All right, let me see if I have this straight. Farmer Hoggett, the father of a Federal agent, sold suitcase nukes to a former Russian general, who in turn teamed up with an Islamic terrorist group that had the resources to execute a massive strike that would take down several highly populated U.S. cities. Those terrorists, before they even revealed that they had nuclear capabilities, demanded the delivery of Jack Bauer, currently imprisoned by the Chinese government, for the purpose of killing him as a vendetta for various crimes against the Islamic terrorist cause. Jack, luckily, is not killed, and assists CTU in recovering the remaining suitcase nukes. Enter the Chinese, who extort Jack into stealing the components of one of the nukes, using former squeeze Audrey Raines – assumed dead by the Western world – as bait. Jack complies, even though it means serious jail time if not the death penalty. The Chinese now have Russian nuclear technology, and for that they have to thank…Farmer Hoggett, who has apparently been working with them from the very beginning.
I call shenanigans.
This is an even bigger house of cards than the ending to “Saw III,” and that was the shakiest house of cards I’ve seen in my life. In order for this to work, Hoggett has to hope that Jack doesn’t get killed by the Muslims. He then has to hope that no one at CTU will consider holding him for questioning when his other son – who works for him, I might add – confesses to trying to kill Jack and orchestrating the hit on President Palmer the First. He then has to hope that no one will find it at all suspicious when said son dies while alone in a room with him, as he blames his son Jack for excessive use of force. After that, he actually has to hope that Jack can stop the bombs from being detonated so Jack is even in a position to deliver the technology to the Chinese at all.
I call shenanigans!
On the other side of the rock, Lisa Miller is forced to snuggle up to her lobbyist spy of a boyfriend in order to implicate him, and if Bishop didn’t read her non-verbal cues, then he is the worst spy in the history of bad spies. We’re talking Aykroyd/Chase “Spies Like Us” bad, decoy bad. He must want to have sex with her pretty badly, even though they just did it an hour ago and he was alarmed by her abrupt departure and equally abrupt return. Can they really convict Lisa of treason? She had no idea she was being played. That’s like pressing charges against people who have their identities stolen.
None of this makes sense. Or, if it does actually work in the vaguest way possible, it all leads to a big “Who cares?,” as my wife puts it. Can’t say I disagree. Jack Bauer, you have officially been put on notice.
