Whatever you are doing right now, it can’t possibly be as important as your need to view what is undoubtedly the finest half-hour television series starring Owen Wilson as a talking motorcycle ever made: “Heat Vision and Jack,” a Fox pilot from 1999 that never made it to air.
Oh, and as if the talking-motorcycle angle weren’t enough to recommend it, the series was directed and executive produced by Ben Stiller, features a theme song by Tom Jones (covering Yaz, no less), and stars Jack Black as an astronaut whose close encounter with the sun caused his brain to expand like cookie dough, making him the world’s smartest man (but only when the sun is up, in sort of a reverse-vampire twist).
Still not convinced? Okay, how about this: the episode also features the late Vincent Schiavelli as an alien life form with hilariously low-tech glowing eyes, stars Ron Silver as a cold-blooded-killer version of himself, and even manages to sneak in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it visual reference to Superman II.
YouTube will undoubtedly be barraged with cease-and-desist orders from Fox momentarily, even though Fox couldn’t be bothered to broadcast the pilot episode even one time on its own airwaves…so watch it now, while you still can.
Admit it: You really don’t have anything better to do for the next twenty-two minutes, so just give in to temptation. You’ll be glad you did.
