True story…although details are virtually nonexistent at the moment as to what happened. About all that’s known at the moment is that she was at the Hard Rock Hotel, in Hollywood, Florida, and she was unresponsive when paramedics arrived.
Smith’s attorney, Ronald Rale, told Reuters, “I can confirm that she is deceased. It’s as shocking to me as to you guys.”
Somewhat less shocked, presumably, are Metzie 62 and Wishful Thinking, the two entrants into the Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch who had Smith selected on their 2007 entries.
Is it too early to blame TrimSpa?
UPDATE, 4:20 PM: We’re currently waiting on the news conference at Memorial Regional Hospital, in Hollywood, FL, where Smith was brought…and, while the wait goes on, CNN is so desperate for new material on the matter that they’re interviewing some teenage girl outside the hospital who apparently saw Smith’s sheet-covered body be rolled past her on a gurney.
UPDATE, 4:35 PM: While waiting on the hospital, we’re watching the press conference at the Hard Rock Hotel by the Seminole police department. Apparently, Anna Nicole’s private nurse – who discovered her – called the hotel operator at 1:38 PM and asked for paramedics, and her bodyguard administered CPR to Anna Nicole at some point after that. The scene is being examined, but it’s not being treated as a crime, and, beyond that, the police don’t seem to know much, really…or, at least, the officer doing the conference doesn’t; he’s said several times that he hadn’t been up to the room himself. Someone just asked him if he knew what she’d been doing since checking into the hotel, and he replied, “Relaxing, I guess. That’s what people come here to do.” Yes, I can picture the Hard Rock Hotel’s new slogan now: “Where People Come To Relax…And Hardly Ever Die.”
UPDATE, 4:49 PM: CNN is playing the self-promotion game. They’ve already had Larry King come on via telephone and reminisce about how much he always liked Anna Nicole, and they just showed a clip from his 2003 interview with her – of course, it’s the moment where she talks about how she gained weight a few years ago because of a battle with depression, thereby suggesting that maybe this was a suicide – for the second time. It’s also been decided that Larry will be dedicating his show tonight to chatting with Anna Nicole’s friends and family. Oh, God, now they’re interviewing yet another random person outside who saw her body on the gurney…except he says the first time he saw her, she wasn’t covered with a sheet. Wow, gripping. I’m switching over to MSNBC.
UPDATE, 4:55 PM: I’m not sure which is preferable: watching some guy talk about seeing Anna Nicole on the gurney, or listening to Rita Cosby at MSNBC talk to Katrina Szish from US Weekly about the gossipy highlights of Smith’s past few months. Oh, come on now: MSNBC is now showing footage that was recorded a few minutes ago…and they’re interviewing THE SAME TEENAGE GIRL CNN TALKED TO. Maybe Fox News is better. At the very least, I’m sure they’ll be completely impartial.
UPDATE, 5:02 PM: I’ve been on here for two minutes, and I’ve already seen Geraldo Rivera and Greta Van Susteren weighing in on the situation, so I think I’ll stick around for a bit. It was just announced that Hugh Hefner has issued a statement, saying he’s very saddened to hear of her passing, she was a good friend, and that his thoughts and prayers are with her loved ones at this difficult time…and, you know, I actually believe him. Mind you, I don’t think it’ll stop him from slapping together some of her old layouts and calling it a tribute issue, but I believe him. Now they’re showing a clip of Greta interviewing Anna Nicole…recorded, oddly enough, on my 32nd birthday…and Anna Nicole just said she’s not ditzy. It’s a laughable comment, but post-clip, Greta says it’s more true than you’d think, that she came across as clever and intelligent. Also, both Greta and Geraldo think that Anna Nicole’s significant other, Howard K. Stern, is pretty skeezy.
UPDATE, 5:14 PM: The autopsy will be performed tomorrow. Some clever fucker on Fox – I didn’t catch his name – just said that Anna Nicole’s life had as many ups and downs as her weight. Count on that line being recycled in many an article.
UPDATE, 5:18 PM: Oh, my sweet Christ, now FOX is showing an interview clip with THE SAME TEENAGE GIRL CNN (and also MSNBC) TALKED TO. Seriously, how awesome would it be if it turned out that she didn’t really see a damned thing, but that she thought, “Sweet, these guys are so desperate that they’ll believe anything, I’m gonna make some shit up”? Okay, now they’ve moved on to their medical correspondent, Dr. Jennifer Ashton, and are discussing the possibility that Anna Nicole might’ve O.D.’ed on methadone…um, and she’s now just made the incredibly broad statement that it could’ve been suicide or it could’ve been homicide. The word for today, kids, is speculation. Say it with me: speck-you-lay-shun.
UPDATE, 5:26 PM: I flipped back to CNN because I was so annoyed at Fox’s ridiculous comments, only to pop back into more of that self-promotion. “Nancy Grace,” says Wolf Blitzer, “I know you’ve got to go, you’re very busy, you’ve got your show to get ready for, which airs at…” Gimme a break. And then it’s followed by Larry King, who’s returned for a few more minutes, getting off the line…but not before reminding viewers about his tribute show this evening. Okay, MSNBC, let’s try ya’ll again…
UPDATE, 5:48 PM: Okay, my wife and daughter are home, so I’m checking out for awhile, but before I go, I think it has to be said: God love her, she had many moments of full-on hotness, and I’m sorry she’s dead, but Anna Nicole Smith was not Marilyn Monroe. She was a controversial figure, but in the end, she’s going to be not much more than a pop culture footnote or a small entry in the overall history of the U.S. Supreme Court, so I’m a little stunned and surprised at how completely batshit the cable networks are going over her death. Yes, it was mildly unexpected – and I say mildly because a friend of mine saw her on “Entertainment Tonight” last night and said “she was high as a kite and pilled out of her mind; she couldn’t even talk, so her lawyer/husband had to talk for her” – but is her death really worth this incredible amount of coverage? Discuss.
UPDATE, 7:16 PM: Just a quick post-dinner comment. Just about every news network has gone back to their regular programming, but when I popped over to “Entertainment Tonight,” the ghoul in me was unsurprised to see that they were already trumpeting the fact that they had done the very last television with Anna Nicole. They showed some footage of her getting ready for said interview, and, frankly, she looked awful…and I don’t recall actually hearing her talk; I think it was only her handlers’ voices I was hearing. Anyway, I’ll be tuning in to Larry King tonight; I feel like it’s my duty, really.
UPDATE, 11:18: Screw duty. I watched “Scrubs” and “30 Rock” instead. But I did check it out during a commercial, and – honest to God – Larry King went to a live interview with yet another person who saw Anna Nicole’s body when the gurney was brought into the hospital. Seriously…? The special program dedicated to Anna Nicole, featuring reminiscences from friends and family, and he had to rely on a guy in a parking lot…?!? Anyway, I’ve got the VCR set to tape the re-run of the program at midnight. If there’s anything interesting, I’ll report back in the morning…but, right now, I’m going to bed.
