To file under “match made in heaven”: Legendary axe-man Eddie Van Halen is getting divorced…and so is legendary metal groupie Kelly Bundy (er, Christina Applegate). After 24 years of marriage, Eddie is no longer taking it “One Day at a Time” with estranged wife Valerie Bertinelli, and former Applegate arm candy Jonathan Schaech will be doing “That Thing He Does” with someone else.
Come on, tell me you can’t see Kelly Bundy hooking up with Eddie Van Halen…I dare you!
Oh, and in happier news: Eminem has reportedly reconciled with his ex-wife, Kimberly Mathers, and plans to remarry her. The real Slim Shady apparently said he was “just kidding” about those song lyrics in which he stabbed his pregnant wife, threw her in the trunk of his car, and drove it off a bridge…and those other lyrics in which he begged Kim to “bleed, bitch, bleed.”
The former-and-future Mrs. Shady will reportedly be continuing her cocaine abuse in order to help the marriage.
