Author: Mike Farley (Page 98 of 117)

Last night’s “Hell’s Kitchen” was proof that this is one of the most underrated shows in television. When Chef Ramsey got up in Melissa’s face, it was one of the finest moments on the show, bar none.

The show started with Bonnie admitting that she was starting to feel overwhelmed, and that she was maybe cracking just a little. Then Ramsey announced that this episode would feature the contestants cooking for a wedding reception. But first, a challenge. The teams had to create an appetizer, a fish dish, and a meat dish for the bride and groom to taste and put on their wedding menu. Each team was also given a $100 budget for this to go shopping.

During the challenge, Melissa started barking orders at her teammates, who began to get more and more frustrated with her. She blamed Julia for something she did and Julia said “oh hell no, don’t turn that around on me.” So after an episode of overcooked duck breast, the guys won the challenge. That meant the ladies had to decorate the restaurant for the wedding reception, under the supervision of a limp-wristed wedding planner. The guys, meanwhile, got massages at a spa….yeah, tell me the producers weren’t hoping for the ladies to win the challenge so they could show us a glimpse of Bonnie’s butt crack.

So the ladies, back to being “Hell’s Bitches” again, were bickering back at the ranch. Melissa told Julia that she needed to “grow a set of bawls”….oh, I can’t stand her. Plus, she had this annoying little scratch on her chin that looked like Scott Spiezio’s goatee. Hell, maybe it WAS a goatee. This woman is pure evil.

During the dinner service, Melissa messed up the potatoes and tried to blame Rock. Rock had none of that and Ramsey knew better. Meanwhile, Jen and Julia did a good job and Ramsey gave them props. Then Ramsey yelled at the wedding planner for good measure…and said something to the effect of “get the f–k out of here.” He also got right up in Melissa’s face, to which this stone-faced evil woman just said, “yes chef.” Well, you can’t say she doesn’t have ice water in her veins.

The ladies were declared the losing team, and it was definitely a good day all around for the guys. So Ramsey asked Jen to nominate two of her teammates for elimination. This was difficult, because it should have been Melissa and Melissa. But Jen also chose Bonnie just based on past services. Then came the shocker….Ramsey didn’t eliminate either of them, but instead sent Melissa to the guy’s team to see if she would fare better. Look, a bitch is a bitch is a bitch, and the guys will not stand for her crap either….least of all Rock who I still think is going to possibly win it all.

With the previews, it looks like there may be two contestants eliminated next week…either way, it’s getting mighty interesting as we barrel through the summer. See you next week…

“Hell’s Kitchen” is slowly weeding out those who really can’t cook, or make it in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant. Last night, Vinnie was sent packing because, as Chef Ramsey said, he is a “crap cook.” Ouch. But really, why prolong the agony with someone like that? We were rid of characters like Eddie, Aaron and JoAnna, and now it’s down to the real competition anyway. Here is how it went down last night:

First, there was the palate test. This is when Ramsey puts blindfolds and headphones on the contestants and places food in their mouths, and they they have to taste it and guess what it is. I’m sure this is harder than it looks, but these folks should have a better grasp on it that the average schmoe. But the red team (girls) did a much better job than the blue team (guys). In fact, when Vinnie thought that seared tuna was “pancetta” (which I think is a form of bacon), you knew his days were numbered. Then it was amusing that the guys thought Bonnie cheated, that she could hear what Ramsey was saying before putting the food in her mouth. Whatever….if you can’t distinguish fish from pork, you shouldn’t win anyway.

So the ladies got to have a nice lunch with Ramsey in a place called Opaque, where you are completely in the dark while dining. That’s kind of freaky, don’t you think? I sure as hell want to see what I’m eating. Anyway, the guys had the punishment of prepping the entire kitchen for dinner, and then they had to fine-tune their palates by sampling disgusting food like kidney, tongue, stomach lining, etc…..I’m surprised they didn’t make them eat bugs like they do on “Fear Factor.” Blech. They each almost puked but never did, at least not on camera.

The dinner service was to be judged by the customers last night, and it also featured Ramsey screaming at just about everyone in the kitchen. He lashed into Bonnie, once again calling her a “dumb blonde,” and said Melissa wasn’t a team player. He also kept referring to the whole blue team as “donkeys.” In the end, 65% of the customers said the food took too long to be served, and so Ramsey declared both teams losers. So he picked the best of each team, Rock for the blue and Jen for the Red, to nominate one teammate for elimination.

Bonnie, meanwhile, was shown crying and wanting to go home to her simpler life as a nanny. I don’t see her lasting much longer, but before she goes home I’m sure the producers want to show her at some stage of undressing again.

So Rock nominated Josh and Jen nominated Melissa….and it was clear that both were chosen because they are the nominators’ biggest threat in the competition. So Ramsey did the smart thing and overrued them…..and instead chose Bonnie and Vinnie for elimination. As bad as Bonnie was, Vinnie was pathetic last night, and it was the proper choice. Watch out though, there are a few more “crap cooks” in line to be booted off. This season can only get more interesting from here.

And I’m going out on a limb here….but it seems Rock and Julia are Ramsey favorites so far….and I think Rock has the best overall skills and mindset to win this thing. See you next week….

Last night’s episode of “Hell’s Kitchen” started with the contestants being awakened by the military at 6 a.m. Aaron, of course, had cramping legs and needed help getting up. And Bonnie, of course, was in the shower at the time the bugles sounded, meaning she had to run through the dorm in a towel. Yeah, tell me that wasn’t planned!

Anyway, for the first time ever in Hell’s Kitchen, Ramsey told the contestants they would be cooking breakfast for the Army and Navy soldiers. This played right into the Red team’s strengths, because Julia is a waffle house cook. So though there were a few glitches on the Red side with uncooked potatoes, for the most part Julia led her team to victory as the Blue team could not get their shit together. So as a punishment, the dudes had to peel potatoes and onions all day while the ladies were helicoptered to a Navy ship to have lunch with Ramsey.

Meanwhile, Aaron passed out in the kitchen while peeling potatoes….and was rushed to the hospital. We’ve all had enough of this guy by now, and later in the show Ramsey phones Aaron in the hospital to tell him that since he’s been diagnosed with a serious illness, he can’t return to the show. They never say what’s wrong with Aaron, so we’re kind of left hanging. Hopefully he’s okay and can get back to work soon at the retirement community. He surely wasn’t going to win this thing anyway.

The guys elected Brad their team leader for the next dinner service, though Rock seemed pissed that it wasn’t him. In all, the guys did a much better job minus Aaron at the dinner service. The ladies, meanwhile, had a few issues. The biggest were Joanna serving, or almost serving, rancid crabmeat. Ramsey was shouting at her that she could have killed someone. Then Jen made a bad mistake of taking spaghetti out of the trash and washing it again because they didn’t have time to boil up more.
Julia was smart enough to stop Jen before they served it.

The bottom line about the dinner service? Not many entrees made it out, and people started leaving.
Soon enough, Ramsey shut down the kitchen and declared the Blue team the winners by a slight margin. So he sent the ladies to their dorm to determine which two would be nominated for elimination. Joanna rightfully nominated herself, and after Melissa, Bonnie and Jen agreed that Julia should be the second nominee because, well, she’s a Waffle House cook and knows nothing about fine dining, Jen winds up stepping up to the plate and making herself the third nominee. First of all, nominating Julia is positively ridiculous. Ramsey likes her and the fact that she stepped up and led her team at breakfast. So what if she’s never made a creme brulee? Melissa, in that annoying New Yawk accent, was up on her high horse saying “It took me ten yee-ahs to get to this point.” I seriously hope she fucks up next week and gets booted.

Okay, so then it was down to Jen, Julia and Joanna. Julia was sent back to safety, and Ramsey picked Joanna and her rancid crab to go home. Really, that was the obvious choice because it was such a crucial mistake. Just like the fish last week, I could smell the rancid crab through the TV.

Now that Aaron is gone, the ratings are being left to Bonnie…..last week they had her in panties and a little t-shirt. Last night, it was a towel, and later in a bikini getting into the hot tub. More skin next week? I guess we’ll see, and I’ll see you good people next Tuesday.

For all of you short people out there (and I’m in that category), last night’s episode of “Hell’s Kitchen” negated any progress we’ve made in not being ridiculed by taller folks. Gordon Ramsey blatantly picked on little Eddie and eventually ousted him from the show. I mean, dude couldn’t cook very well, but we could have done without all the short people jokes. So let’s recap…

First, Ramsey told the contestants they were going fishing, but instead of taking them on a boat, he took them out back where they literally had to catch fish being thrown from a delivery truck. Aaron, the “chunky monkey” (yeah, fat people aren’t safe from ridicule either), was doing his passing out, dizzy act again and it was getting old. Meanwhile, Ramsey made reference to a small fish resembling Eddie. I kind of wish Eddie would have told Ramsey that another fish looked like a blonde haired douchebag, but that wasn’t going to happen. Plus, Ramsey being a wiseass is a big part of this show’s charm anyway.

Anyway, the teams then had to clean Dover sole, meaning skinning the fish and taking out the roe. Yuck. I could smell the fish through the TV. But the girls won the challenge, coming from behind with a great performance from Joanna. So as a reward, they got to really go fishing with Ramsey, while the guys had to stay behind and clean more fish. Ramsey made it clear on the fishing boat that the girls needed to stick together and not be so bitchy to each other.

Back home, Aaron was telling his teammates he wanted to quit the show, and they were having none of it, saying they wouldn’t let him let his team down. So he stayed.

Later in the dorm, Bonnie was walking around in a t-shirt and panties, making all the guys’ eyes bug out of their heads. What’s worse, they kept asking her to reach down and up to grab items for them, and she kept obliging. I think Bonnie is playing it up to the producers, thinking that life after reality TV may give her the opportunity for soft porn or something.

In the kitchen later that night, Aaron was told he would be preparing the Dover sole tableside for the guests, prompting him to utter an obscenity. This dude doesn’t learn. Then when he actually did it, it took 15 minutes to debone one table’s fish, and he was sweating profusely in the process. Clearly, Aaron is on this show for ratings.

Anyway, Bonnie was called a “dumb blonde” by Ramsey, but shook it off, and so did the rest of her team. The girls really came together and blew the guys out of the water. Eddie messed up the risotto and the spaghetti, and Josh ruined the chicken and the beef wellington. Ramsey was so unimpressed by the dudes that he threw them out of the kitchen, letting the ladies finish serving the guests in the restaurant. And finish they did, impressing everyone.

Ramsey then had Rock, considered the best of the worst, to pick two contestants from his team for possible elimination. After talking to each one, he chose Eddie and Josh. Aaron looked quite baffled to not have been selected, but the thing is, this guy makes the show funny and the producers had to have a say. Meanwhile, Eddie and Josh both really sucked in the kitchen, and that’s what counts.
Also, Eddie didn’t stand up for himself when all of his teammates were yelling at him in the kitchen, making elimination easy. No more short jokes, but I give Eddie credit for trying.

In the preview for next week, they showed Ramsey yelling at someone telling them they may have killed a guest, and then an ambulance…..geez, my heart was beating almost as fast as at the end of “The Sopranos” finale.

See you tonight for the one hour results show….oh wait, this isn’t “American Idol.” But seriously, I love the fact that the elimination in “Hell’s Kitchen” takes place in the same hour as the show. What a concept!