Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have officially separated.
So here, then, are the top 6 jokes that can be written based solely on the information contained within the Associated Press article about the separation:
6. There is no truth to the rumor that Simpson will be recording a cover of Tammy Wynette’s “D-I-V-O-R-C-E.” Her management assures us that “spelling is not Jessica’s strong suit.”
5. At the time we went to press, MTV had not officially confirmed the greenlighting of “Newlydivorced: Nick and Jessica.”
4. ABC will be re-running last year’s hour-long holiday spectacular, “Nick and Jessica’s Family Christmas,” but it will be split into two 30-minute specials.
3. Jessica Simpson will be penning a sequel to her best-selling book, “I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding.” It will be called “Well, I Did…But It Didn’t Take: How To Divorce a Pop Star. ”
2. Lachey’s former bandmates in the boy band 98 Degrees issued the following statement to Nick: “Nice work on derailing the gravy train, dumbass.”
1. In a statement to the press, Simpson and Lachey announced, “After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways.” A subsequent addendum was later issued, clarifying, “Actually, Nick did most of the careful thinking.”
