Since we offered up a “New”-themed movie list to kick off the new year, it seemed like a reasonable idea to put together a TV-related list as well, but when we looked back and saw the number of series which featured the word “new” in their title, we noticed a recurring theme: many of the “new” series didn’t come anywhere close to living up to the standards set by the shows which inspired them. These are but ten examples, but rest assured that there are many more which could’ve made the cut.
10. The New Leave It To Beaver (1985): You may recall that this show was entitled “Still the Beaver” when it premiered as a Disney Channel original series, but when it transitioned over to TBS for its second season, that’s when the “New” title kicked in. It’s possible that it doesn’t really belong here, since it’s been ages since I last saw it (the rights to the series are sitting in limbo at the moment, which means that we won’t be seeing it in syndication anytime soon, let alone on DVD), but my recollection is that, although the TV movie that inspired the show was pretty great, the show itself often wasn’t. Still, while “The New Leave It To Beaver” may not come anywhere close to matching the perfection of the original series, it deserves a certain amount of credit for being the most successful series revival / sequel of all time, bringing back virtually every single surviving member of the cast: Tony Dow (Wally Cleaver), Barbara Billingsley (June Cleaver), Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell), Frank Bank (Lumpy Rutherford), and, of course, Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
9. The New WKRP in Cincinnati (1991): Given the success of the original “WKRP” in syndication, it’s no wonder that someone had the idea of bringing the show back, but while the new version did manage to corral a few of the old cast members – Gordon Jump (Mr. Carlson), Frank Bonner (Herb Tarlek), and Richard Sanders (Les Nessman) all came back – the folks who opted out of the series were replaced by tepid new characters who couldn’t hold a candle to those whose shoes they were filling. Given how disappointing “The New WKRP” was, it really should be higher on this list, but I’m keeping in this slot because the show did manage to convince Loni Anderson (Jennifer Marlowe), Tim Reid (Venus Flytrap), and Howard Hessman (Dr. Johnny Fever) to make guest appearances at various points.
8. The New Avengers (1976): Fans tend to be split about the merits of the return of John Steed with two new partners, Mike Gambit (Gareth Hunt) and Purdey (Joanna Lumley), but you can hardly blame them, given how iconic a figure Emma Peel was. It’s said that the reason Steed had a pair of partners this go-round was that producers weren’t entirely confident that 54-year-old Patrick Macnee could hack the work regiment anymore, but he managed to pull it off pretty well, all things considered. Nowadays, it’s no wonder that the original series is the one which stands the test of time best: “The Avengers” had a look which helped define a decade, whereas “The New Avengers” has a look which is defined by its decade. Mind you, it doesn’t exactly help that you can’t look at Purdey without thinking, “Hey, it’s Patsy from ‘Absolutely Fabulous’!”
7. Saved by the Bell: The New Class (1993): It’s probably arguable that “The New Class” kinda matched the original “Saved by the Bell,” though since neither show is exactly Shakespeare, it’s kind of hard to tell. The biggest argument to make in favor of the original is that even people who didn’t watch the show can generally still manage to list off a couple of its characters…Zach, A.C. Slater, Screech, Lisa, Kelly, Jessie, Mr. Belding…whereas the next-gen version of the series lasted for – holy crap! – seven years, and yet you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who holds it in the same esteem. It’s probably because nobody from “The New Class” went on to do a film as awesome as “Showgirls,” to host “Extra,” or, as in Dustin Diamond’s case, to star in a porn entitled “Screeched” a.k.a. “Saved by the Smell.” Would anyone from “The New Class” have the cajones to participate in a Dirty Sanchez? I think not.
6. The All New Captain Kangaroo (1997): The idea of having anyone other than Bob Keeshan play the esteemed Captain Kangaroo was blasphemous to the generations that had grown up with him, and the fact that there isn’t a single clip of “The All New Captain Kangaroo” on YouTube speaks volumes about how little impact the show had even those who were watching the show when it premiered in 1997, but don’t blame John McDonough. He brought much joviality and enthusiasm to his role as the new Captain, and it wasn’t as if they didn’t try their best to include as many elements from the original series as possible (although the attempt to make Mr. Green Jeans a younger guy was a foolish move, given how sage-like Lumpy Brannum’s original performance in the role had been), but the memories of Keeshan’s template were still far too fresh in everyone’s minds.
In fairness, the show did earn the Crystal Reel award for Best TV Series for Children, picked up a Parent’s Choice Award, and received praise from Literacy in Media as well as a position in TV Guide’s vaunted list of the Top 10 Best New Kids Shows of that year. Still, I’m still pretty sure that, were you to do an informal poll, every single person you asked would prefer smoking their cigarettes while watching the original “Captain Kangaroo.”
5. The New Tom & Jerry Show (1975): Remember the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon that emerged after Marge Simpson successfully fought against the show’s violence? (“Lemonade?” “Please!” “I made it just for you.” “You are my best friend!”) Shockingly, it was inspired by Tom and Jerry, which – cue the sarcasmatron – is almost certainly the first time a comparison between the two cat-and-mouse teams has ever been made. In describing “The New Tom & Jerry Show,” Wikipedia says, “Tom and Jerry, after years of rivalry, have finally become the best of friends, in episodes wherein they roamed the world competing in sports, enduring on-the-job misadventures, running afoul of dastardly villains, solving mysteries and helping others.” Kids weren’t having it, though, and if you look back at the Saturday morning schedules of the era, you’ll see that Hanna-Barbera kept combining Tom and Jerry with other shows…most notably Grape Ape…in an attempt to keep viewers interested, but by ’77, the show was gone. When Tom and Jerry returned in 1980 under Filmation’s hand, the former was chasing the latter again. It still wasn’t as good as the original theatrical shorts, but at least it was a step back from the abyss.
4. The New Addams Family (1998): Okay, see if you can follow this. First, there was the original “Addams Family” series. Then there were two “Addams Family” theatrical films: “The Addams Family” and “Addams Family Values,” starring Raul Julia, Anjelica Houston, and Christopher Lloyd. Then there was a third film, “Addams Family Reunion,” which went straight to video and featured an almost entirely different cast. (Tim Curry’s not a bad Gomez, but, seriously, Darryl Hannah as Morticia…?) Finally, things came full circle with a new “Addams Family” series, which featured no one of note in its cast and had precisely one thing going for it: John Astin – the original Gomez – playing Grandpapa Addams. Since he only appeared in two out of 65 episodes, you can see why it’s not really worth your time.
3. The New Adventures of Perry Mason (1974): This series is so justly forgotten that I could find neither a clip to share with you nor a decent picture to offer up as proof of its existence, but you really only need to know that Mr. Mason was played by someone other than Raymond Burr. That’s not to say that a new “Perry Mason” series in the wake of Burr’s death isn’t viable, but as you’ll note from the date, this one was done while Burr was busy with “Ironside,” and given that he eventually returned to the role, it’s no wonder that few folks remember that Monte Markham played the character in this short-lived show.
2. The New Adventures of Batman (1977): As a lifelong comic book geek, I always feel a little twinge of guilt whenever I offer disparaging comments about any superhero-themed cartoon, but it’s hard to feel too badly about this one. As a kid, I was so excited about the idea of seeing Batman and Robin on Saturday mornings that I was willing to accept the fact that they’d added a new character – Bat-Mite – to the mix. It wasn’t until years later, when I had the chance to reinvestigate the series on DVD, that I realized that he was arguably even more obnoxious than Scrappy-Doo…and, yes, I know those are bold words, but you’re gonna have to trust me on this one, mostly because I wouldn’t want you to have to endure any more of the show than what’s in the below clip.
1. The New Monkees (1987): There was never any question that this series would make it into the #1 spot on this list, but even so, I feel woefully inadequate being the one to write about it. Over on Popdose.com, Jeff Giles – who, you may be aware, also writes for Bullz-Eye – wrote about the New Monkees’ lone, self-titled album in his late, great “Cutouts Gone Wild!” column, and I can’t possibly describe the series better than he does in these few words: “It was awful. Seriously, you don’t understand, we’re talking about the era of ‘Small Wonder’, ‘Out of This World,’ and ‘She’s the Sheriff,’ and ‘New Monkees’ still couldn’t last longer than 13 episodes.” The guys picked to replace Davy, Peter, Micky, and Mike were four dudes named Jared Chandler, Marty Ross, Larry Saltis, and Dino Kovas, none of whom have gone on to significant careers as actors, and the New Monkees – we’re talking about the band, the album, and the show in this case – are remembered by only a handful of devoted fans. In fairness, you could argue that their music might well have been more successful if they’d recorded under a different name, but the show…? Hey, you read what Jeff said: it never had a chance. And once you check out this clip, you’ll agree with him.
Honorable Mention: “A New Great American Hero.” It never actually made it to air, but Stephen J. Cannell Productions put together a 20-minute demonstration film as a pitch for a new version of “The Greatest American Hero,” this time with the aliens giving the super-suit to a woman. Although the footage from the film was later combined with existing material and made into a full-length episode that was added to the original series’ syndication package, it never went any farther than that.
