That’s right: The star of “Less Than Zero,” “Chaplin,” and the upcoming “A Scanner Darkly” plans to write down everything he can remember about his drug-addled past.
The entire unabridged composition will be published on a bubble-gum wrapper by Bazooka Joe.
I’m not name-calling; I’m just repeating the title of Lindsay’s new book. Cribbing a page from the original Boy Toy, Lohan reportedly plans to release a book of sexy photos of herself.
“Narcissist” will presumably be published by Random House’s new Stating the Obvious imprint, which may also release follow-up tomes for Jessica Simpson (“Imbecile”) and Paris Hilton (“Floozy”).
Have you read about the guy from Canada who managed to barter his way from one red paper clip to full-fledged home ownership, with a little help from Arnie Becker?
Seems Montreal blogger Kyle MacDonald posted repeated trade offers on Craigslist, initially swapping the paper clip for a pen shaped like a fish, then trading the fish-pen for a ceramic knob, the knob for a camping stove, and so on…until he managed to interest none other than former “L.A. Law” star Corbin Bernsen in his story.
Bernsen had written a movie and planned to direct it himself, and, recognizing a PR gold mine when he saw it, offered MacDonald a paid speaking role in the film to use towards his goal. MacDonald was pleased, but uncertain as to what he could offer the former Arnie Becker that the actor would actually want…until he learned that Bernsen is the proud owner of a collection of over 6,500 snow globes, which he displays in his home as a quirky “pop art” installation.
Bingo.
MacDonald bartered an afternoon with Alice Cooper for a Kiss-themed snow globe (a sweetheart deal if ever there was one), traded the globe to Bernsen for the movie role, and then bartered the movie role to the small town of Kipling, Saskatchewan for his very own home.
Three questions come to mind after reading this story:
1. Does MacDonald actually want to live in Kipling, Saskatchewan (population: 1140 and dwindling)?
2. What do you think Coldwell Banker Mortgage will give me for a blue thumb tack?
3. What kind of deranged lunatic keeps 6,500 snow globes on display in his home?
Adding another feather to a cap that, frankly, was pretty well-feathered to begin with, ABC has announced that two-time Oscar-winner Sally Field will join the cast of its new fall drama, “Brothers and Sisters.” The show already boasts such high-profile talent as former “Ally McBeal” star Calista Flockhart and former “Six Feet Under” star Rachel Griffiths, not to mention out-of-work “Alias” cast members Ron Rifkin and Balthazar Getty.
Field bumps former “Eight is Enough” star Betty Buckley from the coveted family matriarch role…though Buckley still appears in the show’s publicity photo on ABC’s web site. Click here to view a (Field-free) preview for the show.
Still recovering from the brutal, unprovoked attack by a gymnasium chandelier that put him in the hospital last week, David Hasselhoff suffered further indignity in London recently when the security staff at Wimbledon was insufficiently blinded by the luster of his faded glory.
Despite not having a ticket to the match in question, Hasselhoff allegedly badgered the security guards for admittance while “steaming drunk,” yelling: “You should let me in. Do you know who I am? I’m the Hoff!”
After regaling his foes with the many virtues of “Baywatch,” “Knight Rider,” and his international singing career, the Hoff was finally admitted to Wimbledon…once a friend of his bought him a ticket.
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