Larry the Cable Guy may have his legion of fans, but even they must’ve realized by now that the blue-collar comic just isn’t cut out to be a movie star. In his latest film, Larry plays a small-town sheriff who rescues a damsel in distress (Ivana Milicevic) from a group of supposed kidnappers. As it turns out, they’re actually FBI agents escorting the woman to Chicago as the lead witness of a corporate scandal, but when it’s uncovered that they’re also in cahoots with the company’s criminal boss (Peter Stormare), Larry takes it upon himself to protect his hostage from further danger. As you can probably imagine, “Witless Protection” is one of the worst movies you’ll see all year. The film isn’t just plain bad, either – it’s the most overacted, under-directed film in cinematic history. Larry acts like a class-A dumbass every chance he gets, while B-list co-stars like Stormare, Joe Mantegna and Eric Roberts should be shot dead for stooping so low. It’s one thing to appear in a movie like this when you don’t know any better, but veteran actors like them should show a little more integrity when earning their next paycheck.
