Ah, “Gossip Girl.” Thank God for your first season coming out on DVD just in time for me to become so sufficiently smitten with the series as a guilty pleasure that I was actually a little bit excited about the second-season premiere…and now that my daughter’s off on a field trip with her nana, I can write a bit about the season opener as well as the two episodes that follow it.

So what did everyone’s favorite teen-aged Upper East Siders do over the summer? Well, despite Blair’s concerns, Serena didn’t just spend her summer sitting around, watching ‘The Closer’ and eating take-out…but nor did she dare to have any sort of rebound relationship. Yes, it’s true: Serena still misses Dan. Blair, meanwhile, tried to spend her summer forgetting about Chuck by starting to date a lad named James…or did she do it to make Chuck jealous? Either way, we still ended up with a moment that confirmed once and for all that creator Josh Schwartz is absolutely out to take this show over the top, when James turned out to be an English lord who had taken on a false identity as a commoner so that he could find a woman who wasn’t just after his title.

Awesome.

Jenny is in the midst of her fashion internship within Eleanor Waldorf’s fashion empire, and when we first see her, it’s clear that she’s still desperately trying to climb the ladder of success, pitching one of her own designs as something her boss, Laurel (Michelle Hurd), could wear to the upcoming White Party. The boss lady dismisses it as a Holly Hobbie frock, which is actually kind of funny…but not as funny as when Jenny is telling her dad the story later, describing the White Party as being so exclusive that, “last summer, they even turned away Jack Johnson.” Replies Rufus, “Sounds like a party with taste.” Nice. It will probably not surprise you that Jenny finds a way to pull a few strings and not only get herself into the party (as the guest of Eric van der Woodsen, no less, who’s managed to forgive her over the course of the summer) but, indeed, show her boss what she’s made of. Here’s hoping it comes back to bite Jenny in the ass, though. She’s almost as big a user as Blair.

Our man Dan has become a chick magnet, but he’s also totally fucking up his internship with a big-time author because he’s finding himself unable to complete the short story that he was required to turn in by the end of the internship. Why? Because the story’s about the end of a relationship, and he doesn’t have the closure in his own relationship to be able to write the end of the story. As everyone was hoping, however, the end of the episode found Dan and Serena back in each other’s arms for a romp on the beach, so one presumes that Dan’s creativity came rushing back rather quickly.

The best part about this season, however, looks to be the addition of Madchen Amick as a cougar who Nate is trying to tame. First and foremost is the fact that Amick has been a fountain of hotness since her days on “Twin Peaks,” and she has maintained her sexiness to a remarkable degree, and even if it’s a little disconcerting to see her being cast as “the older woman,” hey, at least, she’s still getting work. Between her looks and her delivery, Amick has become the queen bitch of her generation. Plus, there’s considerable comedy to be found here, with a particularly funny scene involving Nate having to make a mad dash out of her house in his boxers when her husband returns home unexpectedly. But in typical “Gossip Girl” fashion, there’s a twist that proves to be the most tantalizing bit…but it isn’t revealed ’til the second episode, so maybe I shouldn’t give it up.

Oh, what the heck: she’s also the stepmother of Blair’s new beau! How awesome is that?!?

Okay, so you’re probably wondering what else can you expect from the next few episodes, and I’m here to provide you with at least a little bit of that info.

* Rufus survived his tour and seems to have more or less enjoyed the experience, but at first we’re given the impression that it was definitely a “you can’t go home again” situation. Turns out, however, that he’s already in talks with Tanya Donnelly about going on tour with her. Will it actually pan out…?

* Dan and Serena might have rekindled the old fire, but it’s not looking to be a long-term thing…or if it is, there’s going to be a considerable amount of on-again / off-again between them. Serena definitely seems more interested in getting back together than Dan does, and a “big talk” between the two is a given.

* Vanessa is preparing to manage a coffee shop within Rufus’s art gallery, and although its chances of success remain unknown, Rufus is certainly mightily impressed with the set-up. Oh, yeah, and she’s also still pining for Nate…but given his current situation, is it mutual? And if it is, how would Catherine theoretically react to it?

* Speaking of Nate, even though he’s nailing Madchen Amick, he’s still battling his father issues.

* The relationship between Nate and Catherine won’t stay too secret for too long…or, at the very least, someone walks in on the pair while they’re in flagrante.

* We finally get to see a couple of the regular characters get approached out of the blue by complete strangers who give them shit because of something written by Gossip Girl. (I always thought it was a little weird that, for all of these news items Gossip Girl was posting, the only people who ever acknowledged them were the regulars.)

* Jenny does get a bit of comeuppance. (Score!) Unfortunately, it doesn’t last. (Boo!)

* Blair’s relationship with Marcus – the lord formerly known as the commoner named James – may not be built to last…but, really, that’s less a spoiler than it is an inevitability, y’know?

* Oh, and Chuck…? Still a douchebag. And then some.

“Douchebags ‘R’ Us, how can I help you?“