Disney is preparing to release “Bambi 2” as the latest addition to its best-selling series, How To Tarnish Your Childhood Memories For Only $19.99*!
(*$16.99 at Sam’s Club and Costco.)
C’mon, Disney, this is just ridiculous. Make “The Thumper Movie.” Make “The Adventures of Flower the Skunk.” But don’t sully the name of a perfectly good classic film by unnecessarily sequelizing it. And don’t give me that crap about how it’s not really a sequel because it’s a heretofore-untold tale from a time period that falls within the range of the first film (sometime, apparently, during Bambi’s awkward adolescence). It’s still a freakin’ sequel. We’d rather you go through the motions with that whole “after a few months the print is going back into the vaults and will be unavailable in stores” schtick every five years than see you try to wring more money out of a flick this way. (Then again, you know those deer; they’re all about the buck.)
Plus, what else needs to be said about Bambi’s life? Is the subtitle of this one going to be “Mother’s Revenge”…?
“Hunters beware! Bambi’s mom is back from the dead, and she’s pissed…!”
Actually, come to think of it, we might…just might…be up for seeing that.
But if that’s not the plot of “Bambi 2,” count us out.
