Those bastards over at the Food Network have done it again. They got me to watch a cooking show that I otherwise wouldn’t have cared to see. The other day my wife was watching “Everyday Italian” with host Giada De Laurentiis (granddaughter of Dino De) and I became fixated. Soft focus Skinemax lighting, a low cut shirt, and breasts a-popping with plenty o’ nice cleavage. I sat there making lewd remarks every time she talked about spreading this or that and so forth. My wife sighed and did that laugh she does when she knows I’m a pathetic mess. I just said, “Who’s looking at the food?!” She of course said she had no interest in Giada’s boobs, which is understood.
However, it reminds me of when the Food network also ran that one show with chef Nigella Lawson, another buxom babe with a nice soft focus show and a cameraman who seemed hell bent on making sure you didn’t notice the food too much. I used to find myself being caught in the headlights (har har) of that one as well. So it’s my professional advice to you dudes out there who are looking for something titillating that isn’t the same old same old to check out some Giada or Nigella and get your freak on. Cooking complex shit for rich friends you will never have was never so good.

