This will likely be the first and last time that I use a piece from anyone associated with Fox News as a credible source, but it matches my personal opinion, dammit, so I’m running with it: Chef is not acting of his own accord. According to Roger Friedman:
Isaac Hayes did not quit “South Park.” My sources say that someone quit it for him.
I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17. At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion.
It’s also absolutely ridiculous to think that Hayes, who loved playing Chef on “South Park,” would suddenly turn against the show because they were poking fun at Scientology.
Last November, when the “Trapped in a Closet” episode of the comedy aired, I saw Hayes and spent time with him in Memphis for the annual Blues Ball.
If he hated the show so much, I doubt he would have performed his trademark hit song from the show, “Chocolate Salty Balls.” He tossed the song into the middle of one of his less salacious hits and got the whole audience in the Memphis Pyramid to sing along.
That would certainly explain an awful lot. It may also explain why Trey Parker and Matt Stone had their spokesperson spend more time attacking Scientology than attacking Chef. Their last press release was signed, “Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.” Even their comments against Hayes were phrased in a way to expose the intolerance of the church of Scientology rather than that of Hayes, so it would make sense that there is no bad blood between Parker/Stone and Hayes. If the “church” indeed took advantage of Hayes’ condition in order to cast a warning shot across the bow, then, well, they’re fucking idiots. Parker and Stone will hit them in ways that they won’t see coming until they’re lying on the ground, losing consciousness from loss of blood, while a mysterious figure looms over them with a silenced pistol to their temple, ready to give them the sweet, sweet merciful death they so desperately crave.
