You’ve got to love David Kenin, the Hallmark Channel’s Executive VP of Programming. Like his boss, Henry Schleiff (Hallmark’s President and CEO), who emceed the network’s panel last year and introduced their new dog mascot, Herschel, by saying, “Herschel is seven years old…which, even in dog years, would bring our demographic down,” Kenin had his own self-deprecating wit ready to roll for the crowd.
“You will not see on our channel ‘Confessions of a Call Girl’ or ‘Bachelor Threesomes,’ said Kenin. “But I have TiVo, so I’m okay on that.”
What’s not to like about the Hallmark Channel? Whether you watch the network personally or not, they’re very much a name that you recognize and a place that you know you can go to get a certain kind of entertainment. Perhaps more importantly, though, they’re keeping a lot of actors working who might not otherwise be getting work…but let me clarify that, because it sounds like an insult, but it isn’t intended as one. I think we can all agree that prime-time broadcast television is a virtual wasteland when it comes to providing programming for any demographic over the age of the mid-40s, and drawing a line at that particular spot in the sand is probably pushing it. There have been countless jokes over the years about shows like “Matlock,” “Diagnosis Murder,” and “Murder She Wrote” and how they cater so specifically to an older, gray-haired crowd, but the older you get, the more you begin to realize that the familiar faces from your own era are being shuttled off the broadcast networks and onto cable. (The best possible proof of this: Molly Ringwald is playing the mom of a pregnant teenager on an ABC Family Channel series.) So when you look at the Hallmark Channel and you see that they’re providing clean, wholesome entertainment that makes our parents and grandparents happy and provides work for the actors of their generation that have been demographically driven off ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and The CW, what else is there to do but applaud their efforts?
Here are some programming highlights that should help you keep Hallmark under consideration in the future weeks and months to come…
* “Dear Prudence,” where Jane Seymour plays a Martha-Stewart-styled advice columnist who helps to solve a murder. (“She’s not supposed to be solving murders,” explained Seymour. “She just happens to stumble across one that needs to be solved and manages to do so.”) It’s perhaps no surprise that the first question asked of Ms. Seymour was not about her new movie but, rather, about the one and only “Dr. Quinn.” Okay, fair enough, the show’s in reruns on Hallmark, so it wasn’t so out of line to wonder if the network might consider doing a new “Dr. Quinn” movie. It’s probably not going to happen, though. “Les Moonves (President and CEO of CBS) does not want to make any more ‘Dr. Quinn”s,” she said. ” But I have all the clothes, (so), you know, Prudence could pretend to be Dr. Quinn. And, you know, I think Sully is available…” Nice try, Jane. But, hey, it could happen: Hallmark is viewing this movie as having serious franchise potential, and given Seymour’s fanbase, there’s every reason to believe that they’re right.
* “For the Love of Grace,” a film about the relationship between a firefighter and a woman he saves, starring Chandra West (“John from Cincinnati”), Corbin Bernsen (“Psych”), and Mark Consuelos (“Husband for Hire”). And if you thought a room full of TV critics was going to miss a chance to quiz a former “John from Cincinnati” cast member on just what the hell that show was about, you’re sorely mistaken. “God, people ask me that all the time,” said West, “and I think the only person truly who can respond to what the show is about is David Milch, of course. But you know what? I think, to put a fine point on it, the short answer is no.” This line of questioning eventually led to a discussion about how Milch is an incredible speaker, to the point where you may have no idea what he’s talking about but you still believe him unequivocally. “I spent New Year’s 2000 with him,” admitted Bersen, “and he convinced me that the world was coming to an end in the following week. New Year’s Eve 2000 celebrations everywhere, and this man had me in a corner with my wife completely freaked out that we had one week left to live on this planet…and I believed it.” With testimonials like that, is it any wonder that “John from Cincinnati” was as weird as it was?
