioned on the official Star Trek website.) But lord knows Abrams has a universe of material to work with; in addition to the original series, he’s got “The Next Generation,” “Deep Space Nine,” “Voyager,” and “Enterprise” at his disposal…and with someone of his reputation at the helm of the film, it’s very reasonable to suspect that he could get just about any member of the “Trek” illuminati to return if the script utilized them well.

Whatever J.J. and his compatriots come up with, I’m already laying odds it’ll be right up there with “Khan.” And that’s a hell of a limb for me to crawl out on, since “Khan” is my favorite movie of all time…

It ain’t Wonder Woman, but it’s just as good

With the chances of Lindsay Lohan landing the title role in Joss Whedon’s big-screen adaptation of “Wonder Woman” rapidly dwindling with each passing day, fans of the redheaded (no wait, blonde-haired, oh wait, it’s red again) actress will be pleased to hear that Fox is currently in negotiations to bring the popular anime series “Sailor Moon” to theaters very soon, with Lohan starring as the main character and Jennifer Garner as the film’s villain. And get this, nerd extraordinaire Whedon is also rumored to direct the picture.

This may actually be a better opportunity for Lohan in the long run. As the sailor-suit wearing, pigtail-donning schoolgirl with special powers, Lohan can get her superhero groove on without saying goodbye to her teeny bopper fan club. Plus, just imagine the number of drooling adult males who will pile into theaters just to see the young actress in that get-up. Count me in!

Wake me when there’s nothing left to remake

Does the world really need a remake of the Burt Reynolds flick, “Sharky’s Machine”? Warner Brothers says, “Hell, yes, it does!”

Okay, so I’m paraphrasing.

The director has even been selected: Phil Joanou, best known for helming U2’s “Rattle and Hum.”

The folks at WB also have remakes of “The Dirty Dozen” and “The Wild Bunch” in the works. Please go see them. If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s original ideas. Only by going to see tepid remakes can you prevent originality.

“Die Hard”…as a silent movie?

Thank you, once again, YouTube, for this.

“It’s Christmas, 1924, and young Manhattanite John McClane visits olde Los Angeles towne to see his wife and enjoy yultide splendor. However, a few ne’er-do-wells have plans of their own, and C4.”

If you laughed at things like “Steamboat Itchy” or any other silent movie parodies from “The Simpsons,” “Futurama,” or “Family Guy,” you’ll be rolling at this just as much as I was…

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