Let’s play a game. See if you can guess which former child star has a “novel” coming out this spring, based on this excerpt that might (but, well, doesn’t, as far as we know) appear in his or her work of “fiction”:
“So then, after doing a hilarious John Hughes comedy about a guy named Bug trying to date-rape my sister, I spent two hours beating the shit out of a couple of imbeciles at Christmastime. Then I got killed onscreen by a bunch of wussy bees, but it was okay, because Michael Jackson made me the godparent to his first child–which was totally conceived the natural way and didn’t involve lots of scientists with tubes and stuff. Then, when I was seventeen, I figured it was high time I got married.”
That’s right, book club fans: Macaulay Culkin has a word processor, and he’s not afraid to use it! He’s working out his Daddy issues (just like Premium Hollywood’s official celebrity mascot, Lindsay Lohan, does on her new album), and he doesn’t care who knows about it.
Oh well. At least he wrote the damn thing himself (we think), instead of just taking credit for a ghostwriter’s work like Nicole Richie appears to have done.
