If you were sad to see Michael go at the end of season two, well, tonight was your night. If you were like me, however, and felt like his departure couldn’t come any sooner, then you were probably cursing the TV gods for bringing him back. In what quickly became a special “Lost” version of “Where Are They Now?,” tonight’s episode did little more than run through what Michael has been up to since leaving the island. It was a major departure from the basic narrative structure of the series (though they’ve done something like this once or twice before), and it was easily the worst episode of the season.
After failing to commit suicide by driving his car into a dock container (is that really the best he could come up with?), Michael goes to visit Walt at his mother’s house. Unfortunately, Walt won’t talk to his father after what happened on the island, and so Michael tries to kill himself (again) using a gun he swapped Jin’s watch for at a local pawnshop. Before he can pull the trigger, though, Michael is visited by an unexpected guest in the alley. It’s Tom (AKA Mr. Friendly), and he doesn’t waste any time in letting Michael know that Ben has been keeping tabs on him since his departure. He also insists that Michael can’t kill himself because “the island won’t let [him].”Nevertheless, being the sorry-ass idiot that he is, Michael decides to test this theory out, and the gun jams.
Whether or not this means Tom was actually telling the truth is a moot point, because after seeing footage of the wreckage on TV, Michael is quick to agree to go undercover and play hero to his “friends.” Given a new identity (Kevin Johnson) and a job as a deckhand on the freighter, Michael’s first day on board brings him a present from Ben. It’s a giant fucking bomb, but after activating it, he discovers that it doesn’t quite work. Instead, Ben wants Michael to simply sabotage the ship so that it will never reach the island, but when Michael relays his tale to his fellow Losties, Sayid turns him over to the boat’s captain as a traitor.
Now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Is that it?” In so many words, yes, it is. There was also a brief subplot involving Ben’s sending away of Alex, Karl and Rousseau to the island’s Temple station, but after Alex’s beau and mommy were gunned down in the jungle, who actually thought it was the freighter folk doing the shooting? It’s obviously Ben’s people doing what they do best – killing innocents – and I could give a rat’s ass what happens to his daughter. Get back to the good stuff already!
In the end, I don’t believe there was a single thing the average viewer actually learned from watching this episode, aside from the revelation that writing a character off a show and then bringing him back is never a good idea. I mean, did we really need Michael to return? Ben’s spy could have just been some random dude they’ve never met before – at least then we wouldn’t have to sit through an entire episode filling in the gaps. I have faith (little as it may be) that the writers know where they’re going with this angle, but if Michael doesn’t make it out alive this season (and part of me wishes he won’t), I’m going to be pissed off. It’s ultimately lose-lose, but if I had to choose, I’d rather waste a single night than put up with that whiny bitch for the rest of the series.
