Based on Sunday’s estimates:
1) The Pink Panther: $21.7 million (first week)
Okay, which part of this movie did you slack-jawed troglodytes think was funny, the part where he walks while reading a newspaper and falls down subway steps, or the part where he pulls out his badge, it flies across the room, and sticks in Kevin Kline’s chest? Have you people ever seen a movie before? Sweet Jesus.
2) Final Destination 3: $20.1 million (first week)
The best exploding-head scene since “Scanners.” Maybe even better.
3) Curious George: $15.3 million (first week)
The words “Songs by Jack Johnson” haunt my darkest dreams.
4) Firewall: $13.8 million (first week)
Little-known but well documented fact: every movie Harrison Ford has done since “The Fugitive” has sucked donkey donkey donkey donkey. The people, at last, have spoken.
5) When a Stranger Calls: $10.0 million ($34.8 million, second week)
This carries a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Ten, percent. And still, $10 million worth of babysitting money went to this in its second week. Come on, people. They won’t stop making these movies until we stop seeing them.