Despite all the punchlines which have starred our great white neighbor to the north, the moment things start to get rough in these United States, the first reaction of most Americans tends to be, “That’s it, I’m moving to Canada.” And, believe me, I’m definitely including yours truly in that number. If an opportunity presented itself, I’d totally move to Canada…although I’d probably avoid attempting a transplant to Saskatchewan. (Those people are pretty testy.*) With this being the case, I was highly surprised to find myself so disappointed in Albert Nerenberg’s documentary, “Escape to Canada.”

Maybe it’s my own fault. Maybe it’s because I’ve always thought that escaping to Canada sounded like a good idea that I was disappointed. But I walked gleefully into the proceedings, figuring I’d get a good schooling on the reasons why I was right, and all I got in return was a lengthy conversation on how awesome it is that Canada has legalized pot and gay marriage. And while I’m sure it’s great news for a certain demographic, I’m not gay, and the closest I’ve ever gotten to smoking pot is the secondhand smoke I inhaled when I went to see AC/DC on their “Fly on the Wall” tour. In other words, neither of those are really great selling points for me…which was unfortunate, since, well, that’s pretty much the only two things that “Escape to Canada” takes the time to discuss.

I’m not saying the film isn’t interesting on a certain level; even though these aren’t matters that affect me on a personal level, there’s something to be said for a country that’s progressive enough to embrace them to the point of making them legal. But, honestly, at the end of the viewing, all I could think was that it’s gonna take more than the ringing endorsement of Mr. Tommy Chong to make me seriously consider Canadian citizenship.

So, yeah, I realize this is a pretty short review, but, unfortunately, I just don’t have much else to offer. On the whole, I walked in looking for info on topics like Canada’s lower crime rate, their medical plan, and other stuff, but it’s like Nerenberg went in with his blinders on. If he’s happy with this streamlined view of what’s great about the Great White North, more power to him. But, personally, I was just disappointed.

* This is a joke, intended for a friend of mine who lives in Regina, Saskatchewan. If you are not this person, please don’t get testy…mostly because you’ll only be perpetuating a stereotype.

Post-script: I dropped an E-mail to the aforementioned friend in Regina, telling him of this documentary and my disappointment with its streamlined approach, and this was his response: “My guess is that, perhaps, it’s more to highlight that, compared to the US, Canada has greater freedoms, that where the US is compromising liberties, Canada is expanding them. There are a number of ways one could argue that Canada is freer, the political system is (somewhat) less corrupt, and the social fabric less tattered, but the dope and same-sex marriage stuff are more recent points of contention, and the two countries are heading in opposite directions. Religion also doesn’t have much hold of our political system (or society, really). When the Liberals passed same-sex legislation, the prime minister, Paul Martin, openly said that as a Catholic he’s opposed to it, but that he wasn’t elected to be a Catholic prime minister, only prime minister for all Canadians.” Okay, fair enough, and I’ll buy that. But I was still disappointed, anyway.