Author: Jason Zingale (Page 137 of 154)

Betting the Sopranos

If you thought that sports betting was out of control, the latest trend seems to have shifted to wagering on your favorite television show, and while most of entertainment gambling is saved for reality series like “American Idol,” a small percentage focuses on the outcomes of some of TV’s most popular programming.

The latest addition to this facet of gambling comes courtesy of the highly anticipated return of HBO’s “The Sopranos.” And since it’s been confirmed that this will indeed be the last season, sports books are betting on the chance of a lot of goombas getting whacked in the coming weeks. Check out Doc Sports’ betting tips article for more information on this and other “Sopranos” wagers.

Rapid Fire Rejects, Volume II

“Undertaking Betty”
This is what happens when good actors appear in bad movies. Naomi Watts as the town slut? Christopher Walken and Lee Evans as undertakers who prepare themed funerals? Give me a break. Anyone dumb enough to plop down twenty bucks for this turd of a movie should have the word “sucker” scrawled on their forehead with permanent marker.

“How to Lose a Lover”
Ever hear of a movie called “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”? Well, unlike that film, which actually made it to theaters, this direct-to-DVD feature is a complete washout that simply replaces the Kate Hudson role with a male character. Oh, and one more thing. Any movie that has Tori Spelling in the fourth biggest lead should halt production before it even starts filming.

“Zu Warriors”
This film came out in China ages ago, and after failing to see a theatrical release, has been rightfully dumped to DVD. Anyone who wanted to see this already has, and that’s reason enough to avoid the film, but here’s more proof: Zhang Ziyi appears on the front cover, despite having the smallest female role in the movie. A cheeky move by Disney, but one that will undoubtedly sell units to exuberant fanboys of the Asian cheesecake.

“The Visitation”
Ever since his big debut in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” Edward Furlong has slowly faded away, though he did follow up that appearance with two cult classics (“American History X” and “Pecker”). More recently, Furlong has become the poster boy for direct-to-DVD trash, and “The Visitation” is no different. Based on the best-selling novel of the same name, the film centers around a local kid (Furlong) who uses his miraculous powers to seduce a town into believing he’s the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. This results in the usual Sci-Fi Channel movie-of-the-week bullshit, with one exception: some of those films are actually entertaining to watch. This one, however, is not.

“Den of Lions”
It should be noted that any film starring Stephen Dorff probably isn’t worth your time, but that goes doubly for “Den of Lions.” Honestly, I sort of stopped paying attention after the first twenty minutes, but the back of the DVD case mentions something about an FBI agent going undercover with the Russian mafia and falling in love with the godfather’s daughter blah blah blah. The story doesn’t offer anything that hasn’t already been done much better before, including casting Bob Hoskins as the villain. If you really want to see the veteran actor in a juicy bad guy role, check out the Jet Li drama “Unleashed.”

Remaking Hollywood

For those of you still wondering why the box office has been rapidly declining over the years, it’s because of weekends like this. Three new films open on Friday, two of which are remakes, and the other which might as well be. The reimagining of Wes Craven’s classic 70’s horror flick “The Hills Have Eyes” probably has the best shot at topping the box office, but it’s hard to count out a kid’s movie (“The Shaggy Dog”) and a romantic comedy (“Failure to Launch“), both of which have equal ability to upset the always financially successful horror genre.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Tonight’s episode of “The Shield” may not have been as exciting as most weeks, but it was definitely a lot bitchier than usual. First, daft rookie Tina botches yet another arrest, and just when it looks like she’s going to get the ax, candid photos of her changing in the locker room appear on Dutch’s desk. And Dutch, the chivalrous gentleman that he is, investigates the matter further, only to discover that it was Captain Billings who accidentally snapped some shots while trying to catch the Snack Box Bandits. With the prospect of getting booted, however, Tina agrees to drop the matter and instead gets a career boost with the help of Dutch; God help us. The second act of Bitchfest 2006 came later in the show, and couldn’t have been nastier if it was being broadcast on “Jerry Springer.” Corrine reamed into Danny about her fatherless child, calling Vic a cheater, Danny a whore, and the baby a bastard. Sheesh, is it that time of the month already?

Meanwhile, Lem is stuck in jail because Kavanaugh has frozen all of the Strike Team’s assets, and after throwing a curveball that included bringing Terry’s brother to the scene of his death, Vic and Kavanaugh butt heads over his behind-closed-doors deal with Antoine Mitchell to land Lem in the same prison cell. In a desperate attempt to pay bail and get Lem the hell out of there, Vic makes a deal with a drug dealer looking to get some stolen money back, and after they’ve secured the cash, the Strike Team calls on reliable Smitty (I think this guy guest stars at least once a year) to post bail. And since Smitty has a booming surveillance business, the 100k posted won’t look suspicious.

Before Lem is set free, however, Aceveda visits Kavanaugh about launching his own investigation into the IAD agent’s shoddy work, but after being convinced of the evidence that Kavanaugh has squandered together, the councilman agrees to help. This is where things get complicated. Vic goes to visit Aceveda only a few hours later, and after threatening him with the possibility of dragging his name through the trial, Aceveda agrees to help Vic get rid of Kavanaugh. Now, is Aceveda just playing Vic to aid in Kavanaugh’s investigation, or is Aceveda really on the Strike Team’s side? Let’s hope for the latter, because I’d hate to see what Vic would do to him when he finds out he’s working both sides.

And on a quick side note, Claudette returned to the Barn “early” this week to join Dutch on whatever bullshit case he was working. She’s got a cane to help her move around now, what with getting banged up on her stumble down the stairwell a few weeks back, but I seriously doubt her battle with lupus is far from over.

DVD shuffle: 03/07/06

Out on DVD this week:

1) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – BUY: Hands down the best Potter film yet, especially considering the amount of material that needed to be cut from the book. Warner’s decision to offer three different versions of the DVD, however, was idiotic. Who wouldn’t want to lay down a few extra bucks for the two-disc special edition?

2) Jarhead – BUY: Not only did this film give critics everywhere a brand new motto for the Winter film season (“Welcome to the Suck”), but it’s also one of the best war films ever made. And get this, there’s not a single battle sequence in the film.

3) Just Friends – PASS: Yet another movie that disproves my theory about Ryan Reynolds being hilarious. Sigh.

Also out this week is the romantic comedy “Prime” and the latest Hayao Miyazaki film “Howl’s Moving Castle.”

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