“…a few bright copper kettles, and some warm woolen mittens. Oh, and don’t forget the brown paper packages tied up with strings: Woody Allen forgot those once, and she ripped him a new one, but good.”

Scarlett Johansson has backed out of a commitment to play Maria Von Trapp in Andrew Lloyd Weber’s production of “The Sound of Music,” set to open in London’s West End this November. Sources from Weber’s camp say the starlet’s excessive demands were the dealbreaker:

“Her people were not ‘pro’ the idea. It became clear that it wasn’t going to work because the demands were so ridiculous,” Lloyd Webber was quoted as saying in The Times newspaper.

He said Johansson’s representatives “couldn’t understand why she would want to appear in the West End for $18,500 a week when she could be earning $10 million for a movie.”

It was annoying because she really wanted to do it,” Lloyd Webber was quoted as saying.

Publicist Marcel Parisbeau said it was a busy work schedule and not pay demands that sank the actress’ chance to play the role made famous by Julie Andrews in the 1965 film version of the musical.

“It is true that there were some discussions regarding Scarlett and the production of ‘The Sound of Music.’ But Mr. Webber’s statement regarding the demands is extremely exaggerated,” Parisbeau said in a statement. “Her management team was simply asking for terms that an actress of her stature would ask for.”

Interestingly, in the absence of Miss Scarlett, Weber has turned to a different sure-fire source for drawing attention to his revival: He plans to cast his leading lady via a reality-TV competition called (what else?) “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?”

Start working on that audition tape now.