The two-hour premiere of “American Gladiators” aired last night, and while there were quite a few differences from the original series (new rules, new events, etc.), this particular post is about a completely different kind of change: namely the gladiators that shouldn’t be invited back for another season. I mean, have you ever seen the gladiators dominated that badly before? Not only are most of them bad contenders – they’re just plain stupid. How do you DQ on an event, only to do it again five seconds later? (Here’s looking at you, Mayhem).
Of the 12 gladiators that debuted last night, only five should stay. Crush and Fury were the only female gladiators that showed any real promise in their respective events (Hellga is completely worthless, and the other three just don’t seem to have what it takes), while Titan (AKA the bronze-skinned douche), Toa (The Rock’s real-life cousin) and Wolf (he’s a bit crazy, but entertaining) proved that they deserve to be called American Gladiators. I didn’t see enough of Justice, so I’ll give him a free pass, but the other two – Mayhem and Militia – are bad, bad, bad. The latter, specifically, was so weak at his first event (Hang Tough), that the announcers claimed he sustained an injury and promptly replaced him. Yeah, right. In the words of Donald Trump, “You’re fired!”
