Based on Sunday’s estimates:
1) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – $101.4 million (first weekend).
Bored with setting £100 notes on fire, J.K. Rowling decides to buy the Isle of Man, renames it Azkaban, and sinks it into the Irish Sea.
2) Walk the Line – $22.4 million (first weekend)
No wonder Johnny had such a rough upbringing: his dad was a freaking Terminator.
3) Chicken Little – $14.7 million (third weekend, $99.1 million to date)
For their next CGI feature, Disney will make a movie about a virgin (voiced by Rachel McAdams) who crashes weddings by day and spends her evenings as a vigilante fighting to free clones from a utopian facility where their organs are harvested for profit. The soundtrack will not feature a single song released after 1978.
4) Derailed – $6.5 million (second weekend, $21.8 million to date)
We’d come up with something witty to say about this movie, but Weinstein Co. didn’t want to show it to us, and we didn’t want to see it.
5) Zathura – $5.1 million (second weekend, $20.2 million to date)
Scores of kids whose parents couldn’t score tickets to “Potter” flock to “Jumanji in Space,” are subjected to playground ridicule for at least a week.
What on earth happened to: Jarhead? Onetime Oscar hopeful, unceremoniously booted out of the top 5 by an unpronounceable kids movie.
