“Rest Stop”
By far the best of the bunch, “Rest Stop” is like a low-budget version of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” meets “Joyride.” The cast is kept to a bare minimum (which means there isn’t a very high body count), and all the characters maintain the usual level of stupidity that we’ve all come to expect from horror movies.
“Let’s Scare Jessica to Death”
Typical of most ‘70s horror flicks, “Let’s Scare Jessica to Death” seriously questions the competency of Hollywood casting directors. Incredibly grainy and filled with enough extreme close-ups to confirm just how terrible the acting really is, watching this film will make you feel sick. And no, that’s not a compliment.
“The Roost”
After a cheesy opening introduces “The Roost” as the Movie of the Week on a late-night cable access show, it becomes quite clear just how bad this film is really going to be. The acting is horrendous, the dialogue isn’t much better, and the story concept suffers from a lack of originality. Killer bats? Is that seriously the best you can do? Sigh…
“The Curse of El Charro”
A note to horror producers all around the world: we know it’s easy to write characters based on outrageous stereotypes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good idea to group a whole bunch of them into one film. When have you ever seen a circle of friends consisting of a ghetto diva, a goth girl, and a preppy chick? Exactly, never. And that’s not even the worst of it. Please accept the following quote as my official warning:
“James, you two-timing son-of-a-bitch. After all I fucking did for you! I fucking stopped chewing, I learned all of those stupid little strip dancing lessons… I even went down on you inside of a movie theater… and I swallowed for Christ’s sakes!”
Yes, it’s that bad.
