Hello kids, Roy Munson here with another suggestion for your fun time movie viewing schedules. If you’ve never seen it, than I suggest you check out the groovy van-centric/dope-addled flick “The Van” from 1977. It’s all about this goofball named Bobby (played by Stuart Goetz) who gives up his crappy car for an awesome van nicknamed “Straight Arrow” in a quest to lay chicks. Straight Arrow’s got it all – a waterbed, shag interior, TV, tea maker, the works! There’s even a disturbing scene where Bobby shows off the van to his mom and she starts almost orgasming on the waterbed. Creepy!
The Van is chock full of memorable moments, especially when it comes to Bobby’s come-on lines. You’ll thrill seeing him hitting up girl after girl with the classic line, “Wanna go out to my van and share a joint?” Hell, who wouldn’t, especially after all that Lucky beer they imbibe throughout the feature! There’s cheeseball sex a-plenty, good dope smokin’, and even some jug wine drinking! Whooo! And if that’s not enough, Danny DeVito himself stars as Bobby’s boss at the local car wash. Danny’s also doubling as a bookie, so you know wacky mayhem eventually ensues. And don’t miss the big scene where Bobby and the gang check out a roadside van convention!
However, my favorite moment of the whole movie is when Dugan, the big, brainless bully of the movie challenges Bobby to a van race. Bobby calls Dugan a turd, and Dugan replies “No one calls Dugan a turd!!!” He keeps repeating this over and over as they race down the street. Pure gold, I tell you. And what’s more, this flick features the Sammy Johns hit “Chevy Van,” as well as the best love song ever, “Early Mornin’ Love,” also sung by Johns. So if you want a movie that has it all, including the most carefree and moronic leading character ever seen in a flick, then “The Van” is for you.
